Weaning

I weaned 16 days ago, but I'm still making milk.  That's absurd.  Just saying.  That's incredible based on everything we've been told about breastfeeding in these pro-breastfeeding venues.  But, it's absurd, because every misstep was agony for everyone.  I analyzed what I could have done wrong, and just beat myself up for it.  But, in reality, we just produce what we produce, and that's the end of story.  This whole producing milk for 3 weeks after just affirms a thought I had about too much pro-breastfeeding propaganda.  But, it has to be that way, because it takes a convinced woman a lot of dedication to successfully breastfeed against all odds. 

We've been doing good.  Her mood has definitely evened out to where I know when she's upset over life versus boob.  But, I can't get her to sleep with a bottle in the bed no matter what I do or how long I wait.  She'll sleep for me in the stroller or in the car.  More work to be done. 

Too cute a baby, though.  Our relationship post weaning is much better.

Long-Term Side-Lying Night Nursing

I belong to a very distraught and tired segment of the nursing mother population: the long-term, side-lying, night nursing group.   Code word: Human Pacifier.  Let me tell you a little bit about how we got here.  In learning about breastfeeding, one of the common things told to new moms is to not give babies a pacifier.  That a baby who gets attached to a pacifier might suck on it instead of nursing, which could lead to many issues, including a decreased milk supply.  Very determined to get an 'A' in Breastfeeding 101, we didn't really offer the pacifer to Lily save the car or when I returned to work at 5 weeks.  Who knows, with her personality, she probably wouldn't have ever taken it anyway, but of course on the worst days I'm going to sit here and go, "Why the bleep did I think that was a good idea?!"  Because, mixed with cosleeping and nursing on demand, I am now the pacifier.  

snuggling with mama!

Sometimes, it's sweet and wonderful.  I love to cuddle with her.  I love to snuggle and stroke her head.  She is now putting her little leg up on top of mine.  

But, there are a few other problems with this long-term, side-lying, night nursing.  I am laying in the bed with her for hours.  I can't move.  I have a hard time getting comfortable.  For months, I had debilitating hip pain, because once her legs got too long, I couldn't curl up comfortably next to her.  Sure, everyone says to use the pillows to support you, but that only goes so far.  Here are some things that I've been working on:

• I sometimes switch sides in the middle of the night or work on the top boob to give my hip some variety. 
• I try to get my bottom hip out from under my top hip. If my back is leaning out, which it easily does, I need to get that bottom hip away from the baby, so that I am leaning in a little. So I am laying more on the front of my hip than my side. It's hard and I feel like I'm constantly trying to wiggle it out. And, I loose the position while sleeping, so it still hurts a little bit, though not nearly as much as it did before. 
• I tried for awhile to wait until the baby fell asleep and unlatch, but my rolling around would wake her up and she would need another boob and we'd be right back where we were and I'd just go to sleep. Sometimes, I am successful.

  

  sleeping with her legs on top of mine
  

•  We transitioned her to a toddler bed on the floor at 11 months thinking that the rolling around was waking her up, but we found that it's just HER waking up wanting a boob. Grrr.
• Trying to feed her more during the day, and this girl eats like a champ, so that's not the problem.  Still trying to get her to eat more.
• Dr. Sears says for the long term side lying night nursers that we should seek out other people who are doing what we are doing, because most people don't understand and will likely say to just wean, stop cosleeping, let her cry or something.

Now, she likes to put her feet on me to snuggle and thati's causing a lot of back pain!  I can't win. But, she's so comfortable. If I give her the other leg, her leg is up too high to be comfortable, but she will sleep with her leg up there anyway! Crazy baby. I don't think we're ever going to be able to night wean.  

What I Will Remember About Breastfeeding

Now, I have done a lot of bitching about breastfeeding. Wah! It is hard. Wah! I don't like being a human pacifier. Wah! I hate pumping. But, as we have gotten into a groove where it doesn't hurt, I don't spend all my time pumping, I don't feel trapped under a baby all day, I'm not stuck in bed all night, and I actually get 10 minutes to myself every now and then, I am really enjoying this.  

I cannot wait to get home and wrap my arms around this beautiful little baby girl and nurse her to sleep.  We curl up in a big blue chair in her room.  Sure, some days the sweat really rolls off her head and down my arm.  But, we keep a fan close to keep us cool.  Trying not to miss anything, she will often stand up and put her face in the fan to look out the window.  It is almost as if she's on the open sea and putting her face out to see what lies ahead on our adventure.  But, on a night like tonight, she won't even pop off for a second.  I love to watch her get comfortable and her eyes slowly close and then open as she can no longer fight the sleep trying to overtake her.  Her little hand reaches up for the sky.  It touches my shirt, reaches for my face.  I pretend-nibble on her finger tips.  She lets me stroke her head and rub her back..  I love squeezing her chunky little thigh, my trophy of a job well done, as moms are often made to feel incapable when it comes to their child thriving.  I am going to remember the way she melts into me. Her breath on my skin. Her eye lashes, which sometimes have wet remnants of how long she waited for this moment, too. 

Eventually, we make our way into the bedroom and I try to slink in the bed.  There is a sweet spot when I can lay Lily down and she doesn't wake at all.  Most of the time, she roots for a boob again.  I used to try to get away as fast as possible, in fear that I would spend all evening in the bed.  Now, I don't mind that she nurses a little bit more.  We curl around each other and cuddle in bed.  I get to touch her head, squeeze her thigh, and caress her back some more.  Sometimes, a little hand shoots out and sweetly grabs my hand, moving it far away from her body.  Mom, I'm trying to sleep!  Eventually, she is so far gone into sleepy land that I can sneak my nipple out of her mouth without her noticing.  I will remember the way her lips continue to suckle the air in her sleep.  I get out of the bed, put the pillows around her, turn the monitor on, and sneak downstairs to do adult stuff.  But, if she doesn't let me get out of the room, I enjoy the few extra minutes I get to snuggle with her.

I am going to remember the resounding sadness I felt for several weeks after K1 stopped pumping and left me alone in the pump room.  Goodness, that was only a month ago.  It feels like six months have passed.  I didn't realize until I walked into the room that first time it was now just me that I would be so affected by that fact.  I didn't realize how much I relied on the knowledge that several of us where going through this together.

