Breastfeeding is Hard

Breastfeeding was supposed to be easy, but it was more difficult than giving birth. In the past, we were surrounded by extended families full of women who had breastfed. Now, most of us go it nearly alone. Knowledge that was passed down from generation to generation has been replaced by experts. Thank goodness for groups like Le Leche League who try to preserve the support breastfeeding women used to get in their extended families.

I now understand why so many women give up breastfeeding.  I pushed along, because I knew that breastfeeding my little one breastmilk was the best thing I could do for her to ensure that she has a healthy life.  We are no longer surrounded by breastfeeding women who can help us.  And, the support that we do have can interfere with our intuition by echoing back to us conventional thought processes around how to raise our babies, such as trying to tell us that they are eating too much or to put them on a schedule.  Most of us end up going back to work much sooner than is best for baby, because the U.S. does not have adequate maternity laws.  Breastfeeding in public is seen as taboo.  We compete with conventional doctors who often tell us that we have a low supply and that we need to supplement with formula, because the baby's weight doesn't match a chart.  It's a lot to compete with.

Our Bradley instructor told us to connect with breastfeeding resources before we gave birth, because that would make it more likely that we'd reach out for help when we needed it.  Bradley encourages pregnant women to attend Le Leche League meetings prior to giving birth.  I attended two meetings, which was a blessing, because I knew exactly who to contact when I had a day-old newborn who wouldn't eat. She gave me great advice, connected to me some online resources, and followed up via phone to make sure that I could feed my baby.  I also found support on Babycenter.com's Breastfeeding Support and Pumping Moms forums.  Women are posting and responding to questions during all hours of the day.  Additionally, when I would google my questions to find pages that could shed some light on whatever baby topic I wanted to know about.  I cannot imagine going through this without the internet like previous generations did.

I thought breastfeeding would be easy, because babies have instincts. They come out wanting to find the breast, and they can move and root to do so. But, Lily was suctioned quite a bit, due to a lot of meconium in the womb, and we were separated for a long time, because I lost a lot of blood during labor and delivery. That made the first days of breastfeeding difficult for us both. She would root for the nipple, but cry when she got there. I had to hand express colostrum into a spoon to feed her. At the end of day 3, she was starving, because my colostrum ran out, but my milk hadn't come in. I didn't realize we weren't getting anything, and the continued breastfeeding destroyed my nipples, which took four weeks to heal. We had latch issues and pumping issues as well.

Here are some major lessons that I learned:

• Birth trauma can make it difficult for baby to breastfeed.  Embracing birth as a natural part of life, I didn't think that we were going to have any birth trauma. 
• Have people to call just in case.  I was attending Le Leche League meetings prior to giving birth, because I have trouble asking for help.  It was a life saver.
• Pump flanges come in more than one size!  OMG!  Standard is a medium.  You could need a small, large, extra large, or bigger!  And the size corresponds with your nipple/breast, not with your bra size.  So, you just have to try a few out and see what works for you by extracting the most milk.
• Big-breasted women have challenges breastfeeding.  I watched some videos on Youtube made by some large-breasted women who seemingly also had issues.  I don't think I have big boobs, but my mom begs to differ.
• Babies also need to learn how to breastfeed just like mom does.  I noticed that as we worked at it more and more, baby girl learned how to breastfeed better.  For example, folks kept saying that her lips should flare out a little with a good latch.  No matter how I tried to help her at first she couldn't flare her lips.  

Lily and mama are still working some kinks out, but baby girl is chugging away!

Labor As An Initiation

People have often asked me if it is weird feeling her move around inside of me.  Not at all.  Movements aren't often felt until after the sixteenth week, so I spent four months waiting to feel kicks and punches, so it's been comforting.  Beyond the moments where she has punched me just a little too hard or jammed her little feetsies into my ribs, every movement just sprouts feelings of love for her and appreciation for the incredible process of growing a child in the womb.  I cannot tell you where in the world my stomach ended up, as there's a baby where that used to be housed.  When I breathe from my diaphragm, it's obvious that I have no idea where that went either.  This little girl that will come into this world with her own spirit started out as just a few cells.  She grew a new brain, new kidneys, a new heart, new lungs, and the code written from the stars into her genes has already started to express her personality.  It hasn't even really started, and yet, it's already been an incredible journey for us both.

