Stabby Friday Makes for Crabby Mommy

No, don't go to work, Mommy!

Friday, I don't understand why the BLEEP you have to be stupid before a perfectly relaxing weekend. Seriously. Come on.  Last Friday started out with insane mommy sleep deprivation. And then this:

"Shhhh.  You're being too loud.  I can't play my game."

That was my nephew, who loves to come upstairs and play online games on our big TV, telling us to be quiet several times.  He's six.  Six and a HALF, Aunt Becky.  It was cute.  But, to the insane woman falling apart trying to get ready for work and take care of the baby, it wasn't cute that day.  Still cute. 

"Be quiet.  I can't hear my game!"   LOL!  You just wait until you're thirty and own a house and your six year old nieces and nephews are telling you to pipe down, buddy.

The inane (read: REDONK) state of traffic lately prompted me to check it 15 minutes before I would normally leave.  Shit.  It's red/black for half of the trip to work.  Accident on the 14th Street Bridge A-gen.  I don't understand why traffic is so jacked up lately.  Have to throw everything in the car and leave immediately.  Kiss the baby and RUN!

As I was leaving our neighborhood on my trek downtown, a group of teenagers decided to cross the street in front of my car. This after my light turned green.  WTF!  They see my car driving towards them through the intersection.  They see the green light.  They see the little man on the sign telling them DON'T WALK.  They decide that they are going to try their luck anyway.  How do they know I'm not one of those jerks who won't just keep going.  I slow but keep moving forward to let them know that yes, I have the right of way, and yes, I fully intend to use that right of way.  

But, these kids stop in the middle of the road.  One of them tells me that I had to stop because I am in the car.  NO, JERKFACE.  I have the green light, and I am going straight.  I roll down my window and yell something about traffic laws at them.  Damn it, where are your parents?  I am sure they didn't teach you run out into the road without looking both ways.  Who the bleep am I kidding?  I've lived here long enough to know that's probably exactly what their parents taught them.  I had the right of way.  I could have just kept going.  Then, again, my colleagues would have had to come out and report on the story of the crazed working mom running down mouthy idiots.  Embarassing.

I finally got to work.  Got a bomb parking spot by the door.  BAM.  As I'm getting out of my car, two of the parking attendants tell me that I need to move my car, because the spot is reserved.  There is a reserved sign for that spot over THERE.  And a sign for this other spot over THERE, but nothing on that spot I parked in that said it was reserved.  One of the attendants said that ALL of the spots in that row are reserved.  I asked him if I could park in the spot across the way, also not marked reserved, yet next to other spots that are reserved.  He said that, yes, I could park there.  What the hell kind of sense does that make?  I mentioned something about how I didn't pay $150 a month to go through this parking bull shit all of the time.  

Oh?  You're a MONTHLY parker?  We thought you pulled a ticket.  You can park there.  No problem.

It's not reserved?

Reserved for monthly parkers.

OMG.  This shit makes me mental. We apologize to each other, laugh, shake hands, and part ways. 

After I got very vocal with several people Friday morning, I decided to check my horoscope, which I haven't done in years:

With respect to your immediate environment, you are likely to feel more self-assertive than usual. This can be a good time for telling people how you feel about anything, for you are not willing to let others get away with intruding on your rights.

Oops. I should have stayed in bed cuddled up with my Lily.

Lily the Scorpio Baby

Once upon a time, I was really into astrology.  I find it interesting, because there is something true about the fact that a lot of folks born around the same time share some of the same tendencies or personality traits.  I am a Virgo to the letter.  Sean is a Libra, also to the letter (god help us all, lol). Libra, an Air sign, is all about ideas, while Virgo, an Earth sign, is all about doing something.  Knowing the way I've related to people over the years, I thought it would be awesome if Lily was a Virgo, too.  We all knew we'd be screwed if she was a Libra, too, which is where her due date would have put her.  Ha!  I didn't think Scorpio was any better.  I used to joke about needing to do lots of smoking and drinking, so that she'd come out early enough to be a Virgo!  LOL.  Alas, I did not do that, and here we are.

I just couldn't process what having a Scorpio daughter meant.  So, when she was born, I gave up on trying to use astrology to understand her.  Then, a few weeks ago, I looked up her astrological information again.  This time, I didn't see the portrait of someone I couldn't wrap my head around  Instead, I began to understand my crazy little baby as being a complex and dynamic person.  That she wasn't going to grow up as a Scorpio, but she was born a Scorpio. That instead of feeling held down by the personality of a high need baby, I needed to embrace her strengths and weaknesses.

I went from dreading having a Scorpio daughter to seeing this little passionate person was going to be a shit ton of fun getting to know and watch grow up.

SUN IN SCORPIO

You are very intense and have extremely strong feelings, which you find difficult to talk about because they are also very complicated. When you lose your temper, you get extremely angry; fortunately, that doesn't happen very often. And when you are angry, you don't easily forgive the person who caused your fury. For this reason you have ambivalent feelings about many people. On the other hand, if you do love someone, your feeling is very intense.

Lily is very intense and her feelings do come off very strong.  When I first read this, I had started to see some very difficult feelings going on that she was having trouble communicating.  This being tied to her having a clear picture of what she wants, yet she's unable to communicate that.  Also, when she's upset because you're not doing what she wants you to, she wants to be held by someone else. 

You are very sensitive and your feelings are easily hurt, but you won't run off and hide if someone hurts you. Instead, you strike back and fight hard.

We often comment about how she's so sensitive.  She cries at times as if you hurt her feelings.  My mom comments at times that she thinks she hurt Lily's feelings. 

You have a great love of the mysterious and hidden. You also want to know what is going on in people's minds, so you make an effort to learn as much as possible about human nature.
Sometimes other people have difficulty understanding you, and for this reason you may not make friends easily. But the friends you do have will be very good ones who will probably last for your whole life.

She has shown us recently that when she's settled and calm that she is trying to empathize with us. It's like at the end of the day, she's the one telling me that it's going to be all right.

CANCER RISING

You are a very sensitive person and very attached to familiar surroundings. When you encounter new people, you are friendly enough, but you won't talk about your inner feelings until you get to know them quite well. However, once you decide to trust someone, you trust him or her completely.
Where you live while you are young will always be important to you.

She is more comfortable at home than anywhere else, though she does love to get out of the house.  She loves, loves, loves to meet new people.  She will be the happiest baby to meet you.  The second you put your hands on her to take her, she freaks out.  She is not comfortable opening up to other people.  She does only trust a few people.  

If you feel secure in yourself and self-confident, you can be a generous person, always willing to give of yourself.

In those areas in which you lack self-confidence, you have a serious problem. Your sensitivity makes it difficult for you to take criticism or harsh words from anyone, especially those whom you love. When you feel hurt, you withdraw into yourself and avoid others.

MOON IN ARIES

You are very high spirited and quite courageous, although other people may not realize this until they have made you angry. You are quite independent, and you do not care if anyone agrees with you.

Goodness, she is a VERY high spirited baby.  Courageous would be a good word. She would use us to charge headfirst into battle at times if we'd let her.  Not that she has any battles (yet). 

When your feelings are aroused, you are impulsive and careless. However, when you settle down, you forget your anger very quickly and don't hold a grudge. As you grow older, you must learn to be more in control of yourself.

Interpretations by Robert Hand from "Youth Portrait".