My Advice for Fussy Baby Car Trips

1. Travel during naps.  There was a period where we couldn't get her to sleep in the car, but that is because she wasn't tired enough and we had to drop a nap.  Now, she is awake for 3 to 4 hour at a time, and if we need to go somewhere and its nap time, we throw everything in the car and go.  But, this was a lot easier with the infant car seat and snap 'n go than it is with the convertible car seat.

2. Blast the air.  Lily gets really hot, and it's not always obvious how warm it is in the back.  So, if you have a warm baby, too.  Try blasting the air.  And, we also sort of dress her down so that she's not sweating in the car seat.

3. White noise.  We turn on the static on the radio and turn it up when it's nap time and she's having trouble falling asleep.  We also have a white noise track (Baby Got Colic) on the amazon mp3 player.  We use the colic track when we're transferring her from the car to the snap n go or to the house.  But, she's been sleeping so well lately that we haven't had to. 

4. Take the route with the least stop lights.  If I want her to nap, I take the route that has the most movement and the least stop lights.  The stop lights are killer!  Actually, it's not just when I want her to nap, it's all the time!

5. Travel in pairs, one person sitting in back.  If possible, Sean and I travel together.  I sit in the back.  This to sing to her, play with her, feed her distract her, etc.  Even though Kelly Mom doesn't condone this, I boob her in the car if nothing else works. 

6. Sing to her.  We've gotten though so many car rides by singing our hearts out.  Sean's aunt recorded me singing on her smartphone and played it back for Lily, which put her to sleep the other day. Very cool. We need to try that.

7. Teether toys.  In the beginning, we could hand her a teether toy and be good for a little bit.  But now, she's not really interested in teether toys.

8. Food.  We find a favorite food that she can hold onto, and when she starts freaking out (i.e. as soon as she's in the car seat), we hand it to her. This has been bacon, turkey jerky, and apple slices lately.  This doesn't always work.  But, if she's sleepy and I hand her something to suck on, she'll pass out more easily.  Some parents are worried about choking, but Lily is fine.  If she's having trouble, I will pull over and get in the back seat.  But, this has really allowed us to get around a lot easier, and especially with me and her by ourselves.

9. Other toys.  I would bring a bunch of things in the diaper bag and just hand her different things as she dropped them or got fussy.  This worked for a few car trips.

10. Toys that are not toys.  Lately, she isn't putting everything in her mouth.  So when I'm alone, I hand her lots of different things (a new thing every time she starts to cry), which gives me a few minutes.  My floss, library card, mail, keys, etc.  This is when we're kinda at the end of our rope, and she's done.  Sometimes, she's kinda covered in a pile of stuff, but it gets us home!  LOL.

11. Pull the shade back so she can see out.  And, I use the mirror to see the sun in her face, so that I can pull the shade back.  I sometimes have to toss a blanket over the carrier if the sun is really horrible.

12. Check the diaper.  Lily is one of those babies who cannot stand a wet diaper.  So, I check/change her before a car ride. 

13. Stop the car.  If she won't stop crying/melting down or go to sleep, I will stop the car to check her diaper and nurse her. 

14. Roll the windows down.  Lily loves the fan in the nursery, and she fell asleep three times on Friday because I rolled the windows down a little.

My Baby Isn't Like The Other Babies

My baby isn't like the other babies.  At the local moms group play date for babies born this year, Lily was fussing almost the entire time.  She's a very happy baby.  But, she knows what she wants to do and how to communicate that we're not doing what she wants to do.  She did not want to be at the play date.  When she woke up from her nap, for the second week in a row, we were in someone else's house.  She was happy for a few minutes.  Then, her demeanor very quickly changed to "MOM!  I don't want our big adventure today to be ANOTHER house! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"  She wasn't really interested in playing with her toys.  She didn't want to play with everyone else's toys.  She didn't really care to play the I'm-gonna-drop-it-and-you're-gonna-hold-me-while-I-pick-it-up-game.  However, an hour after she woke up, she did find a maraca that she was very interested in playing with like it was the best toy ever.  When that nostalgia wore off, I knew we had to go.  But, Mommy didn't want to go.  I wanted to stay and talk to the other mommies.  Hmph.

This is happening more and more.  She's over play dates with other babies.  She's over Busboys and Poets.  She's over Gymboree.  She's over Le Leche League.  She's over playing on her tummy.  Forget trying to go to a non-baby related event.  None of the other babies throw fits like my baby does.  I don't see any of the other moms constantly panicked with trying to appease their little prince or princess when we go to these things.  I looked around as we were leaving and everyone else was happy as a clam.

Despite the fact that it does take three of us here at home to manage and we're all still pretty exhausted, Lily has so many strengths.  She is charismatic.  Her smile and laugh are to die for.  She can eat like a champ.  She loves to go shopping.  She loves to dance.  She loves to sing and watch other people do all of these things.

We keep hoping that when we can communicate and understand each other better that this dynamic will change.   But, that's probably just more waiting for a change that isn't what we expect.  She'll probably be able to much better communicate that she's over it. 