Mother's Rooms

I wish that more stores would dedicate decent space for mother's rooms.  It is a huge effort to get us from one place to another, and the trip is sometimes a little traumatizing for both of us.  I really appreciate it when there is a space where I can nurse Lily, change her diaper, and let us rest for a bit before heading out again.  When a store has a decent mother's room, I know that if I can just get to the store, it will be okay.

Since the trend is for most people to have kids, and since moms are in the target shopping audience for advertisers, I think it would be very beneficial for more large stores to include them.  If I knew for sure that if I just could get to the store, that there was a place where I could comfortably feed her, change her diaper, and chill out for a moment, I would make the trip to a lot more stores.  I would spend a lot more money at a lot more retailers.

On a recent adventure to Target, the changing station was in the doorway and next to the hand dryer.  Hand dryers scare Lily right now.  We walked to the store, and we eventually needed a place to nurse before heading back.  We found a spot in a small, semi-crowded food court area of the store.

Ikea is always a good place to go.  Not only are there many places to stop and sit (displays) along the route, but they have a mother's room, too.  It has two changing tables, some kids toys, two comfy chairs, and it's own restroom.  So, you can pull your stroller in and use the restroom.  Or, older kids  can take turns using the restroom and sitting in comfy chairs while you change a diaper. 

The best mother's room was at Babies 'R Us in Seven Corners, VA.  There is a couch, coffee table, two rockers, and two foot rests.  There is also a changing table.  There's plenty of space for 5ish moms to be the room without stepping on each other.  I spent considerably more time at this Babies 'R Us, and it really set the bar for me.  Having this space has made all the difference for us.  When we're freaking out about the trip to the store, we can just take as long as we need to regroup before shopping or before heading out on the road again. 

I think it was the Buy Buy Baby in Springfield, VA that has a comfortable spot, but the space isn't well set up and the changing station is across the store in the bathroom.

Mother's Room at Buy Buy Baby in Rockville, MD

The worst mother's room I have seen was at the Buy Buy Baby in Rockville, MD.  They converted a dressing room into a nursing room.  There were two comfy chairs, no foot rests, and I could put my feet on the wall if I wanted to.  There were several signs on the walls that said not to change diapers in the mother's room, that diapers were to be changed in the restroom.  The restroom was on the other side of the store, and it was just a standard restroom.  It had one of those changing stations that was attached to the wall.  I hate those things.  Lily hates those things.

On our adventures, I have really appreciated when there is an actual changing table available, opposed to just a changing station attached to a wall.  Not all the changing stations are as stable now as they probably were when they were first installed.  When there is a changing table, there is usually a place near it to place the diaper bag.  Often, I have to juggle the diaper bag and the baby, as I don't want to set the bag on a bathroom floor.  The changing stations are at different heights, and some of them come out of the wall horizontal, while others are vertical.  Many of them are awkward, and Lily sometimes freaks out when placed on them.  The idea that a mom would grab tissue paper to have a clean surface is long gone.  I have never seen any sheets in any of those things.  And, most of the safety belts are broken.  So many people have so many kids, I cannot believe that this is what we're left with.  Though, I sometimes feel lucky that there is even a place to change her diaper.  And, we're always happy to find one of them in the men's restroom, since Daddy is on diaper duty.  It is frustrating for me to almost always have to be the one to change her diaper in public, because I'm the parent that feeds and naps her, too.

June Le Leche League Journey

Lily and I were taking a walk yesterday at 9:02am when I realized that it was the third Wednesday of the month.  Shoot.  That meant in 58 minutes, the only Le Leche League (LLL) meeting that I could make would be starting.  I suppose I could peg my 2nd broken phone in a month as the root of my almost missing this meeting again.  My phone is my window to the world since breastfeeding began.

Right now, I need to connect with other women who are in the long haul with night nursing.  Dr. Sears' "The Baby Sleep Book" mentioned that for those of us "in it", we would find help by connecting with other women "in it", too.  I want to talk to the other human pacifiers in the world.  The other women who feel like they are attached to a sleeping baby for 10-12 hours a day.  The other women whose back and hips hurt, but whose babies are very well rested and happy.  The other women who are trying to figure out how you get this top boob in the baby's mouth (they say you're supposed to be able to do it!).  The other women who just want to run away screaming, "Get off me for just five minutes!"  This so I can just brush my teeth.  Those who struggle to keep the chores did in a way that other mothers whose babies now sleep through the night probably no longer remember.

I zoom us home, throw some diapers in a bag, put on my work clothes, and run us to the store to pick up the lunches I now won't have time to get later.  Lily loves the store.  It's one of her favorite places.  She's so tired, I am sure that she's so tired that she will pass out in the car.  It's just a 15 minute drive.  She can pass out, and then I can walk her in while using the snap-and-go.  Best invention ever.  But, there is this cruel stoplight game.  Every time she gets asleep, we have to stop before she can seal the deal.  This makes for a very unhappy Bean.  No problem.  We can just nap when we get to the meeting.  She's slept through several LLL meetings when we were in Virginia.  Great plan.  We got this.

The LLL leader of this chapter mentions that with a near 8-month old, I am an experienced breastfeeder.  Who?  Me?  Really?  She says yes, I have more experience than anyone in the room, save her (LLL leaders have to breastfeed for a year minimum).  No way.  I am not experienced.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  But, Lily was the oldest baby there.  A two-week old preemie and a 5 day old baby have nothing on Lily.  Even as the older babies trickled in, Lily was still the oldest baby there.  Me?  Experienced?  That was a pretty cool thought. Yeah, I guess I did get this far.  Huh.  Whodathunk after the crazy crap that went on in the beginning.

The ice breaker question was "What was unexpected about breastfeeding."  I said that I did not expect it to be hard.  I glanced over at the pregnant lady in the room. What?  She needs to hear it from someone.  I wish I had known how hard it could be.  I expected my baby to come out of the womb and just latch like she instinctively knew how to do.  I didn't expect this birth trauma to set us back.  I didn't realize that I knew nothing about breastfeeding.  That I could know nothing about breastfeeding until this little baby was in my arms.  That every woman has a different experience with every baby.  That this might have been my easy breastfeeding baby.  I was glad that I had sought out LLL before giving birth, because I knew exactly who to contact when I had problems.  I wouldn't have written anyone, because I was shy like that.  Before I had a baby, I wouldn't have wanted to bother anyone.