In the Bradley student workbook, Jay Hathaway, the Co-Executive Director of the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth, asked why not just give birth?  Why do women go through labor?  Hathaway mused on what labor is:

1. A warning sign that a new human life is about to enter the family, community, and this world.
2. A time of physical preparation within and for the mother's body.  
1. To prepare to give birth.
2. To prepare to become a mother.
3.  A physical preparation for the baby's body for being born, changing from an intrauterine life to an extraunterine life.
4. A period of time to assist the mother to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally) for giving up the status of "pregnant woman" and for accepting the responsibilities of mothering a newborn.
5. A period of time to assist the baby to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally) for the "first day of the rest of his or her life."

This really struck me.  Labor is a period of time to assist the mother to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally).  Long story short, labor is an initiation.  It is a physical, emotional, and mental initiation of the maiden into motherhood.  It is a physical, emotional, and mental initiation of the child from fetus to newborn.  Just as many spiritual traditions guide people through initiations from students to members, labor is a transformation.  It is an experience that no one can fully prepare you for.  You just have to experience it yourself.  There is this club called motherhood, and one way to be initiated into that club is to grow from seed and harvest something the size of a squash out of your who-ha.  And, from what I hear (because I haven't been initiated into motherhood just yet), there is this transformation that could be described as a form of enlightenment.  It's been said to me several times on this journey that after this big ordeal of labor, in the moment new mothers connect with their newborns, they realize that the most important thing is their child and their family.  They refocus their priorities, and suddenly the things that seemed so important don't really matter. 

And, because of all of this, maybe it is a spiritual initiation for some.  For me, I do see this birth as a very spiritual experience.  Like all women, I am a manifestation of the feminine divine, which can be seen as the Maiden, Mother, and Crone, mirroring three phases of a woman's life.  By having a natural birth, I am reenacting an ancient tradition, an ancient initiation of maidens into mothers. 

Bradley Class #8 - Planning Your Birth

A few weeks ago, our Bradley birth class started to work on our birth plans.  Whether someone is planning on a natural or medicated birth, at a birth center or hospital, and with a midwife or doctor, a birth plan can communicate to staff what you want out of your birth experience.  Even though I have a lot of free reign at the natural birth center I chose, a birth plan can communicate some of the finer details of birth to our midwives and birth assistants.  Having traveled much of this with me, my birth coach and doula, Cortney, is pretty much on this natural wavelength, but our assistant birth coaches will gain insight into what I hope Lily's birth to look like. 

In class, we viewed a few example birth plans, and some of the gals brought in their own birth plans. Our Bradley teacher recommended that we print our birth plan with some color ink or on color paper, so that it would pop out in the collage of information that our health care provider has about us. She mentioned that keeping the language positive is ideal.  Make sure to have your name and your baby's name (if applicable) on the birth plan.  Also, the attitude with which we approach health care professionals, especially in a hospital, can help us meet our goals.  Even if we know what is best for our own and our baby's health, we go a lot farther with sugar, politeness, and some respect shown towards the people we're working with to bring this baby into the world.     Even though going to the hospital and/or having a c-section are not at all a personal options for me, and I will do everything that I can to prevent these options from becoming a reality, I do want to insure that I communicate my preferences in the event that things change course.  And, if we end up at the hospital, it would be better to have them written down, because there might not be a whole lot of time to communicate them otherwise. This is a draft of what my birth plan is starting to look like:

YES!

• Natural birth with no medication
• Let birth happen on it's own time frame
• Dim lights in birth room
• Eat and drink during labor
• Freedom to move around, change positions, and walk
• Ability to push in different positions, not just on back
• Privacy from staff is appreciated
• Lots of family and friends to be around
• Would like to be able to use birth tub and shower if desired in the moment
• Would like to be able to walk around the birth center, if desired
• Would like to rub in the vernix. Please leave it on the baby.
• Waiting until all the blood has made it to baby before cutting the cord
• My mom would like to cut the cord
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth
• Opportunity to immediately start breastfeeding
• Would like to rest for an hour with skin-to-skin contact with baby before going home
• Prefer plant-based vitamin K drops (or none at all)
• To go home as soon as possible after birth, provided that we are not exhausted

If end up in a c-section, I would like:

• Coach with me in surgery
• Conscious during procedure, so that I am alert when baby is born
• Sutures to close up my wounds
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth
• Wait to cut the cord until all of the blood has flowed into baby
• Breastfeeding as soon as possible after birth
• Time along with the baby after birth
• Rooming in with the baby
• All measures be taken, so that she remains in the room with me and on my bed during any procedures she may need

AVOID!

