Connecting With Baby

Here are some things I have been doing or plan to do to connect with Lily before she's born:

• Reading: I have been reading some of my favorite stories to Lily on a regular basis.  From the special edition Winnie the Pooh books that my dad brought home when we were little that I dug out of my baby box to a fairy tale book that I picked up at a local consignment shop, I love to read to her before I fall asleep. (Cortney said that her baby room was Winnie the Pooh when she was a little babe!  Yay!)
• Singing: I have been singing my favorite songs to Lily.  I sing to her at work and in the car.
• Talking: A coworker of mine said that him and his wife talked to their son, Kento, all of the time while he was in the womb.  They described to him what they were doing.  After 26 weeks, babies have more developed hearing and can recognize the voices of the people who have been around them the most.
• Meditation: Taking a few moments to tune out the rest of the world and just put the minds eye in the womb to sit with Lily.  I often wonder what her days are like, what she feels, and if she's happy.
• Pausing: When I feel her kick or move, I pause to say hello.
• Altar: I created a baby altar as a place to connect with Lily.  I continue to add to the altar, including the friendship stone that Kali brought back from Canada for Lily.
• Prayer: In the mornings, I light a candle as a prayer for health, safety, and/or love for baby Lily on her altar.
• Memory Book: I picked up a Winnie the Pooh memory book for Lily in which to begin recording notes.
• Time capsule: Gather some items and put them into a container to be opened at a later time.  I plan to do this, and here are some of my ideas of what to put into it: pictures of preggers mom, family, and friends, letters from family, pregnancy diary, tape measure with belly size marks, money with year printed on it, picture of the place we live when she's born, list of popular songs, and list of predictions for what our life will be like or the world will be like when we open it.
• The Places You'll Go: Not something to complete before birth, but a really neat concept that can be applied to various ideas.  I heard on the radio last month about a dad who spent 13 years collecting messages from his daughter's favorite teachers in a copy of Dr. Seuss' Oh the Places You'll Go to give to her for graduation. 
• Letters: My friend Norma said that she writes a letter to her daughter every year and she collects letters from various people in her family.  They tell Shaadi about what was going on that year.
• Nesting: A great way to connect with Lily has just been getting ready for her to make her debut.  Thinking about what we needed was scary at first, but all of this helps me visualize our life together and holding her in my arms.

Add notes to a jar about good things that have happened during pregnancy.
Put those notes in a scrapbook, memory book, or frame when baby is born.

Original note jar idea from pintrest.com: "Start the year with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that happen. Then, on New Year's Eve, empty it and see what awesome stuff happened that year."

Lily has a huge extended family, and they have connected with her by:

• Talking to her,
• Talking to her in funny voices (Cortney!),
• Spoiling her with goodies,
• Offering second hand baby items,
• Offering to come help with baby after birth,
• Researching baby stuff and sending me links,
• Feeding mama and baby, 
• Sending their love, and 
• Dropping everything to be there for us when we needed support.

Lily will certainly know that she is loved.

End of the 2nd Trimester

My 2nd trimester is coming to a close this week.  I cannot believe that it's already been 29 weeks.  It was six months ago, at 6 weeks, that I had my first sonogram.  Here is a summary of some of the amazing things I've learned about birth so far:

Getting ready for birth:

• Instinctively eating all of these foods with fat, protein, salt, and other specific nutrients was super awesome for baby!
• A prenatal vitamin and fish oil are two daily must-haves.  I was resistant to supplements at first, but found a good whole food supplement I was okay with taking.
• Water is essential, because our bodies need it to make more blood for the baby.  And, dehydration can cause preterm labor.
• Regular light/moderate exercise, even if just walking, can make for an easier birth.
• Kegels, pelvic tilts, squats, and tailor sitting are all daily exercises that can get your body in shape in the right places for birth.
• There are two teas that are super awesome for pregnancy: nettle and red raspberry leaf.
• Coconut oil and baking soda make an awesome (and messy) natural deodorant.
• Raw honey is a secret acne weapon, and perfect for a natural face treatment.
• Routine sonograms aren't necessary.  I could go for the initial sonogram and then get another one at 20 weeks to see how baby is doing. 
• Chiropractic care during pregnancy will help align the pelvis and make for an easier birth.
• There are many ways to minimize varicose veins during pregnancy.
• It's better to be a single mom than to live with an abusive partner.

During birth:

• Giving birth takes an average of 18 hours for first-time moms, so don't rush to the hospital or birth center when you know it's time.  If you're sleeping, go back to sleep.  If not, keep going on about your day as usual.
• Drugs during labor often only put off pain until later.  Also, mom and baby are often so out of it afterwards that they can have trouble connecting and breastfeeding at first.
• Keep low light in the birth room.
• Hypnosis can be used to have a relaxing and possibly pain-free birth.
• Relaxation is the key to minimizing pain during labor. 
• Laying on your back during birth can create the most work for the body.  Moms should follow their intuition 
• Don't be afraid to touch baby's head as it crowns, and don't be afraid to use a mirror to see the baby's head.
• When the baby is born, immediately place it on the mother's chest.  
• The baby's first glance at the mother will help instinctual bonding.
• Many babies are able to immediately begin to breastfeed.
• Don't wash the baby at birth, and rub the vernix into the skin.