At the meeting, Lily is soooooo excited to meet new people that she won't go to sleep.  She doesn't want to miss anything.  She is so distracted.  So, she's doing acrobatics off of me the entire time.  Sleepy baby is a MONKEY.  As she has gotten older, we've realized that Monkey Baby is a new tired sign.  She wants up.  She wants down.  She wants over here.  She wants over there.  She wants to play with this.  No that.  No nothing.  Wants a boob.  Doesn't want a boob.  Wants down.  Wants her toes.  Wants up.  Smiles at everyone.  Happy.  Sad.  Boob. Down. Up.  OMG, I think we're going to have to leave this thing early.  She is not going to nap.

You there.  You with the 5 day old baby.  You said you are jealous of how easily she latches?  Trying nursing a swinging baby.  I didn't say singing.  I said a baby who wants to swing.  Oops, I realize at some point, both boobs are out.  I can't keep up with this kid.

The stoplights foil us on the way home. Damn stoplights.  Construction.  No nap.

I realize on the way home that I didn't make a point to mention why I was there.  The issues of mommies with newborns trumps my desire to connect.  Who knows when I'll be able to go back.  This dropping a nap thing means she could be napping between 8:30am and 11:00am. This day, it should have been 10:00am.  But, as I write this blog, Lily has been napping from 8:20am to 10:13am.  I wrote the LLL leader a follow up email.  Maybe I'll post on some listservs about finding other night nursing moms.  Oh no, another coffee-type playgroup thing.  I don't want to start another group.  I just want to have coffee.

But, this whole thing might be defunct by discovering that we were putting her to bed too early.  However, last night, she nursed a lot.  I didn't sneak away until after 11pm, and then I was too tired to do anything.  It's like breaking my sleep cycle.  But, you can't choose when your free time happens.  We will see.

Hand Sign Without Prompting

hand sign for milk

I have been having trouble getting her to nurse before I leave for work.  But, then we started dancing to music before I leave for work.  She loves dancing. She was just squealing and giggling away.  When she got tired, she did the milk hand sign without being prompted.  She did it on her own, telling me she wanted to nurse!!!  This not long after she just repeated the hand sign back to us for the first time.   But, she has now started to do the milk hand sign to tell us she wants milk.

Cutting Back on Grains and Sugar

This because I am endlessly starving and my solution was to eat cookies.  And, muffins.  And, brownies.  Yummy.  So, even though breastfeeding is said to make the pounds melt off, my weight had started to creep up and up again.  I was nearing what I weighed when Lily was born.  The advice given by other women in the same situation was to cut out the grains and sugar.  Forget that!

Eventually, I got a cavity (from all the nights of choosing to fall asleep with the baby instead of uncomfortably making time to brush multiple times per day) and decided that while I was waiting for my appointment, I was going to try to heal my tooth a little.  That would require me to stop feeding the bacteria with grains, sugar, and starches.  This as well as reinstating a couple of supplements and foods into my diet, such as vitamin D and bone broth.

So, I stopped eating as much grain and sugar at the beginning of the week.  The weight has already started to come off a little bit, which is good.  We don't want it to come off too fast while breastfeeding, as I've read that can lead to toxins entering the breastmilk.  I am still grumbling about not getting to eat that brownie I really want.  Grumble.  Grumble.  Grumble.  I had the idea today to look up some paleo recipes for desserts, because those should be low in sugar and made with whole foods. 

An unintended effect of cutting back on the grains and sugar is that inflammation in my hip aggrivated by cosleeping has completely disappeared.

It's better that I don't eat as much grain.  It's so difficult to get non-GMO corn anymore, and wheat is up there with GMO junk.  And, I was kidding myself that cane sugar was good for me.  In reality, ODing on sugar in any form isn't good.  While it's better than HFCS, I've read studies that found that lots of cane sugar can also lead to long term health problems.

And Today, I Love Breastfeeding

For a change, I love breastfeeding.  Today.  I get to look down at her sweet face and listen to her breathe as she sleeps.  I sometimes can't help but brush her sleeping face or caress her little fingers. Her baby wrists are eclipsed by the fat on her hands and arms.  I often hold one of her chubby thighs in my hand, a trophy of a "boob job" well done.  I'd tickle her feet, but that would wake her up.  But, I still think about it.  If she's awake, she sees me smile at her and she smiles, too.  I start giggling at her smiling, and then she's laughing at my giggling, so I chuckle some more.  Today, the milk ran down the side of her face when she laughed at me.  That's something that hasn't happened in awhile.  I feel so connected to her right now.  I always feel so much love for her, but enjoying this for a few moments makes me so proud.  I can never get upstairs fast enough when she wakes up, and it is so obvious that she needs this connection, too.  As I write this, I just want to run back upstairs and crawl into bed with her.  I cannot stand to be away.

I don't always enjoy breastfeeding.  It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I will cherish moments like these always.  People tell me that they grow up so fast, and I don't want it to be so.  I cannot wait until this part is over, but I don't want it to be done.

Lactation Cookies

I have what is sometimes an insatiable hunger.  I also crave something sweet every day.  Sometimes, I push it a little too far without eating, and I start to get light-headed.  That is, if I don't eat 3,000 calories per day, I start to get sick.  It makes it hard to loose any baby weight while my body is trying to be a breast milk machine.  Some days, I struggle against it and some days I give in.  Regardless, since I struggled so much with my pumping output in the beginning, I decided that if I was going to eat junk food, it might as well be organic, whole junk food that theoretically helped my milk supply.  So, even though I don't believe these help me all that much, I still bake and eat them each week.  What helps each persons milk supply is different, and while I don't think they had an effect on me, someone else will say that they blew them away.  They do taste yummy.  I started with this recipe here.

And, when the hell do I have time to actually bake cookies?  Well, there is sometimes an hour or so around midnight once a week when Lily is passed the bleep out. 

1. Mix in a bowl:

• 1 1/2 c. organic stone ground whole wheat flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1 tsp organic cinnamon 

2. Beat until creamy:

• 3/4 c. organic peanut butter
• 1/2 c. organic pastured butter, softened
• 1/2 c. cane sugar
• 1/2 c. turbinado sugar
• 2 tsp organic, fair-trade vanilla
• 1 c. ground flax meal
• 3 T brewer's yeast
• 1/3 c. water

 3. Then add in eggs, chocolate chips, and oats in that order.

• 2 large organic cage free eggs
• 2 c. (12oz) organic, fair-trade chocolate chips
• 1 3/4 c. organic steel cut oats

4. Place balls of dough onto greased baking sheets or baking stones and press down each ball lightly with a fork. Bake 17 minutes at 350 degrees.