• Lotions/creams
• Laboring on back
• Vitamin K shot
• More than a couple vaginal exams
• Washing the baby at birth
• Pacifer

At the hospital, please AVOID:

• C-section
• Inducing labor
• Epesiotimy
• IV fluids
• Medications, including epidural, pitocin, etc.
• Electronic fetal monitoring
• Artificial rupturing of the membranes
• Premature rupturing of the membranes
• Vacuum
• Forceps
• Vaccines and shots at birth
• Medical procedures on me or baby without parental consent
• Suctioning the baby's mouth
• Eye drops after birth
• Formula/bottles
• Staples to close up my wounds (prefer sutures)

If end up in a c-section, please AVOID:

• Flouridated anesthesia
• Washing the baby after birth
• Removing baby from me, unless life-saving procedure needed

Bradley Class #5 - First Stage Labor

This class focused on how our body works during labor, what to expect during vaginal exams, practice contractions, and an overview of what happens during labor.

Early first stage labor brings on excitement and wondering if this is it, but not sure.  Women tend to get anxious.  Might have bloody show, urinate frequently, have a runny nose, or several bowel movements.  Contractions are around 10 minutes apart, peak around 30 seconds, and last for 45 to 60 seconds total.  Keep busy and don't become too excited.  Walking helps to open the inlet of the pelvis. 

First stage labor comes with acceptance and knowing that this is definitely it.   Women try different positions to find what works best.  May be hungry.  May be able to move and talk during contractions, which are becoming stronger and more frequent.  Mom needs support and reassurance, and she shouldn't be separated from her coach from this point on.  Conserving energy is important.

Late first stage labor brings seriousness and a "do not disturb" attitude.  Moms lose modesty, and the clothes start to come off.  May need to lie down and appear to be sleeping.  May no longer be hungry.  Contractions are more intense.  It's hard work.  Relaxation is the key.

Moms and coaches can talk to care providers about how many vaginal exams they do during labor.  Some doctors actually recommend against having vaginal exams routinely and/or if the bag of waters has broken.

What vaginal exams measure:

• Dialation of the cervix (up to 10cm)
• Presentation (i.e. position)
• Effacement of the cervix (i.e. thinning around baby's head, from 0% to 100%)
• Station (i.e. position of the baby's head relative to the ischial spines)

 The dirty about vaginal exams:

• Invasive and uncomfortable
• Can expose vaginal area to bacteria, risk of infection
• Practitioners use fingers to measure dialation
• Two practitioners can get different results
• Can be depressing for mom (i.e. not as far along as hoped, etc.)
• Can lead to false information (guestamations)

Babies should be in a head-down position facing your back (Occiput Anterior).  We talked about various ways to turn a breech baby:

•  Stay in a "cat" position with chest down toward ground for a few minutes a day.
• http://spinningbabies.com
• External version (manually turn baby, typically unsuccessful)

Bradley Class #4 - The Coach's Role

 The loving encouragement from a trained coach can do more for the comfort and relaxation of his wife than any amount of medication. - Dr. Robert A. Bradley

 The Bradley birth method is a partner-coached natural birth method.  This meaning that the birthing mother has a support system around her to help her relax, manage pain, and keep up her strength.  Coaches should be:

• enthusiastic, 
• committed, 
• strong, 
• understanding, and 
• a relaxation expert.

Relaxation is key to the Bradley method.  The premise being that tension creates pain.  Birth coaches and moms are encouraged to practice many relaxation techniques together and spend a significant time relaxing each day.  Coaches are also encouraged to be familiar with where mom expresses tension first.  This because every person does it differently, and if the coach recognizes mom tensing up early, then he/she can help mom relax before a pressure wave.

Our Bradley instructor talked about how dads should work to minimize stress in moms' lives.  If there is a bill that needs to be paid, then dad should pay it.  If there is a chore that needs to be done, then dad should do it.  Keeping mom as calm as possible is so very important.  Stress during pregnancy can cause complications and defects in the baby's development.  I started to cry.  There were so many things that had been missing in the first five months of my pregnancy with Lily.  Thank goodness for Kali and Cortney.  And, milkshakes and grass-fed cheeseburgers.

We went around the room to talk about the strengths that we bring to this birth.  Cortney said that her strength was passion and my strength was confidence.  I said that her strength was commitment and excitement and my strength was that if I put my mind to something, I could do it.

