Baby Lily's Homemade Mac'N'Cheese

Food.  It's been a major issue during my pregnancy. From trying to find a few things my stomach would let me eat and trying not to use the microwave at work, to having little back up at home in regards to making sure that I got food I could eat, the times when Baby Daddy ate the food I had specially prepared for me, and then moving mid-pregnancy to a non-organic household, it has been a little bit of a struggle.  There were weeks in there that I was pounding down grass-fed cheeseburgers and milkshakes just trying to get down something I could eat that resembled proper nutrition for pregnant ladies.  That would be lots of protein, fat, calcium, and many other nutrients to build a healthy baby.  So, that is why macaroni and cheese is a good addition to any meal.

I'm living with good friend, Kali, and we decided to google how to make mac and cheese while at the store one day.  We found this recipe and adjusted it to suit our needs.  My needs include organic, grass-fed, whole wheat ingredients.  Kali's needs are lots of yummy cheeses that make her swoon.  The calories, fat, and protein this this sidedish are enough to make any growing baby happy.  Last night, we paired it with grass-fed rib eye steaks and salad.


1 pound whole grain, organic elbow pasta
1/2 cup pasture raised, organic butter
1/2 cup whole wheat, organic flour
4 cups grass-fed, organic, whole milk
8 ounces organic sharp cheddar
8 ounces gouda
8 ounces gruyere
1/2 t. sea salt (to taste)
Whole wheat breadcrumbs

The finished product is so good, one of Kali's coworker commented, "That's not just mac and cheese.  You have to give it its own name."  So, Kali donned it Baby Lily's Homemade Mac'N'Cheese.  It's is certainly Baby Approved.

Prenatal Chiropractic Care

For the past few months, I've been seeing a prenatal chiropractor.  It started when I slipped down the stairs in January and landed on my butt pretty hard, which eventually caused pain in my upper left shoulder.  Chiropractic care, like massage and acupuncture, are wonderful natural healing tools that people would benefit from making them a part of their regular routine.  I also discovered that chiropractic care is especially beneficial to pregnant women.

My chiropractor explained the practice as the process of aligning the spine in order to allow the nerves to transmit signals from the brain to various muscles and parts of the body more effectively.  I translated that to basically mean that chiropractic care deals with energy flow.  A misaligned spine does not allow for optimal energy flow from the brain to other parts of the body.  I was surprised that her office also specializes in chiropractic care for babies and children.  She explained that the process of birth and the first few years of life can have a great impact on the spine, and that if not corrected by a certain age, some things are not as adjustable as an adult.  I do remember learning in school about a point in someone's life where their bone structure solidifies or sets in.  I am paraphrasing all of this from our first conversation months ago, but this is the gist of it.

According to AmericanPregnancy.org:

When the pelvis is misaligned it may reduce the amount of room available for the developing baby. This restriction is called intrauterine constraint. A misaligned pelvis may also make it difficult for the baby to get into the best possible position for delivery. This can affect the mother's ability to have a natural, non-invasive birth. Breech and posterior positions can interfere with the natural ease of labor and lead to interventions such as c-sections.

Keeping the spine aligned helps the systems of the body to operate more effectively, and this is especially important during pregnancy.   It can help lessen back pain during pregnancy as the baby grows in size. It can help with nausea.  It can make the birth quicker and easier and help prevent a c-section.   My chiropractor also mentioned that an aligned spine allows the ligaments on both sides of the belly stretch to the same size, so that the belly is not lopsided.  She even mentioned that she has been called to make adjustments during birth times to help a labor that has stopped progress.

I had made an appointment to prevent a fall from turning into chronic pain.  What I didn't know was that I was embarking on a journey that would help my body have a better pregnancy and me have a better birth time. And, knowledge that helps me bring Lily into the chiropractor from birth, so that she has a healthier life, too.

Swimming with Baby

Today, I took the advice of my Bradley instructor, my midwife, and just every general book on pregnancy, to resume exercising, if even for a little bit.  I mentioned previously that complications allowed me to stray from a regular routine.  Even just a little walking or a little exercise is very good for the pregnant body.  Just a little work each day can help the body prepare for labor and give mama an easier birth.  So, when I had the opportunity to swim in a pool today, I made a point to make ten to a dozen laps around it.  I can certainly feel the difference swimming with Lily hanging out of my tummy, as various abdominal muscles were getting a workout where I wouldn't have felt any resistence before.