Balanced Baby Parenting

During my pregnancy, I was getting ready to have and raise a baby.  I was reading, researching, and making all of these decisions on how Lily would be raised and what kind of parent I wanted to be.  I heard that if you do what makes the baby happy all of the time, you won't have happy parents and that if you do what makes the parents happy all of the time, you won't have a happy baby.  I didn't believe it.  I was determined to do whatever I needed to do to make the baby happy and assumed that I could be happy, too.  I soon realized that even though I scoffed at the Time Magazine cover of extended nursing, that I did subscribe to attachment parenting.

While Attachment Parenting International describes parenting in different terms, Dr. Sears talks about attachment-style parenting in regards to believing in baby cues, baby wearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, and not baby training.  The idea being that a stronger bond means a happier child later in life.  Some parents make sort of opposite choices for one reason or another to sleep train, use formula, put their child down for an extended period of time, get babies on a schedule, etc. Sometimes, it's not really a choice, but a necessity of the family situation.  Things often get heated in online mommy discussions between folks when talking about the different parenting choices. Even though I am sticking with my intense choice to be an attached parent, I don't feel it's productive to judge parents who make different decisions.  We are all just trying to balance happy parent and happy baby, trying to make the decisions that we feel are best for our families.

I very much so thought that when I got around to writing about parenting that it would be about a wonderful attachment parenting life.  I didn't realize how hard it would be!  Our attachment ways have lead to a happy baby who hardly ever cries, who is gaining lots of weight, and we all generally sleep well at night. I didn't understand why some very loving parents would make different decisions about how to raise their children.  But, I get it now.  Our culture has made a job for two people what was meant a job for ten.  These babies need more than one set of boobs. While we do have a happy baby, it has come with some challenges:

	Positives	Challenges
Nursing on demand	happy baby, keep milk supply up, delay menstrual cycle	constantly breastfeeding during the first 4 months, nursing to sleep for 12 hours a day
Cosleeping	always near Lily when she needs us, can sleep while nursing her back to sleep, minimize time awake at night	pain in hips from side-lying too long, nursing baby to sleep for 12 hours a day, wake up baby when we toss and turn at night (when one of us isn't sleeping well, none of us sleep well)
Breastfeeding	baby gets specialized nutrition, better immune system for baby, less sickness for baby, decrease cancers for mom	pumping is a bitch, having to pump at work and all hours of the night, only I can really comfort her and put her to sleep
Babywearing	happy baby when wants to be held, can do some things around the house, can take baby more places without feeling like we have to drag out a stroller	Holding her for naps if she wants to be held, baby needs to be on the floor or playing with toys on her own at times to learn necessary skills and exercise
Belief in baby cues	happy baby, can figure out what she is trying to communicate before she starts crying, less crying means less sickness	there are some months where I don't know if we'll ever be allowed to leave the house again
Beware baby trainers	happy baby, work at developing skills before they become bad habits to break, do what the baby wants	wondering if those parents who do sleep train and do schedules are happier than we are right now

Regardless of all of the challenges that being an attached parent brings, I can't imagine raising Lily any other way.   She is certainly a happy baby because we try to meet all or her needs as quickly as we can.  There are things that we are doing and we need to do more of that can balance out these challenges and make for happy parents:

• Now that she's older, I am setting aside time to work out.
• Now that it's warmer in the morning, we are taking more and more walks.
• Now that I'm not worried about my milk supply, we're scheduling more and more date afternoons where it's okay for grandma to give the baby a bottle.
• Now that we're traveling well, I'm looking for more classes, activities, and opportunities to show Lily new things.
• When she's less sensitive, I try to nurse AND do something else, like scrapbook or read.  She's only let me do that a few times.  She often gets upset if I'm not paying attention to her while she's nursing.
• Decide to say YES to activities we have been saying no to, such as a birthday bonfire and a trip to the winery with the girls.

Getting Ready for Solids

Lily is really showing an interest in food.  She is so excited about watching us eat and drink different things.  For the past several weeks, she's been nursing constantly, and it was mentioned that she'd start to sleep through the night a little more once she started solids, if we fed her solids before bedtime.  I thought I would try to breastfeed her exclusively for as long as possible, but I feel like I'm dying here some days.  I was really gunning to start them this week, but she's only 5.5 months old.  She has 2.5 weeks to go before the recommended 6 months.  A recent news article on starting solids too early made us rethink jumping the gun. 

There is a lot of contradicting advice out there. It was said not to start solids before 4 months.  Doctors have been known to recommend rice cereal or other foods for combating different situations to babies younger than 4 months.  The main difference in the advice we considered on a quick-and-dirty, desperate internet search was sitting supported versus unsupported.  Babycenter.com suggested a baby was ready for solids when he/she had good head control and could sit up well while supported.  Kellymom.com said that a baby should be able to sit up well without support. 

The checklist from Kellymom.com: 

• Baby can sit up well without support.
• Baby has lost the tongue-thrust reflex and does not automatically push solids out of his mouth with his tongue.
• Baby is ready and willing to chew.
• Baby is developing a “pincer” grasp, where he picks up food or other objects between thumb and forefinger. Using the fingers and scraping the food into the palm of the hand (palmar grasp) does not substitute for pincer grasp development.
• Baby is eager to participate in mealtime and may try to grab food and put it in his mouth.

Lily is definitely NOT sitting up well without support.  She's very good with support, and she is getting better at sitting up on her own.  I have watched her start to really loose the tongue-thrust reflex, but I think this might still be there a little bit.  She is certainly experimenting with her ability to chew.  She chews on our fingers, on teethers, on clothes, and on my nipple!  She is not using her pincer grasp, but I wouldn't count her out of solids if she was working on this.  She is most certainly curious about mealtime, and she really enjoys watching us eat.  I do expect her to start trying to grab for food and put it into her mouth.  We keep hot things away from her, but is is grabbing for cups and bottles.

In reading about why it's good to wait, the reasons that jumped out at us were:

1. Possibility that her digestive tract isn't ready to handle them.  We won't know when exactly Lily's body is ready for something other than breastmilk, so the recommended 6 month marker is meant to ensure that a baby is ready. 
2. Increased potential of developing food-related allergies.  We've seen how these can affect a person, so it would be great if we could spare Lily from that experience.
3. Increased opportunities for illness once solids start.  One of the main reasons I was so gung-ho to breastfeed was to prevent illness as long as possible.  So, that's one of the reasons to delay solids now.