We jotted down ways that coaches can enthusiastically encourage moms.  Cortney wrote down that coaches could check exercises and nutrition off of a list.  I said that coaches could ask questions about what mom is doing.  And, that coaches can research birth, too, and that being excited to share information is a big help.

Le Leche League Meeting

Le Leche League (LLL) is an international organization that promotes breastfeeding through local gatherings.  LLL was founded in the 1950's.  Le leche is Spanish for the milk, a name chosen so that women could meet without fear of being judged for breastfeeding. "Our Mission is to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother."

When my journey with baby Lily started, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I felt that it would be so instinctive and natural that I wouldn't need to read any books or connect with any support.  In class, we watched Baby-led Breastfeeding, and I could feel the connection to Lily pour out of me.  I could feel how excited I was to breastfeed.  The hormones and instincts were roaring.  I started reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and my attitude changed.  Reading about breastfeeding helped me feel so much more connected to Lily.  I immediately looked for breastfeeding classes and meetings near me.  I started to look for other classes, too, such as baby care, infant massage, infant CPR, etc., because learning more and more about taking care of baby just makes those loving mothering hormones roll out of me.

So, I end up at this breastfeeding meeting in a small nursery.  Seventeen women, six infants, three toddlers, and one preschooler attended the meeting.  Among them were two little ones who were only three weeks old, as well as two pregnant women (one being me!).  One woman was there with her 30 year-old daughter and her children (three generations!).  One woman did not bring her twins who were born 6 weeks early.  One woman did not bring her little one so they could practice bottle feeding at home, so that she could go into surgery next week.  Several of the women have grown children who they breastfed, and there were a couple of mentions of being members of Le Leche League for 20 to 30 or more years.  A couple of the moms are breastfeeding toddlers of two years and older.  All women are welcome at meetings, and there are three times per year that this chapter invites husbands to attend.

The topic of the meeting was to discuss some of the benefits of breastfeeding.  Excerpts were read from an article written by an LLL founder about how the use of language around breastfeeding impacts it's acceptance in society.  Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, and it's benefits aren't benefits.  They are the status quot.  Instead of looking at benefits of breastfeeding as bonuses, we should look at the disadvantages of formula feeding as handicaps.  For example, we might say that breastfed babies have a better immune system and are sick less, but we should instead say that formula-fed babies have weaker immune systems and are sick more. 

I've mentioned a lot of positive things about breastfeeding that we learned in Bradley class. I learned more new things in conversation at the LLL meeting:

• The hormones released in pregnancy and breastfeeding currently relieve one woman's symptoms of multiple sclerosis.  
• Someone mentioned that not only is a breastfeeding woman at reduced risk for feminine cancers, but a breastfed daughter is also at reduced risk to develop those diseases.
• Breastfeeding women's periods are slower to return.  Several women who exclusively breastfed said that they didn't have a period for a year to 18 months after their little ones were born.

One of the women, in tears, shared her fear that her baby wouldn't eat while she was having surgery next week.  No matter what they did, the little one wouldn't eat from the bottle.  Well, she ate from the bottle just fine at daycare, but when dad, mom, or her aunt fed her at home, she wouldn't take it.  One of the LLL leaders suggested cup feeding the milk to the baby, but the woman said her husband refused to do that.  I didn't catch why.  The women were discussing other trouble shooting options, and one of the leaders opted to connect with her before her surgery.

One interesting note for this mom-to-be: the room was neat and tidy, but by the time the toddlers were done with it, it was a disaster.  LOL!

Bradley Class #3 - Pregnancy

In today's Bradly natural birth class, we talked about gestation and anatomy, we addressed some common issues in pregnancy that can make women uncomfortable, and we talked about the coach preparing for birth day.  A local chiropractor also came in to talk about prenatal chiropractic care.  And, we watched a natural birth video.

Some of the common pregnancy problems experienced by members of our class include heartburn, easily bleeding gums, nose bleeds, fatigue, and sleeping problems.  We addressed some ways to alleviate these issues.  For example, the gal with heartburn could identify and avoid the offending food, engage in moderate exercise, eat some acid-neutralizing foods like yogurt or papaya, avoid carbonated drinks (because they exacerbate the situation), or walk after meals.

We spent time talking about coaching challenges.  The Bradley natural birth method is a heavily partner-coached method.  Partners are encouraged to participate in as much of the process as possible, from attending classes and helping with nutrition, to helping with exercises and helping get mom everything she needs on baby's birth day.

