Getting This Food Under Control

Fun fact of the day: the incredibly delicious Panera cupcakes have 520 calories in them.  That's right.  Five. Hundred. Twenty.  FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY!!!

I had cut out the carbs and sugar, and while my weight dropped, I got very sick.  More than withdraw, the headaches, body aches, and confusion went on for more than a month.  I'm still breastfeeding, so I have no idea what my body really needs until it makes me eat it.  So, I started eating some lasagna and peanut butter cups.  I got ill from some bad salad a couple of months ago and then stopped taking it to work, so I was confused with what healthy foods I should fill the cracks in my appetite.  I'm pulling teeth to just try to make it through with the little sleep that I get, so I don't have time to be sick.

I gave up on waiting for the weight to come off before shopping for clothes.  I went out and bought a new work wardrobe, none of which was a size larger than I was before pregnancy.

Then, I noticed that I unintentionally stopped eating meat and my weight started to balloon.  Between the easy-to-make cheese lasagna and the broccoli cheese soup at the brand new Panera, I wasn't being the carnivore I know I am.  I went from 168 lbs to 176 lbs really fast.  It was horrible.  None of my new pants fit last week!  Mind you, I was 150 lbs when I got pregnant and gave birth at at least 190 lbs.   I cut down my calories to 2,000 or less per day,.  Before, I was eating probably 3,000 to 4,000 and maintaining a good weight for awhile. But, even at under 2,000 calories per day, I was still gaining weight!

I remembered that I started loosing weight when I was eating meat and veggies for lunch and dinner.  I thought it was the sugar and grains that were causing the stagnation.  Last week, I ate several Indian dinners with naan (bread).  Lots of bread, actually.  And, I started loosing weight again!  By eating meat and veggies, I had also inadvertently cut out dairy, too.  The baby and I also cut dairy out last week to see if that would reduce her night wakings.  She is certainly sleeping better.  And, even though I have no idea how many calories I'm eating, the weight is still dropping.  It's at least under control.

I also cut down on the coffee I was drinking, because I read where one lady said she couldn't even drink decaf after noon without her breastfed child being up all night.  I think Lily's really a lot happier now.  We don't know what is going on with her nap schedule.  Some days, she'll take two naps, but other days, it's just one.  I am not sick by not eating much grain or sugar now, so I think that the large quality of coffee I was drinking to make it through all of the sleepless nights (that was causing some sleepless nights) required a larger amount of grains and sugar to deal. 

Even at 2,000 calories or less per day, I couldn't loose weight when I was eating lots of dairy.   How incredible.  I would not have thought it mattered as much what I ate as long as I didn't eat too much.

Weighing In

News Flash: I can button my pants.  All right, we're getting somewhere.  I refused to size up.  That meant accepting that I was now this size.  Forget it!  I will wear my maternity clothes until I can get back into my jeans.  I could almost button them when I got that stomach flu over New Year's. Thankfully, I remembered to button them before the station meeting last Friday, as I got a surprise award, and as everyone turned to look at me, that would have been embarrassing.

Before I got pregnant, I weighed 150 lbs.  When I had Lily, I most likely weighed 190 lbs, but I didn't want to look.  The baby just needed to come out and when the baby came out, I would loose all the weight, right?  A good 10 lbs was gained in her being 10 days overdue.  Before I cut out the grains and sugars last week, I was back up to 180 to 185 lbs.  I couldn't button my pants.  Not even the size up I bought when Target didn't have any maternity pants.  I tore a really big hole in the crotch of my last pair while standing in Babies R Us trying to shop with Lily for the first time by myself.

I realized that there is a low weight and a high weight for every day, and as my body is doing many of the incredible things that it's doing, my weight greatly fluctuates.  I have been trying to weigh myself in the morning after Lily nurses and before I eat.  Today, my low weight was 176 lbs with my high at 180 lbs.  And, I am eating like a horse.  At least two salads, multiple servings of chicken and vegetable stew, a couple of spoonfuls of coconut oil, a huge piece of lasagna, a beer for breastmilk, eggs, and kale chips  each day.  Toss in some grass-fed filets and burgers when we've got them on top of that.  My last brownie was 8 days ago.  But, I did go all out and eat whatever I wanted at the vine crawl potluck last Saturday.  No one is starving here.

I had been lying to myself that my body was collecting fat on my thighs, because it needed it for the milk.  My husband and I mused that grains and sugar might just be stored in the production of breast milk.  That when you eat grains and sugar while breastfeeding, it goes straight to your hips while it uses the fat, vitamins, and minerals to support breast milk production.  This is just a theory.  I would like to look into this.   

Anyhow, I am reporting in really because I found this great thing for dessert.  I picked it up at Yes! Organic Market this morning.  I would like something desserty, and coconut oil has really been doing it for me.  However, I wondered if I could melt some chocolate chips in it and if that would be enough.  Well, I found this packet.  It has coconut butter, coconut oil, cacao, cacao butter, and agave syrup.  I really could make this at home, but with trying to pound out a lasagna, kale chips, and a bunch of bone broth stews every week, I probably shouldn't push my luck.