Flax Seasoning for Lactation Support

In the search to find an all-purpose seasoning that didn't contain herbs to which I am allergic or herbs that decrease milk supply, Daddy brought home some of this all-purpose flax seasoning.  Much to our surprise, it actually contains several ingredients that are said to INCREASE milk supply, such as carrot, garlic, marjoram, basil, and flax seed.  So now, we put a little bit of this on everything.  On my eggs in the morning, on my pasta, on my chicken, etc.  Hell yes.  What a great accidental find.  Take that you bleeping oregano!

Ingredients:  Garlic*, Flax Seeds*, Black Pepper*, Onion*, Basil*, Chili Pepper*, Cumin Seeds*, Carrot*, Marjoram*, Rosemary*, Thyme*, Green Onion*

*Organic ingredients

Increasing Pumping Output

I returned to work 10-ish weeks ago.  The first day at work, I pumped every chance I had, even though I assumed that I'd produce in those 9 hours what she ate while I was gone.  I was shocked when I only pumped 5 ounces of milk during my work day.  I estimated that Lily would eat 9 oz.  So, I started pumping around the clock.  Some days that week, I left for work knowing that I didn't have enough milk to leave for my baby girl.  Now, she's eating around 12 oz per day, and I've gotten myself up to pumping 8 oz at work. 

Pumping output is not at all an indicator of how much milk someone is producing.  Babies get out way more milk than a pump can.  The average woman can only pump from 1/2 to 2 oz total per pumping session.  Any more, and a woman is considered to be over producing.  But, that means that to meet the needs of a baby eating 12 oz, a woman needs to pump 6 to 24 times per day. Egads!

I don't need to increase my milk supply.  Baby is gaining well and has good diaper output.  However, it is exhausting pumping 7 to 8 times per day for 15 to 20 minutes each time.  From set up to clean up, I spend around 4 hours pumping!  This is done 5 days a week, and then I still pump on the weekends.  Like most women who pump at work, I need to increase my pumping output for my sanity.  It's common for women to try to increase their pumping output so that every day isn't a fight to provide milk for the baby.  So that maybe in a couple of months, there might be one day where we could relax.  Or, maybe so that we aren't spending every meeting or work moment thinking about how the heck we're going to get out of here to pump. 

There are so many galactagogues to try, and since some of them can take a few weeks to have any noticable effect, it's common for women to take a handful while not knowing what is working and what is not working.  Different methods yield different results in different women.  Here's what I've done to increase my pumping output:

1. Remove as much milk as possible.  I pump 7 to 8 times each day.  From what I've read, women should pump for at least 10 minutes, but really from 15 to 20 minutes if you're trying to increase your pumping output.  And, make sure to pump 2 to 5 minutes after the end of your last let down, because that puts in the request to your body to make more milk.  I also read that it is better to pump more times for shorter periods than to pump less times for longer. 

2. Use a hospital grade pump and get the best flange size for you. 

3. Apply pressure during a let down.  I squeeze my breasts a little during a let down, which makes more milk come out.  More milk out means that your body will make more milk.

4. Pumping when I will get the most milk. My first weekend after going back to work, I tried to pump during or after every feeding to build up a stash for Monday.  That left me sore, frustrated, and without very much of a milk cache in the fridge. Pumping during or after every feeding will help increase milk supply.  But, it was not something I could keep up with every day.  So, if I was going to pump 7-8 times per day, I was going to pump when I'd get the most milk.  I pump as much as possible at work.  I pump one breast while feeding when I wake up, one breast while feeding two times overnight, and I pump both breasts if she is down for a long nap.

5. Watching food and water intake.  It is common for women to produce less when they eat and drink less.  I am the opposite.  I have been drinking a lot of tea and was trying to get 60+ oz of water on top of that.  Well, I got very sick at the end of December, and I noticed that I could pump more milk when I wasn't drinking much water.  We think a hormonal imbalance causes me to produce LESS milk when I drink MORE water.  Oxytocin, one of the hormones involved in milk production, is also involved in the transportation of salt.  We think that more water drowns out something in this process, so I am also trying to consume something with electrolytes in them everyday in hopes that maybe this helps.

6. Power pump.  This is where you pump for 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off for an hour.  Some women do 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for two hours.  This can be done a few days in a row to stimulate milk production.  I do this if Lily is down for a LONG sleep and I can be home and up and moving around, which is once in awhile.

7. Avoiding herbs that decrease milk production.  I discovered that I was consuming a lot of foods everyday that were made with herbs that decrease milk production.  My lasagna and the pizza I would eat for lunch, while organic, still contained a lot of oregano and parsley.  My prenatal vitamin, which I heard was still a good idea to take while breastfeeding, contained lemon balm and peppermint.  I chowed down on a candy bar one weekend that had a lot of peppermint in it.  I learned to be careful about what I was eating to make sure that it wasn't going to work against me.

8. Taking supplemental herbs that increase milk production.  There are many options available, so I would suggest doing a google search for herbs that increase milk supply.  I was taking fenugreek in capsule form for a few weeks, and while I saw a major increase in my milk output, it started to give Lily green diarrhea, so I stopped taking it.  I am now taking blessed thistle: in capsule form and a goat's rue tincture.

9. Cooking with herbs that increase milk production.  We're trying to use basil, marjoram, tumeric, and fennel seed in our cooking.

10. Drinking teas that increase milk production. I am currently brewing mother's milk tea, nettle tea, and I'm going to throw some alfalfa tea in the rotation or mix it with nettle.

11. Eating foods that increase milk production.  Oats/oatmeal is said to increase milk production.  Some women do well on lactation cookies.  A coworker shared an oatmeal bake that I like.  Hops is another substance that increases milk production.  We've been drinking some hoppy beer to help boost my milk output, too.

Cross-Nursing

For any woman breastfeeding a baby, it is apparent at times that two moms would be much better than one for the sake of sanity. After reading a mention somewhere about how there were usually several lactating women in an extended family that could care for a baby, I had a thought. What if humans were supposed to cross nurse by design, and what if a component of our immunity was missing as a result?  Me being a crazy hippie, it was just an interesting thought.