What arrangements have you made so that you will be available during the birth time?

Cortney has been talking to Lily to ask her not to be born until after October 11th, because she will be out of town until then.  I will be 40 weeks on October 16th, and first babies are often born around 41 weeks anyway.  Cortney has also told her employer that at any time around then, she will need to drop whatever she is doing and come to the birth center, even if she's training away.

Cortney and I also chatted about having Kali and my mom as backup coaches.  This so that someone is there until Cortney arrives, and so that Cortney can take breaks.

What can you do to conserve energy during labor?

Cortney can sleep when I sleep, keep hydrated, and keep herself fed.  She can make sure to sleep well in the nights before the birth time.

What coaching aids will you need to have with you during labor?

Ideas from class: music, movies, blankets, pillows, lotions, massagers, heat pack, cool pack, birth ball.

Hypnobabies Class #1

Hypnobabies is a birth class that builds on natural birth methodology by using self-hypnosis as the primary pain management tool.  In fact, it replaces words like "pain" and "labor" with "pressure waves" and "birth time" as a mechanism for training the brain to have a positive, easy birth experience.  When I first got pregnant, I started reading birth stories.  Some of them were painless birth stories that sited using self-hypnosis. The two main programs for self-hypnosis through birth are Hypnobirth and Hypnobabies.

Of course, I'm going to employ tools to have a happy and easy birth.  So, I ordered the Hypnobabies home study course.  It suggests that you have two months to go through the course materials and practice.  I didn't realize until I started going through the course that it advises to not do Hypnobabies with another birth class, even Bradley.  The reasoning is that those classes have stories of worst case scenarios and/or talk about managing pain.  The Hypnobabies program is supposed to work more effectively if mom is completely relaxed, expecting no pain, and has 100% confidence in the self-hypnosis tools.  The founder of the Hypnobabies program used to teach the Bradley birth method and much of the same material is supposed to be included.  I almost canceled the Bradley course after reading this, but I decided to go ahead and do both.    Since Baby Daddy won't be my birth coach, I felt that going through the Bradley class in person would connect Cortney and I together in this process.  And, that is so true.  I really do feel like it is already helping us to be a better team on Lily's birth day.  Then, it becomes a situation where I am adding hypnosis tools to the Bradley class, not the other way around.  I am also really thankful for the 12 week Bradley format and getting to check in with folks every week.  It keeps me accountable.

The two main components of the home study course is a workbook and CD's.  Two tracks are supposed to be listened to daily.  One track is a set of daily affirmations that runs 30 minutes.  The other track is one of the self-hypnosis tracks that also runs about 30 minutes.  Only one affirmation track can be listened to while driving.  Everything else is done through invoking a hypnotic state.

The program uses affirmations to change patterns of thinking.  The joyful affirmations CD is focused on creating a positive, healthy, and safe image of birth for a mother.  It is essential that we relax during the birth process.  Fear causes tension in the muscles, and tense muscles don't allow the uterus and rest of the body to function properly, so that causes pain.  A relaxed, calm birth will be less painful to the mother.  Hypnobabies goes one step further to encourage the body to release its own anesthesia into the body.  According to our Bradley instructor and the Hypnobabies workbook, birthing mammals instinctively seek out a dark, isolated, and quiet space in which to birth.  And then, they mimic sleeping while giving birth.  Humans can simulate this state by breathing deeply from our abdomen while making sure to completely relax.

This is starting off to be a great class.  I am working to make Lily's birth the most positive, happy, easy birth day possible.  I won't be disappointed if the plan has to change.  I can only do my best now and when the time comes to meet her.

Breastfeeding is Awesome

A good portion of our second Bradley birth class centered around the benefits of breastfeeding. Years ago, I thought that I would definitely use formula as a result of various things I had heard about breastfeeding. Back then, I was also really sure that I'd want the drugs and to not remember anything about birth. But, in learning that working with nature, instead of against it, can make birth so much easier, it was a no-brainer that the natural option of breastfeeding would be a better choice. It wasn't until I recently met with a friend who just gave birth did I learn a few amazing benefits to breastfeeding. Many of these were reinforced at yesterday's Bradley class. Benefits include:

• Breast milk is free, so it saves money.
• Breastfeeding moms get better sleep.  Breastmilk needs no preparation (it's ready at all times), and you can sleep and feed.
• Breast milk is always the right temperature.
•  Breastfed babies have less upset tummies.  Breast milk as active cultures and is easier for babies to digest.  
• Colostrum, a thick milk produced the week after baby is born, is "liquid gold" that provides baby with so many nutrients and antibodies for a healthy baby.
• Breastfed babies have less allergies to food and environmental conditions.  They get the right food at the right time that their bodies can handle.
• Breast milk has antibacterial properties. Put it on boo-boos to help heal. Our Bradley instructor said that she even put some in the eye of her little one to combat conjunctivitis in the eye. Good for rashes, cradle cap, etc. A little squirtie-squirt, you know...
• Breast-fed babies statistically spend less time in the doctor's office.  They have less illness and less disease.
• Mom and baby share antibodies.  If baby gets sick, breastfeeding will allow mom to produce antibodies to ward off the disease for the baby.  If mom gets sick, it can give the antibodies to the baby, so that the baby doesn't get it.
• Breastfeeding is a baby pain reliever. It is a security blanket for baby. Our Bradley instructor said that there were times where she nursed her kids through shots in the doctor's office, and that really helped them stay calm. 
• Breast feeding is great for brain development. Statistically, children who were breast fed have higher IQ's. Our Bradley instructor commented that this could also be due to the mom's who choose to breastfeed having higher IQ's, so it's possible that it's genetics and not the milk itself.
• Breastfed babies statistically better teeth. It's harder to get milk out of the breast, so the sucking develops a baby's jaw. Better for bite development. And, more natural sugars in breast milk.
• Breastfed babies have less smelly diapers.
• Moms who breastfeed lessen their risk for cancer (ovarian, breast, etc.), and the longer and more children women breastfeed, the less risk they have. Our Bradley instructor commented that cancer tends to attach itself to general cells, and the more women have children and breastfeed, the more of those general cells have purpose.
• Something that really stuck out for Cortney was our instructor's comment that breast milk is said to combat HIV.

I am so excited to spend quality time with baby Lily while breastfeeding. How exciting!

Bradley Birth Class #2 - Nutrition

My doula and birth coach, Cortney, and I went to our second Bradley birth class.  Today's topics included nutrition and breastfeeding.  The Bradley method focuses Dr. Brewer's recommendations for a healthy pregnancy.  This includes milk products, eggs, protein, greens, whole grains, citrus, fats and oils, yellow and orange fruits and veggies, salt to taste, and lots of water.  Some items reinforced about nutrition:

• Good nutrition can almost eliminate risk of pre-eclampsia. 
• Pre-eclampsia is signified by high blood pressure and protein in the urine during pregnancy.  The only way to stop pre-eclampsia is to deliver the baby, no matter when the condition sets on.  The choice is to deliver the baby or the mother will die, even at 20 weeks, 28 weeks, 37 weeks...whenever.
• Make sure to take in 80 to 100 grams of protein per day.  One doctor (I forget his name) did a few studies and women to hit this number were sure not to have pre-eclampsia.
• Getting enough fat in your diet will make your skin stretchy.  This lessons stretch marks and makes the body more able to stretch for delivery.  Even a little fat goes a long way.  And, there are many fat-soluable vitamins that we absorb better when paired with fat.
• Pay attention to nutrient pairings for best absorption.  Calcium is best absorbed with fat.  So, even if drinking skim milk, that needs to be consumed with maybe some buttered toast to best absorb the calcium in the milk.  Either that or switch to a fattier milk.
• Our Bradley instructor emphasized the importance of buying some foods organic, such as the "dirty dozen" and the "clean 15."

Swimming with Baby

Today, I took the advice of my Bradley instructor, my midwife, and just every general book on pregnancy, to resume exercising, if even for a little bit.  I mentioned previously that complications allowed me to stray from a regular routine.  Even just a little walking or a little exercise is very good for the pregnant body.  Just a little work each day can help the body prepare for labor and give mama an easier birth.  So, when I had the opportunity to swim in a pool today, I made a point to make ten to a dozen laps around it.  I can certainly feel the difference swimming with Lily hanging out of my tummy, as various abdominal muscles were getting a workout where I wouldn't have felt any resistence before.

