Weighing In

News Flash: I can button my pants.  All right, we're getting somewhere.  I refused to size up.  That meant accepting that I was now this size.  Forget it!  I will wear my maternity clothes until I can get back into my jeans.  I could almost button them when I got that stomach flu over New Year's. Thankfully, I remembered to button them before the station meeting last Friday, as I got a surprise award, and as everyone turned to look at me, that would have been embarrassing.

Before I got pregnant, I weighed 150 lbs.  When I had Lily, I most likely weighed 190 lbs, but I didn't want to look.  The baby just needed to come out and when the baby came out, I would loose all the weight, right?  A good 10 lbs was gained in her being 10 days overdue.  Before I cut out the grains and sugars last week, I was back up to 180 to 185 lbs.  I couldn't button my pants.  Not even the size up I bought when Target didn't have any maternity pants.  I tore a really big hole in the crotch of my last pair while standing in Babies R Us trying to shop with Lily for the first time by myself.

I realized that there is a low weight and a high weight for every day, and as my body is doing many of the incredible things that it's doing, my weight greatly fluctuates.  I have been trying to weigh myself in the morning after Lily nurses and before I eat.  Today, my low weight was 176 lbs with my high at 180 lbs.  And, I am eating like a horse.  At least two salads, multiple servings of chicken and vegetable stew, a couple of spoonfuls of coconut oil, a huge piece of lasagna, a beer for breastmilk, eggs, and kale chips  each day.  Toss in some grass-fed filets and burgers when we've got them on top of that.  My last brownie was 8 days ago.  But, I did go all out and eat whatever I wanted at the vine crawl potluck last Saturday.  No one is starving here.

I had been lying to myself that my body was collecting fat on my thighs, because it needed it for the milk.  My husband and I mused that grains and sugar might just be stored in the production of breast milk.  That when you eat grains and sugar while breastfeeding, it goes straight to your hips while it uses the fat, vitamins, and minerals to support breast milk production.  This is just a theory.  I would like to look into this.   

Anyhow, I am reporting in really because I found this great thing for dessert.  I picked it up at Yes! Organic Market this morning.  I would like something desserty, and coconut oil has really been doing it for me.  However, I wondered if I could melt some chocolate chips in it and if that would be enough.  Well, I found this packet.  It has coconut butter, coconut oil, cacao, cacao butter, and agave syrup.  I really could make this at home, but with trying to pound out a lasagna, kale chips, and a bunch of bone broth stews every week, I probably shouldn't push my luck.