The Le Leche League advises against cross-nursing for several reasons.  These include supply issues for the mother, disease concerns, and  psychological risks.  While they are things to keep in mind, I don't agree that cross-nursing should be struck out all together.  In exploring cross nursing, I was surprised that there were many women on the internet practicing it on a quick google search.  I wouldn't just run off and arrange for someone else to nurse my baby, but I was also thinking that wouldn't it be better for Lily if someone else nursed her while I was at work?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I haven't fully processed this idea yet. 

One women speaks of why she cross-nurses:

The benefits of co-nursing and milk-sharing are unending. What are the benefits of breastfeeding? Those are the benefits of co-nursing and milk-sharing. An added benefit is Community. Yes, I feel a great sense of pride in knowing I'm helping families who are dedicated to breastfeeding thrive. But, most importantly, I feel ever connected to my community knowing that if I were ever unable to nurse my baby there is a network of other mamas who would be there for me in my time of need. It's an indescribable feeling but one that drives me to continue to co-nurse and milk-share as much as possible.

From the Mommy Files: 

When Sarah is at work or running errands, Morgan steps in to breast-feed her best friend’s son. Morgan initially nursed her friend’s son when he was three months old. She was caring for him, and he was fussy and inconsolable. When she put him to her breast, he was immediately happy and relaxed. Sarah says she would be comfortable feeding Morgan’s son but when she has tried he refuses.

Pumping Sucks

Pumping sucks.  Pumping really sucks.  For those moms who want to make sure that they feed their baby the best food for them (i.e. breastmilk), pumping is the way of life.  It is a bitch.  But, I will do it to the end of the earth, because that means that little baby Lily gets the best food for her.  My advice: if you can be a full time mom for the first six months to a year of your little one's life, do it. That, or move to one of the third world countries that have better maternity leave than the U.S. Almost every country in the world has better maternity leave than the U.S.

Let me tell you some of the complicated things I've learned about pumping:

Many women cannot pump colostrum.  It is better hand expressed.  Lily wouldn't latch well for the first three days because of the birth trauma she experienced.  So, I had to hand express everything until she would latch.  The pump couldn't express the colostrum.

It kinda hurts.  I mean, seriously.  Duh.  I would expect it to, but the fact that we spend hours a day and months upon months doing something that hurts is just crazy.

I should have started pumping sooner.  I played with the pumps a little bit, but I didn't really try to pump much until a week before I had to return to work.  Sure, I want to only feed baby girl refrigerated milk (frozen milk kills the antibodies present). But, I had no idea how much I could pump in a day or in that 8 hours I was gone at work.  So, when that first day, I only pumped 5 oz, and that started to decrease as the week went on, I was in a full panic. She was eating 9 oz per day then.  I've done a lot to increase my pumping output, which I'll talk about later.

Pump flanges come in more than one size!  OMG!  Standard is a medium.  You could need a small, large, extra large, or bigger!  And the size corresponds with your nipple/breast, not with your bra size.  So, you just have to try a few out and see what works for you by extracting the most milk.

You should pump for no less than 10 minutes.   Really 15 to 20 if you want to stimulate milk production.

You should also pump for 2 to 5 min after the end of your last let down to stimulate milk production.

Let down can occur immediately or after a few minutes. Sometimes, I am leaking milk before I even start to pump.  Sometimes, it takes a minute or two.

It is not uncommon to have multiple letdowns per session. I have three; one occurs immediately, one at around seven minutes, and one at fourteen minutes. 

I have to pump 7-8 times per day to keep up with baby girl.  Lemme tell you about running around.  I don't feel like I get a break.  Just to keep up with my baby girl, I spend nearly two hours pumping just when I'm at work.  That's not to mention the two additional hours I spend at home.  Even if the baby slept through the night, I'd still have to get up and pump!  I don't have time to go to Starbucks.  If I wasn't just bitching, I couldn't write this blog post this fast.  In fact, it's taken me two months to finish this post!  I can barely go to the bathroom or find something to eat.  Working out?  Forget it, until I stop breastfeeding.  If you see me at work, and it looks like I'm gonna run someone down, just get out of the way.

Forget something or it breaks?  You're probably screwed for a day.  We forgot to pack one of my flanges for a day at work.  I had to try to pump both boobs with one flange in the time it took me to double pump.  I forgot my flanges at work one day, so I had to use a smaller size at home.  Ouch!  Or, my husband was going to have to drive an hour and a half round trip to find them at 9pm at night.  Some gals have ripped membranes or cracked tubing.  I have some extra parts, but if something goes wrong at work, I'm SOL.

More notes on how to increase one's pumping output and/or milk supply soon.

Breastfeeding is Hard

Breastfeeding was supposed to be easy, but it was more difficult than giving birth. In the past, we were surrounded by extended families full of women who had breastfed. Now, most of us go it nearly alone. Knowledge that was passed down from generation to generation has been replaced by experts. Thank goodness for groups like Le Leche League who try to preserve the support breastfeeding women used to get in their extended families.

I now understand why so many women give up breastfeeding.  I pushed along, because I knew that breastfeeding my little one breastmilk was the best thing I could do for her to ensure that she has a healthy life.  We are no longer surrounded by breastfeeding women who can help us.  And, the support that we do have can interfere with our intuition by echoing back to us conventional thought processes around how to raise our babies, such as trying to tell us that they are eating too much or to put them on a schedule.  Most of us end up going back to work much sooner than is best for baby, because the U.S. does not have adequate maternity laws.  Breastfeeding in public is seen as taboo.  We compete with conventional doctors who often tell us that we have a low supply and that we need to supplement with formula, because the baby's weight doesn't match a chart.  It's a lot to compete with.

Our Bradley instructor told us to connect with breastfeeding resources before we gave birth, because that would make it more likely that we'd reach out for help when we needed it.  Bradley encourages pregnant women to attend Le Leche League meetings prior to giving birth.  I attended two meetings, which was a blessing, because I knew exactly who to contact when I had a day-old newborn who wouldn't eat. She gave me great advice, connected to me some online resources, and followed up via phone to make sure that I could feed my baby.  I also found support on Babycenter.com's Breastfeeding Support and Pumping Moms forums.  Women are posting and responding to questions during all hours of the day.  Additionally, when I would google my questions to find pages that could shed some light on whatever baby topic I wanted to know about.  I cannot imagine going through this without the internet like previous generations did.