This is me pre-swim, as well as doing the Bradley-recommended homework of relaxation.  It may or may not have been in relation to a preggers food coma after destroying some grilled chicken, salad, and pasta salad.  My birth partner and doula, Cortney, made certain that I got enough water.  She also set my roommate up to remind me to do my Bradley homework exercises every night at 8pm.  Darn it, I thought I could sneak out of the homework.  But, I found out the hard way last night that Cortney even showed her the knee-resistance exercise that requires two people!

First Bradley Birth Class - Exercise

I attended my first Bradley birth class yesterday with my new birth coach and doula, Cortney!  Read about her experiences on this journey on her birth coach blog.  Cortney's aspiration for the next part of her life is to become a certified nurse midwife.  As she's exploring how nursing school will fit into her life, she will begin midwifery school in September, and she just started training to become a certified doula.  While a midwife monitors and oversees the care of a pregnancy and birth, a doula can be enlisted to support a laboring mother in whatever way she needs.  This can include communicating the needs of the mother to others, getting food, suggesting new birth positions, suggesting ways to manage pain, and being emotional support, etc.

Bradley is a natural birth method delivered in 12 weekly classes.  The first class covered ways of handling pain and some simple exercises to build strength in areas of the body that we'll need to be strong for an easier birth.  Ways of handling pain include sleeping, eating, drinking water, applying pressure and changing position, etc.  Exercises for an easier birth include relaxing, walking daily, kegels, and pelvic rocking, etc.

We were in a class of about seven other pregnant families.  It is a method that encourages coaching and support by husbands or other birth partners.  These women are due within a month of when I am due (middle of October), from the middle of September to the middle of November.  While all of the husbands were super supportive, some of the men were more vocal than others.  Our class instructor mentioned that often fathers don't feel participatory in the pregnancy and the birth class gives them a great way to do become involved.  I am happy that Cortney and I get to attend together, because this will connect us both more with birthing together.

We answered some true/false questions about pregnancy myths.  All of the answers should have been false, but I thought a couple of them could be true. In fact, our instructor said that these could be true, but they aren't ideal.

Since childbirth is a natural function, women don't need classes, but can rely on their instincts to get them through it.  From what I've read to this point, I feel like I could give birth by listening to my body without further instruction.  Our instructor said that while this can be true, our cultural understanding of birth is different from most of the world.  Other cultures grow up seeing their family members give birth, so they intuitively know what works and what to expect.  In our culture, we don't see birth, and when we do, it's the worst case scenario on television.  I do think that for my personal beliefs about the medical industry and the human body, that I am less susceptible to influence by American cultural understandings of birth.  But, it surrounds us all, and she makes a valid point.  The Hynobabies home study course advises women to not allow negative or painful birth images or stories into their lives while preparing or birth.

It is all  right if your nutrition is not as good as it should be when you're pregnant because the baby can take what it needs from the mother. I felt like there is truth to this, because with everything Baby Daddy put me through, I was having trouble getting and keeping food down for several weeks.  I lost so much weight, I barely looked pregnant at five months, and I was so scared that I was going to miscarry or cause major damage to the baby.  I weighed less five months pregnant than I have weighed in the last 6 years.  However, at the 20 week ultrasound, the technician said that the baby was 13 oz.  My weekly Babycenter.com weekly email said that babies are around 10.5 oz at 20 weeks.  I was so happy that she was taking what she needed from me.  Our instructor said that while it is true that the baby will take what it needs from the mother, those nutrients still need to be there in the first place, or else the baby cannot take them.  That makes sense.

We each pulled a question about pregnancy to answer while we made our personal introductions.  My question was "What I expect to enjoy the most about our labor and delivery is..." I expect to enjoy experiencing the natural miracle of the human body as I explore the wonderful gifts that are innate within us.  I believe that we were built to have babies, and baring no major complications, I am so excited to see the natural process unfold.  I have been enamored with the many gifts that Mother Nature has given us, like breast milk, the life-enriching fluids of the umbilical cord, and the vernix, and I am so excited to continue to embrace these gifts of birth and the new gifts I am learning about for more easily laboring my bundle of joy into the world.