Wonder Weeks Categories Leap

Happy at Silver Diner

This is the 37th week developmental leap that can start with fussiness as early as 33.5 weeks from estimated due date (not birth date).  According to this, Lily is at 36.5 weeks.  This is her entry into the world of categories. She is starting to figure out that a dog is not a cat, but that a picture of a cat, a real cat, and a painting of a cat are all still a cat.

Holy bleeping shit.  We went head first into a developmental leap this weekend.  I thought we were already in it, but that apparently was just our intense baby.  This weekend was our intense baby on crack:

1. She wants to be super close to us.  We cannot put her down at all.  Even less than before.  Not to pee.  Not to make breakfast.  Not to get out the boob.  However, there has been a couple of moments where she's been very happy just chilling on the boppy and playing with something we'd rather her not play with.

Lily playing with car keys (the only thing she wanted to do)

2. She is being very sweet.  She is still very smiley and happy.  Now, she puts her arms around us and puts her head on our shoulder.  This morning, she engaged in a group hug by putting her head on daddy's shoulder and then moving her head to mine.  Heart-melting changes.

3. She is very sure of what she does and does not want to do.  She does not want to be put down on the changing station in the restaurant.  When she's done with something, like being in the restaurant, she's done with it.  This as our brunch date friend found out on Saturday who quickly saw the state of us and got the check (friend to server:"Forget the food, we have to leave.  NOW!").  To my surprise, she very much loved standing in line at Silver Diner yesterday.  She met so many new people.  There was a video playing.  And, she could dance to the music.  She was clapping and hooting and hollering her joy.

4. She is more sure about what foods she does and does not like.  If she is done with it, it goes far, far away onto the floor.  I had to remake the egg I made this morning, because I thought she'd like to try it with cheese.  WRONG, Mommy.  I want it the way you've been making it forever, but I love to try other new things.  Thanks.

Morning Walk Negates Fussy Morning

So, despite my best efforts, Lily has been waking up at 5:30am.  It's like she's programmed to do this or that it's in her little baby wiring.  She loves to face front while doing everything now.  She won't let me just hold her, she has to have her back to me.  So, when pretty baby wanted to be involved in making breakfast, that became difficult.  I then have -2 hands and lots of eggs to crack without breaking the yokes.  Set baby down to put her in front facing carry with our Baby K'tan.  Nope, flopped over, now upset.  Try to get her in K'tan, but that's like getting dressed, so even more upset.  No carrier.  Have to try to make breakfast.  Can't set her down on floor.  Upset.  Can't put her in walker.  Upset.  Can't hand her to Dad.  Trying to leave for work.  So, we wind up breaking three yokes while trying to make breakfast.  Fail.

Take her upstairs to get dressed.  Put her in crib on her back to look at the mobile.  I go to pee.  Come back, and she's flopped over, smacking her head into the rail.  It wasn't bad, but already fussy baby couldn't handle that.  You know, if I hadn't taken that damn crib bumper off of there, then she wouldn't have bumped her head.  WTF.  I was just turning it inside out (whoever put it on the bed when we moved put it on backwards), and sorta thought that maybe I shouldn't put it back on since everyone's all up in arms about the possibility of suffocation.  But, the hell with that.  My kid just hit her head by rolling over.  That's all she did was roll over.

Well, now we're extra fussy, and it's only the middle of hour two.  We have an hour and a half to go before nap.  We should probably take a walk, but I want to save the walk for later.  Dance party!  But, she keeps almost going to sleep.  She can't fall asleep after two hours.  That would mean a third nap for later.  Or, a baby who is awake for 5-6 hours waiting for mommy to come home from work.  Boo. But, she was happy as a clam as soon as she hit the stroller.

In the middle of our walk, I said the hell with it, we're going to walk the half mile to Starbucks.  We came back to get a diaper, my wallet, and a bottle of water.  She's gonna need something to drink when she sees that I have a coffee.  I can't drink coffee at home.  Baby Lily doesn't let Mommy drink coffee.  While there, we meet 7 mo old baby E and her preschool brother M with their mom having coffee.  A great opportunity to connect with another mom, but it's hot in the store, and I have a fussy, high need baby.  And, we're stopped--we're not moving.  And, there are no cars in here.  Who knows how long Baby Lily can last.  She said "I'm sure I'll see you around."  Score, probably in the local moms group. We dash out the door and then we plant it so that we can sit outside and watch traffic.  Mommy cannot drink coffee and drive the stroller.  Learned that lesson the hard way (a few times).

Happy baby liked the long walk and watching traffic.  Mommy win.

Two Nap Update

And, we have a winner!  At least for a few days.  We dropped a nap last week, and it's been amazing.

1. It takes Lily 2 minutes to fall asleep.  This morning, it was seriously 1 minute.  The other day, she passed out in 10 seconds.  No more fighting for 40 minutes.  I don't know what in the world was wrong with me!