I thought breastfeeding would be easy, because babies have instincts. They come out wanting to find the breast, and they can move and root to do so. But, Lily was suctioned quite a bit, due to a lot of meconium in the womb, and we were separated for a long time, because I lost a lot of blood during labor and delivery. That made the first days of breastfeeding difficult for us both. She would root for the nipple, but cry when she got there. I had to hand express colostrum into a spoon to feed her. At the end of day 3, she was starving, because my colostrum ran out, but my milk hadn't come in. I didn't realize we weren't getting anything, and the continued breastfeeding destroyed my nipples, which took four weeks to heal. We had latch issues and pumping issues as well.

Here are some major lessons that I learned:

• Birth trauma can make it difficult for baby to breastfeed.  Embracing birth as a natural part of life, I didn't think that we were going to have any birth trauma. 
• Have people to call just in case.  I was attending Le Leche League meetings prior to giving birth, because I have trouble asking for help.  It was a life saver.
• Pump flanges come in more than one size!  OMG!  Standard is a medium.  You could need a small, large, extra large, or bigger!  And the size corresponds with your nipple/breast, not with your bra size.  So, you just have to try a few out and see what works for you by extracting the most milk.
• Big-breasted women have challenges breastfeeding.  I watched some videos on Youtube made by some large-breasted women who seemingly also had issues.  I don't think I have big boobs, but my mom begs to differ.
• Babies also need to learn how to breastfeed just like mom does.  I noticed that as we worked at it more and more, baby girl learned how to breastfeed better.  For example, folks kept saying that her lips should flare out a little with a good latch.  No matter how I tried to help her at first she couldn't flare her lips.  

Lily and mama are still working some kinks out, but baby girl is chugging away!

Bradley Class #8 - Planning Your Birth

A few weeks ago, our Bradley birth class started to work on our birth plans.  Whether someone is planning on a natural or medicated birth, at a birth center or hospital, and with a midwife or doctor, a birth plan can communicate to staff what you want out of your birth experience.  Even though I have a lot of free reign at the natural birth center I chose, a birth plan can communicate some of the finer details of birth to our midwives and birth assistants.  Having traveled much of this with me, my birth coach and doula, Cortney, is pretty much on this natural wavelength, but our assistant birth coaches will gain insight into what I hope Lily's birth to look like. 

In class, we viewed a few example birth plans, and some of the gals brought in their own birth plans. Our Bradley teacher recommended that we print our birth plan with some color ink or on color paper, so that it would pop out in the collage of information that our health care provider has about us. She mentioned that keeping the language positive is ideal.  Make sure to have your name and your baby's name (if applicable) on the birth plan.  Also, the attitude with which we approach health care professionals, especially in a hospital, can help us meet our goals.  Even if we know what is best for our own and our baby's health, we go a lot farther with sugar, politeness, and some respect shown towards the people we're working with to bring this baby into the world.     Even though going to the hospital and/or having a c-section are not at all a personal options for me, and I will do everything that I can to prevent these options from becoming a reality, I do want to insure that I communicate my preferences in the event that things change course.  And, if we end up at the hospital, it would be better to have them written down, because there might not be a whole lot of time to communicate them otherwise. This is a draft of what my birth plan is starting to look like:

YES!

• Natural birth with no medication
• Let birth happen on it's own time frame
• Dim lights in birth room
• Eat and drink during labor
• Freedom to move around, change positions, and walk
• Ability to push in different positions, not just on back
• Privacy from staff is appreciated
• Lots of family and friends to be around
• Would like to be able to use birth tub and shower if desired in the moment
• Would like to be able to walk around the birth center, if desired
• Would like to rub in the vernix. Please leave it on the baby.
• Waiting until all the blood has made it to baby before cutting the cord
• My mom would like to cut the cord
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth
• Opportunity to immediately start breastfeeding
• Would like to rest for an hour with skin-to-skin contact with baby before going home
• Prefer plant-based vitamin K drops (or none at all)
• To go home as soon as possible after birth, provided that we are not exhausted

If end up in a c-section, I would like:

• Coach with me in surgery
• Conscious during procedure, so that I am alert when baby is born
• Sutures to close up my wounds
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth
• Wait to cut the cord until all of the blood has flowed into baby
• Breastfeeding as soon as possible after birth
• Time along with the baby after birth
• Rooming in with the baby
• All measures be taken, so that she remains in the room with me and on my bed during any procedures she may need

AVOID!

• Lotions/creams
• Laboring on back
• Vitamin K shot
• More than a couple vaginal exams
• Washing the baby at birth
• Pacifer

At the hospital, please AVOID:

• C-section
• Inducing labor
• Epesiotimy
• IV fluids
• Medications, including epidural, pitocin, etc.
• Electronic fetal monitoring
• Artificial rupturing of the membranes
• Premature rupturing of the membranes
• Vacuum
• Forceps
• Vaccines and shots at birth
• Medical procedures on me or baby without parental consent
• Suctioning the baby's mouth
• Eye drops after birth
• Formula/bottles
• Staples to close up my wounds (prefer sutures)

If end up in a c-section, please AVOID:

• Flouridated anesthesia
• Washing the baby after birth
• Removing baby from me, unless life-saving procedure needed

Safe Cosleeping

 Cosleeping, also known as a family bed, is where little ones sleep with parents.  This can be done with a single bed or with a sidecar cribe or cosleeper.  It has generally been considered taboo since statistics linked infant deaths to sharing the family bed.  But, it is still practiced all over the world, many parents have fallen into the family bed because of exhaustion, and it can be better for baby if done correctly and safely.  Many babies aren't happy sleeping alone.  Infants need the constant touch of a loved one to feel safe.  Little ones who sleep with their parents cry less, sleep more, and can be breastfeed more easily.  A lot of people won't admit to themselves that they cosleep, because they wind up sleeping with baby anyway or rocking baby to sleep all night and not getting any sleep themselves.  My mom rocked me to sleep all night for the longest time.

With the rise of attachment parenting, cosleeping is being talked about more and more as a safe option:

It's important to note that infant solitary sleep is a relatively new practice that has evolved in the western world only within the last 100 years. Recently, there have been efforts by various medical and professional organizations to discourage parents from sleeping with their children for fear that it contributes to an increase in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). However, new research demonstrates that co-sleeping, when practiced by informed parents, can be safe and beneficial. In fact, many cultures where parents routinely sleep with their children report some of the lowest SIDS rates. In some of these cultures SIDS is non-existent.