This is me pre-swim, as well as doing the Bradley-recommended homework of relaxation.  It may or may not have been in relation to a preggers food coma after destroying some grilled chicken, salad, and pasta salad.  My birth partner and doula, Cortney, made certain that I got enough water.  She also set my roommate up to remind me to do my Bradley homework exercises every night at 8pm.  Darn it, I thought I could sneak out of the homework.  But, I found out the hard way last night that Cortney even showed her the knee-resistance exercise that requires two people!

First Bradley Birth Class - Exercise

I attended my first Bradley birth class yesterday with my new birth coach and doula, Cortney!  Read about her experiences on this journey on her birth coach blog.  Cortney's aspiration for the next part of her life is to become a certified nurse midwife.  As she's exploring how nursing school will fit into her life, she will begin midwifery school in September, and she just started training to become a certified doula.  While a midwife monitors and oversees the care of a pregnancy and birth, a doula can be enlisted to support a laboring mother in whatever way she needs.  This can include communicating the needs of the mother to others, getting food, suggesting new birth positions, suggesting ways to manage pain, and being emotional support, etc.

Bradley is a natural birth method delivered in 12 weekly classes.  The first class covered ways of handling pain and some simple exercises to build strength in areas of the body that we'll need to be strong for an easier birth.  Ways of handling pain include sleeping, eating, drinking water, applying pressure and changing position, etc.  Exercises for an easier birth include relaxing, walking daily, kegels, and pelvic rocking, etc.

We were in a class of about seven other pregnant families.  It is a method that encourages coaching and support by husbands or other birth partners.  These women are due within a month of when I am due (middle of October), from the middle of September to the middle of November.  While all of the husbands were super supportive, some of the men were more vocal than others.  Our class instructor mentioned that often fathers don't feel participatory in the pregnancy and the birth class gives them a great way to do become involved.  I am happy that Cortney and I get to attend together, because this will connect us both more with birthing together.

We answered some true/false questions about pregnancy myths.  All of the answers should have been false, but I thought a couple of them could be true. In fact, our instructor said that these could be true, but they aren't ideal.

Since childbirth is a natural function, women don't need classes, but can rely on their instincts to get them through it.  From what I've read to this point, I feel like I could give birth by listening to my body without further instruction.  Our instructor said that while this can be true, our cultural understanding of birth is different from most of the world.  Other cultures grow up seeing their family members give birth, so they intuitively know what works and what to expect.  In our culture, we don't see birth, and when we do, it's the worst case scenario on television.  I do think that for my personal beliefs about the medical industry and the human body, that I am less susceptible to influence by American cultural understandings of birth.  But, it surrounds us all, and she makes a valid point.  The Hynobabies home study course advises women to not allow negative or painful birth images or stories into their lives while preparing or birth.

It is all  right if your nutrition is not as good as it should be when you're pregnant because the baby can take what it needs from the mother. I felt like there is truth to this, because with everything Baby Daddy put me through, I was having trouble getting and keeping food down for several weeks.  I lost so much weight, I barely looked pregnant at five months, and I was so scared that I was going to miscarry or cause major damage to the baby.  I weighed less five months pregnant than I have weighed in the last 6 years.  However, at the 20 week ultrasound, the technician said that the baby was 13 oz.  My weekly Babycenter.com weekly email said that babies are around 10.5 oz at 20 weeks.  I was so happy that she was taking what she needed from me.  Our instructor said that while it is true that the baby will take what it needs from the mother, those nutrients still need to be there in the first place, or else the baby cannot take them.  That makes sense.

We each pulled a question about pregnancy to answer while we made our personal introductions.  My question was "What I expect to enjoy the most about our labor and delivery is..." I expect to enjoy experiencing the natural miracle of the human body as I explore the wonderful gifts that are innate within us.  I believe that we were built to have babies, and baring no major complications, I am so excited to see the natural process unfold.  I have been enamored with the many gifts that Mother Nature has given us, like breast milk, the life-enriching fluids of the umbilical cord, and the vernix, and I am so excited to continue to embrace these gifts of birth and the new gifts I am learning about for more easily laboring my bundle of joy into the world.

Near the end of class, we practiced some of the simple exercises, such as pelvic rocking and side lying.  As I was lying on my side, I looked back and realized that Baby Daddy wasn't there with me.  As I started to get sad, I had to remind myself how mean he was to me, how poorly he treated me, and that he didn't care about us anymore. That the man who was so excited to start a family with me didn't exist.  He wasn't real. I am so lucky that Cortney is so excited to be my birth partner.  I don't know what I would do without her as my friend and cheerleader.