2. She is awake longer, so we can walk in the morning!  This has been great.  When we have about an hour or less left to the ideal nap time, or when Lily starts to get super fussy, we just put her and a toy in the stroller and head down the street.  She doesn't make a peep, because she's so busy taking in the sights and sounds.  Because of her nap schedule, my work schedule, and the weather, we hadn't really gotten to walk like I thought I would walk with my baby. 

3. She's gotten less cranky as she's gotten used to the new schedule.  Today was glorious.  We had so much fun.  I almost didn't think it was time to nap, but she nursed to sleep so quickly.

4. She's not constantly nursing.  She's got too much to do, so she's too busy to spend the morning buried in a boob.

5. We have been able to set her down longer during her sleep time.  We had to previously hold her constantly when she was sleeping.

Getting Ready for Solids

Lily is really showing an interest in food.  She is so excited about watching us eat and drink different things.  For the past several weeks, she's been nursing constantly, and it was mentioned that she'd start to sleep through the night a little more once she started solids, if we fed her solids before bedtime.  I thought I would try to breastfeed her exclusively for as long as possible, but I feel like I'm dying here some days.  I was really gunning to start them this week, but she's only 5.5 months old.  She has 2.5 weeks to go before the recommended 6 months.  A recent news article on starting solids too early made us rethink jumping the gun. 

There is a lot of contradicting advice out there. It was said not to start solids before 4 months.  Doctors have been known to recommend rice cereal or other foods for combating different situations to babies younger than 4 months.  The main difference in the advice we considered on a quick-and-dirty, desperate internet search was sitting supported versus unsupported.  Babycenter.com suggested a baby was ready for solids when he/she had good head control and could sit up well while supported.  Kellymom.com said that a baby should be able to sit up well without support. 

The checklist from Kellymom.com: 

• Baby can sit up well without support.
• Baby has lost the tongue-thrust reflex and does not automatically push solids out of his mouth with his tongue.
• Baby is ready and willing to chew.
• Baby is developing a “pincer” grasp, where he picks up food or other objects between thumb and forefinger. Using the fingers and scraping the food into the palm of the hand (palmar grasp) does not substitute for pincer grasp development.
• Baby is eager to participate in mealtime and may try to grab food and put it in his mouth.

Lily is definitely NOT sitting up well without support.  She's very good with support, and she is getting better at sitting up on her own.  I have watched her start to really loose the tongue-thrust reflex, but I think this might still be there a little bit.  She is certainly experimenting with her ability to chew.  She chews on our fingers, on teethers, on clothes, and on my nipple!  She is not using her pincer grasp, but I wouldn't count her out of solids if she was working on this.  She is most certainly curious about mealtime, and she really enjoys watching us eat.  I do expect her to start trying to grab for food and put it into her mouth.  We keep hot things away from her, but is is grabbing for cups and bottles.

In reading about why it's good to wait, the reasons that jumped out at us were:

1. Possibility that her digestive tract isn't ready to handle them.  We won't know when exactly Lily's body is ready for something other than breastmilk, so the recommended 6 month marker is meant to ensure that a baby is ready. 
2. Increased potential of developing food-related allergies.  We've seen how these can affect a person, so it would be great if we could spare Lily from that experience.
3. Increased opportunities for illness once solids start.  One of the main reasons I was so gung-ho to breastfeed was to prevent illness as long as possible.  So, that's one of the reasons to delay solids now.

Wonder Weeks

 Some moms on the Baby Center attachment parenting board commented about "wonder weeks" and after looking into it, it sounded like something that would help us through our little ones fussy times. There is a Wonder Weeks book, a Wonder Weeks app, and a Wonder Weeks website.  I downloaded the app and previewed the book on Kindle before deciding to buy.  After getting mega attached to "Super Baby" and then finding that I really disagreed with some of the things it suggested, I'm reluctant to assume that any one person has any answers or believe that any concepts in one person's book is true or will apply to us.  So far, the biggest lessons from "Wonder Weeks" is that little one will be super fussy, cranky, and have mood swings for a few weeks.  She will be more clingy and have some trouble sleeping.  And, this is just a phase, which will also pass.  Oh, and it's nothing that we've done to cause her this distress; this is just a necessary part of growing up.  We recognize these frustrating periods.  This especially when you just want to give this little, precious baby anything she needs, but you can't figure out what she needs.

 developmental periods chart
from the android app

She's going into the period where she learns about events.  This is where she puts together several smooth transitions to become an event.  An event is something like putting something in her mouth, understanding a bouncing ball, or being able to pass something from one hand to another.  This is a precursor to being able to roll over and crawl.

Anyhow, we're just taking it one day at a time, holding her super tight, and excited for the new skills she's developing right before our eyes.  It's amazing how she is about the same size for awhile, and then all of a sudden, she just looks bigger and her clothes are tighter.  It is also amazing how one day she doesn't know what to do with her hands, and then the next day, she's got her thumb in her mouth and she can put her hands together.  Wow!  She holds my hand as she falls asleep, and it's my favorite thing.