While at the first Le Leche League meeting I attended, one of the other women brought up cosleeping as a benefit to breastfeeding.  Almost all of the women in the room did practice cosleeping.  For us pregnant ladies, one of the LLL leaders started discussing proper practices:

• No blankets on the bed.
• No pillows near baby.
• No impaired parents in the bed (alcohol, drugs, drowsy medications).
• Non-breastfeeding parents shouldn't cosleep in the bed with baby (breastfeeding moms are more in sync with baby).

And, the chapter librarian mentioned that there were two books in the chapter library that women could check out.  I checked one out called Good Nights: The Happy Parents Guide to the Family Bed.  The authors talk about more ways to have a safe family bed:

•  If either parents smoke, stop.
• Recent statistics say babies should sleep on their back.  Never their stomach.
• It may or may not be safer to have the baby sleep next to the mother only, because she'll be more aware of changes in baby.
• Put parents in between baby and siblings, if they also share the bed.
• Sleep on a firm mattress or futon.  Not on a soft mattress, egg crate, water bed, or couch.
• The bigger the bed, the better.  This reduces the risk of crowding.
• Exceptionally obese folks may not want to consider cosleeping, because they may not be as aware of their body's position in relation to baby.  A sidecar position might be a good option instead.
• Don't put your bed against the wall, and if it has to be, make it flush and pack a towel in the crevasse.
• Keeping a bed lower to the ground can minimize falls.  Directly on the floor is best.
• Make sure the headboard is on straight and tight.  Don't want any little hands or heads getting trapped!
• If the headboard has slats, make sure that they are no more than 2 3/8 inches apart.  Again, we don't want little heads to get stuck!
• Few blankets are better than a comforter, but don't cover baby's head.  (This contradicts what the LLL leaders mentioned, so I will ask have to do more looking into the blanket question.)
• Guardrails, available at baby stores, can help baby from falling off, but they aren't necessarily super safe, because babies can get stuck in compromising positions.

Le Leche League Meeting

Le Leche League (LLL) is an international organization that promotes breastfeeding through local gatherings.  LLL was founded in the 1950's.  Le leche is Spanish for the milk, a name chosen so that women could meet without fear of being judged for breastfeeding. "Our Mission is to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother."

When my journey with baby Lily started, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I felt that it would be so instinctive and natural that I wouldn't need to read any books or connect with any support.  In class, we watched Baby-led Breastfeeding, and I could feel the connection to Lily pour out of me.  I could feel how excited I was to breastfeed.  The hormones and instincts were roaring.  I started reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and my attitude changed.  Reading about breastfeeding helped me feel so much more connected to Lily.  I immediately looked for breastfeeding classes and meetings near me.  I started to look for other classes, too, such as baby care, infant massage, infant CPR, etc., because learning more and more about taking care of baby just makes those loving mothering hormones roll out of me.

So, I end up at this breastfeeding meeting in a small nursery.  Seventeen women, six infants, three toddlers, and one preschooler attended the meeting.  Among them were two little ones who were only three weeks old, as well as two pregnant women (one being me!).  One woman was there with her 30 year-old daughter and her children (three generations!).  One woman did not bring her twins who were born 6 weeks early.  One woman did not bring her little one so they could practice bottle feeding at home, so that she could go into surgery next week.  Several of the women have grown children who they breastfed, and there were a couple of mentions of being members of Le Leche League for 20 to 30 or more years.  A couple of the moms are breastfeeding toddlers of two years and older.  All women are welcome at meetings, and there are three times per year that this chapter invites husbands to attend.

The topic of the meeting was to discuss some of the benefits of breastfeeding.  Excerpts were read from an article written by an LLL founder about how the use of language around breastfeeding impacts it's acceptance in society.  Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, and it's benefits aren't benefits.  They are the status quot.  Instead of looking at benefits of breastfeeding as bonuses, we should look at the disadvantages of formula feeding as handicaps.  For example, we might say that breastfed babies have a better immune system and are sick less, but we should instead say that formula-fed babies have weaker immune systems and are sick more. 

I've mentioned a lot of positive things about breastfeeding that we learned in Bradley class. I learned more new things in conversation at the LLL meeting:

• The hormones released in pregnancy and breastfeeding currently relieve one woman's symptoms of multiple sclerosis.  
• Someone mentioned that not only is a breastfeeding woman at reduced risk for feminine cancers, but a breastfed daughter is also at reduced risk to develop those diseases.
• Breastfeeding women's periods are slower to return.  Several women who exclusively breastfed said that they didn't have a period for a year to 18 months after their little ones were born.

One of the women, in tears, shared her fear that her baby wouldn't eat while she was having surgery next week.  No matter what they did, the little one wouldn't eat from the bottle.  Well, she ate from the bottle just fine at daycare, but when dad, mom, or her aunt fed her at home, she wouldn't take it.  One of the LLL leaders suggested cup feeding the milk to the baby, but the woman said her husband refused to do that.  I didn't catch why.  The women were discussing other trouble shooting options, and one of the leaders opted to connect with her before her surgery.

One interesting note for this mom-to-be: the room was neat and tidy, but by the time the toddlers were done with it, it was a disaster.  LOL!

Baby-led Breastfeeding

At our Bradley birth class this past weekend, we watched a video on baby-led breastfeeding.  The premise of this approach to breastfeeding is to calm the baby and let the baby find the breast.  Other mammals breastfeed their babies without having to show them where the breast is and guide them.  The video suggested connecting with the baby, laying the baby on your chest, and then letting the baby work his/her way down to the breast.  The video said that there's no hurry, that "we're on baby time."

According to an article originally posted in Today's Parent, after mom has connected with baby:

If he's hungry and ready to eat, the baby will start squirming around, bobbing his head against you, perhaps looking up at your face and making eye contact. He'll then start twisting to one side or even moving quite vigorously, almost throwing himself sideways. "At this point," Smillie says, "the mother's job is just to keep the baby relaxed and comfortable so he can follow through on his instincts. Support his neck and shoulders with one hand and his hips with the other, and just follow him as he moves. Avoid the temptation to try to make him latch on or even to try to line up his mouth with the nipple."

I am so very excited to try this connecting and letting the baby find the breast.  My roommate was just saying yesterday that the reason she loves babies and children is that they are so smart.  That they know what to do and watching them connect the dots is an amazing experience.  I have been watching my body change, and I will say that these breasts are certainly made for feeding this baby, and she needs to come out and do something with them soon!  They have a purpose!  Connecting with baby Lily is going to be so amazing.  I cannot wait!