One Day Before Estimated Due Date

Monday morning, I had what could be my last midwife appointment before going into labor. With it still not feeling as if she was coming out anytime soon, my midwife suggested that I think about some herbal labor stimulation.  We listened to Lily's heartbeat, it maybe being the last time in the womb.  It is not a sound that will ever get out of my head.  Wofm-wofm-wofm-wofm, real fast, 150-some beats per minute.

We went into the birth center's shop to take a closer look at the labor stimulators.  Castor oil seems to be the most well-known natural labor inducer, but that comes with 4 hours of major diarrhea.  As Cortney pointed out, that's not the way anyone would want to start labor.  There are some tinctures and homeopathics in the birth center's little kit, which my midwife suggested that I could start Monday at work, and then pick up with the breast pump.  I just picked up the whole kit just in case.

I arrived to work early, so I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes.  Mondays are usually my slowest days, but this day was just busy.  I suppose that gearing up for the nearing November sweeps period and the impending presidential election make things super busy all around.  Blah.  Regardless, I still managed to get in four rounds of the herbal labor stimulator, taking a dose of something different every 15 minutes.  

After work, Nicole and Dave came over for a Seedgroup of the Oak and Eagle leadership meeting.  Corbee and Kali stopped by to visit.  Corbee swooped in from Canada to make sure she was here to welcome Lily into the world, and she wanted to make sure she could give pre-labor me a hug. You know, before I start working really hard.

My mom has been skeptical about some things.   I realized that the why of some of her questions are complicated, and we've spent the last ten years having different experiences.  So, the why is hard to communicate.  Looking through the bag of herbal tinctures, she wanted to know why I needed to take them, because they didn't look very natural to her.  She said that she didn't need anything to help her start labor.  It wasn't something that was easy to explain, so she commented that I'd probably just hand her a book, which wasn't something I thought I could do.  Then, I pulled out the Wise Woman's Herbal for the Childbearing Year to find that most the tricks in my little bag were listed under labor remedies.  It made us both feel better to read that these are known responses to naturally kick start labor.

My mom has also been thrust into this world of mine with all of these people, chosen family, who are strangers to her.  The other day, she asked me why I felt the need to have all of these people around during what is supposed to be a private time.  She's taken a little offense, but slowly adjusted, to the fact that she isn't here to do all of the jobs that Iris and Lily need done.  After spending a couple of days mulling over why so many people, I realized that I, myself, had forgotten why I needed all of these people around me.  The me of four months ago knew that the me of this moment would need all of these people around.  I am apparently still devastated that baby daddy turned out to be crazy, and while I thought him and I would labor semi-alone as most people do, I need my support system to distract me from that reality and to remind me over and over that we are loved and we are not alone.  It's not a task that my mom will have the energy to do along with everything else she signed up to do.  Each person in my support system is a shining star that reflects back at me all of the good things of life:  friendship, love, support, magick, caring, family, good times, connection, food, wine, home, happiness, purpose, resilience, late nights around the fire, babies, puppies, kittens, fancy dress parties, full moons, board games, etc.