Near the end of class, we practiced some of the simple exercises, such as pelvic rocking and side lying.  As I was lying on my side, I looked back and realized that Baby Daddy wasn't there with me.  As I started to get sad, I had to remind myself how mean he was to me, how poorly he treated me, and that he didn't care about us anymore. That the man who was so excited to start a family with me didn't exist.  He wasn't real. I am so lucky that Cortney is so excited to be my birth partner.  I don't know what I would do without her as my friend and cheerleader.

Resetting the Baby Altar

It has been 15 days since I moved out of the Magick House where Lily went from a little egg in my ovary to a growing little bean.  This week, I reset Lily'a baby altar in my temporary room.   I had ordered beeswax birthday candles to use as devotionals, as they aren't made of chemicals that burn off into the air we breathe.

I had been praying for weeks for the universe to keep our family together.  For the universe to help me open myself up to the work that I needed to do, so that Baby Daddy could open himself up to the work that he needed to do, so that our family would be strong again.  My therapist said that when someone refuses to see other perspectives, even when you are right, you cannot make them understand.  Maya Angelou said that when someone shows you who they are, believe them.  Now, I just pray for a healthy and happy baby. When I am standing in front of my little altar, thinking about blessing for my little baby, I use lavender oil to anoint a candle to draw in those loving feelings.  Today, I used an orange candle for vibrant happiness and joyous health.  Oh, baby baby!

During this waxing time of the Moon, as the lunar energy grows just like the baby inside of me, my focus is on manifesting in my daily practice all of the things that I set aside to make this transition into a peaceful space.  For the past three weeks, I have not been drinking my pregnancy teas.  I have not been doing my kegels.  I have been going a few days without using honey on my face.  I need to buy coconut oil, so that I can make more natural deodorant.  I've gotten farther in my pregnancy, so it's time to review some of the books I read in early weeks.  I also need to exercise more, as between morning appointments with my therapist, lawyer, chiropractor, midwife, and ultrasounds, it's been hard to find the energy to get to the gym.  I have managed several walks during my lunch break.  Just keep chugging along doing the best that I can.

Goodbye, Baby Daddy

That is right.  Goodbye, Baby Daddy.  I have packed up my bags and moved out.  Baby Daddy has a lot of issues that he needs to resolve in himself before he can be a father.  If it wasn't the months of emotional abuse and controlling behavior that asked me to give up my sense of judgement, sense of self, confidence, and identity, then it surely was him sleeping with one of our good friends and putting the baby at risk to contract an STD.  Or maybe it was the emotional and other neglect of his pregnant wife when he decided that he was bored, it was time to move on to the next victim of his game, and that he wanted a divorce from his new (third), supportive, and loving pregnant wife who did whatever she could to save her marriage.  What kind of man can watch the woman pregnant with his baby and scared out of her mind loose 9 pounds through the stress he's putting on the relationship and tell her that its her fault for being upset?  That's right, friends.  Baby Daddy lacks conscience and empathy.  I was just another in a string of women to dominate and discard. 

As for me and baby, we are happily living it up (as much as a pregnant lady can) at a friend's house.  So much for the best pregnancy.  I will settle for the best pregnancy possible in this situation. I have been worried about food, makeup, and deodorant, but the most important thing was a peaceful space.  A space where baby and mama can be free from stress, manipulation, and control.  A space where mama's needs and opinion mean something.  A space where the baby is the most important focus.

Besides knowing that sweet baby is okay, the most precious thing has been the fear of being alone that transformed into the knowledge that we have an incredible support system.  There are dozens of people who have reached out to lend a hand, lend an ear, be a shoulder, be a friend, share a meal, etc.  I always doubted  whether or not I was doing a good enough job as a leader, whether I was giving enough to others and to the community.  That answer has been a resounding yes.  Thank you so much to all of those who have been there, who continue to be there, and who will be there for us in the future.

Her name is Lily and she is going to be born in October.  I am so excited to meet her. I dreamt of it the other night. About holding her and seeing her eyes.  Feeling her soft skin.  She will be the most loved person I know.

And, Baby Daddy's opinion is that he can take care of and love a baby in the womb without taking care of   the pregnant mother.  This is so completely wrong that it's disgusting.  That's okay, Big BD.  We can take care of ourselves.