After birth:

• Breastfeeding is awesome!  There are so many disadvantages to formula when compared to breast milk.  Breastfeeding is really magickal.
• Babies can learn a few pieces of sign language to communicate their needs before they can learn to speak.
• We can start potty training newborns using elimination communication.   
• Picking out a cloth diaper is hard work.
• Some people choose to not vaccinate their children.  Others choose to space out vaccines over a graduated schedule.
• Babies depend on us to meet all of their needs.  Since babies' wants and needs are the same at this point, the recommendation is changing from letting a baby cry to teach independence towards keeping baby happy.
• There are many more cosleeping parents that I realized.  Babies and parents find separation hard, and being next to one another at night often feels right. If done properly, this can actually be safer for baby, make feeding easier, and everyone can get more sleep.

It is amazing to enter the third trimester.  I cannot believe how far Lily and I have come.  I love her so much.

Crib Shopping with Dad

Baby shopping is scary.  So scary, my dad had to drive down from Ohio to help get me started.  It's scary, because:

• I am not a gifty person in general.
• There are too many choices!
• What about all of the safety considerations?!
• I won't really know what Lily needs until she is born. 
• Some of the stuff is too cute, but unnecessary.
• Pregnant brain makes thinking hard.
• I have to plan for an apartment that I haven't found yet.
• I am nervous about over-buying.
• I am nervous about buying things that folks will buy or pass along second hand. 
• Then, I'm nervous about losing the receipts!
• Every list of what you might need for baby is different.
• There are many things that can wait until later.
• Space is an issue right now and in our new home.
• I might pick out something now, but find something better later.
• I don't want to spend a lot of money on things that we'll only use for a couple of months or not at all.

SCARY!

Now, some of this seems silly to moms who have been through all of this.  Feel free to get a good giggle.  Dad was doing safety research on cribs and other big ticket items.  He couldn't find much information, besides the fact that dropside cribs were banned in 2011, and that wasn't a concern since those aren't even permitted to be resold. That doesn't mean that someone won't try to resell them on Craiglist or at a garage sale, but at least we knew that we should avoid them if we did see them.  According to the Consumer Produce Safety Commission, "A consumer should not resell, donate or give away a crib that does not meet the new crib standards, such as trying to resell the product through an online auction site or donating to a local thrift store. CPSC recommends disassembling the crib before discarding it."  While that was a relief, that didn't narrow the search down.

Dad and I hit Babies R Us on Saturday.  We made a b-line for the baby sleeping stuff.  I want to try to cosleep, so should we buy a crib, bassinet, or cosleeper?

Bassinet

Bassinet - a sort of cradle that looks really cute and homey.  These ran from around $79 to $199. Most were good for newborns through 15 lbs (around 3 months)

Co sleeper

Co sleeper - a bassinet that can attach to a bed, so that baby sleeps close to you.  The one at Babies R Us was around $159.  Good for newborns through 15 lbs (around 3 months)
 

Graco Lauren Convertible Crib

Cribs - There were lots of choices.  Some were relatively inexpensive ($130 to $199) and others were just through the roof ($399 to $599).  There wasn't much difference between the cribs.  Most of them went against the wall.  After realizing that most bassinets and co sleepers were really just for the first three months, Dad and I opted for just getting a crib.

• How much do we want to spend on a crib?
• High back for against the wall, or accessible from both sides?
• Some cribs covert to toddler beds, day beds, and full size beds.  For $89 and a mattress, that crib could be a  kid's bed when we're ready. 
• Cherry, white, espresso, or natural color?
• Wheels or no wheels? 

Ikea Crib

 For good measure, Dad and I trekked up to Ikea to see what their options were.  I remember there being lots of kids stuff, and I usually buy affordable furniture from Ikea.  But, the only choice was a really cheap-feeling option for $119.  That didn't seem to stand up to the few good models we saw under $200 at Babies R Us.  So, we went back to Babies R Us to make a final decision.  Yes, we could have looked on the internet, but we found it really helped us to be able to touch the cribs, and the Ikea question would have really loomed in my head.  We could really feel for the difference in sturdiness from one crib to another.

We were sure that we were going to go with the Graco bed above.  But, we thought about it, and how I might like to have the crib up next to the bed at times.  So, it might be good to have one that was accessible from both sides.  However, I did really like the idea of the convertible full size bed.  It seemed like for our price range, we couldn't get both with the choices in front of us.  So, we opted for the crib accessible from both sides.

We purchased the  Delta Sedona crib.  Ta-da!