Due Date Comes And Goes

40 weeks 1 day

So, babies are born on average at 41 weeks and 1 day.  Though things are definitely moving in the direction of labor, this little Lily pad is happy in her warm bed in my belly.  This picture of me yesterday really shows that she's moved down a lot, and there have been times these past two days where I feel like she could just fall out.  If I was only so lucky.

The contractions are getting more regular, but nothing to really indicate that labor has started.  It could still be another week before she arrives.  In talking on the phone with my midwife, I'll start another round of herbal tinctures, homeopaths, and include the castor oil over this weekend, if she doesn't poke her head out before that.  I made an appointment for a biophysical profile in the case that she runs over 41 weeks.  That on top that, the midwives will do a stress test to see if her heart rate drops during contractions.

Cortney talks more about natural induction on her blog, which prompted Elizabeth Gilhuly to ask " If no problem, why mess with nature?"  That is a great question, and the answer is complicated.

In my opinion, there is a huge problem with our medical system, and it is smeared all over birth, too.  It's obvious to the natural-minded folks that 99% of our medical system doesn't understand birth, babies, or health.  There is a lot in the labor process that it feels like most hospitals choose to ignore in order to make it easier on the hospital.  There is just a lot of concnern in the medical system surrounding babies who aren't born by 42 weeks between the possibility of the placenta failing, loss of amniotic fluid, or the baby having a bowel movement in the womb and breathing in fecal matter.  Sure, they can't tell you for sure when your baby is ready to be born, but they can tell you when she's been in there too long.  Hmmmm...

I am wondering if the midwives are required by Virginia law or by their certifying body to transfer care to a hospital after 42 weeks, or if that's just the birth center's policy.  Apparently, we do have more questions to ask at our next visit. When you have pregnant brain, it's hard to think of some of these questions.  Of course, the hospital can't make you do anything you don't want to do, but I'm highly suggestible, and I don't want to risk conventional medicine touching Lily if she's just a healthy pea fresh from the pod.

Yes, the due date is an estimation.  Healthy babies come naturally before and after the due date all of the time.  They base the due date on your menstrual cycle, which put my original due date as October 2nd.  However, my first ultrasound showed that her size put her at 6 weeks, instead of 8 weeks, so they adjusted my due date to October 16th.  The first ultrasound is supposed to be the most accurate, especially when she's so small.  My second ultrasound two weeks later put her due date on October 12th, but I stuck with the latest due date, because that also gave us the biggest window of time before I could no longer have her at the birth center or with our midwives.

I was not at all on board Monday morning when my midwife started talking about herbal tinctures and homeopathics, but then I realized that I had been resistant to a lot of natural supplemental suggestions they had given me, only to kick myself in the butt later.  I have to do a write up about the group B strep test, which I effectively only started freaking out about two weeks before when my midwife said that a positive outcome on the test put baby at risk to get sick and made it more likely to end up at the hospital.  I realized that if I just brushed off this new suggestion again, I could put myself in a position freaking out a week later when they start talking about the hospital again. 

Babies do know when to be born.  But, there are other reasons why she could not be coming right now that stem from me.  Even though I feel generally relaxed, I could be too stressed out.  I could be working when I should be relaxing.  I could be harboring fear that is creating adrenaline and preventing labor from starting.  She could be ready to come out, but it could be my body that is not ready because of whatever choices I've made.  So, some techniques to help my body release that anxiety could be just what is needed.  

So, for me, there are major risks to waiting longer to start some natural induction techniques.  If she's ready to come out, she'll come out.  If she's not ready to come out, nothing that I can do will make her come out.

One Day Before Estimated Due Date

Monday morning, I had what could be my last midwife appointment before going into labor. With it still not feeling as if she was coming out anytime soon, my midwife suggested that I think about some herbal labor stimulation.  We listened to Lily's heartbeat, it maybe being the last time in the womb.  It is not a sound that will ever get out of my head.  Wofm-wofm-wofm-wofm, real fast, 150-some beats per minute.

We went into the birth center's shop to take a closer look at the labor stimulators.  Castor oil seems to be the most well-known natural labor inducer, but that comes with 4 hours of major diarrhea.  As Cortney pointed out, that's not the way anyone would want to start labor.  There are some tinctures and homeopathics in the birth center's little kit, which my midwife suggested that I could start Monday at work, and then pick up with the breast pump.  I just picked up the whole kit just in case.

I arrived to work early, so I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes.  Mondays are usually my slowest days, but this day was just busy.  I suppose that gearing up for the nearing November sweeps period and the impending presidential election make things super busy all around.  Blah.  Regardless, I still managed to get in four rounds of the herbal labor stimulator, taking a dose of something different every 15 minutes.  

After work, Nicole and Dave came over for a Seedgroup of the Oak and Eagle leadership meeting.  Corbee and Kali stopped by to visit.  Corbee swooped in from Canada to make sure she was here to welcome Lily into the world, and she wanted to make sure she could give pre-labor me a hug. You know, before I start working really hard.

My mom has been skeptical about some things.   I realized that the why of some of her questions are complicated, and we've spent the last ten years having different experiences.  So, the why is hard to communicate.  Looking through the bag of herbal tinctures, she wanted to know why I needed to take them, because they didn't look very natural to her.  She said that she didn't need anything to help her start labor.  It wasn't something that was easy to explain, so she commented that I'd probably just hand her a book, which wasn't something I thought I could do.  Then, I pulled out the Wise Woman's Herbal for the Childbearing Year to find that most the tricks in my little bag were listed under labor remedies.  It made us both feel better to read that these are known responses to naturally kick start labor.

My mom has also been thrust into this world of mine with all of these people, chosen family, who are strangers to her.  The other day, she asked me why I felt the need to have all of these people around during what is supposed to be a private time.  She's taken a little offense, but slowly adjusted, to the fact that she isn't here to do all of the jobs that Iris and Lily need done.  After spending a couple of days mulling over why so many people, I realized that I, myself, had forgotten why I needed all of these people around me.  The me of four months ago knew that the me of this moment would need all of these people around.  I am apparently still devastated that baby daddy turned out to be crazy, and while I thought him and I would labor semi-alone as most people do, I need my support system to distract me from that reality and to remind me over and over that we are loved and we are not alone.  It's not a task that my mom will have the energy to do along with everything else she signed up to do.  Each person in my support system is a shining star that reflects back at me all of the good things of life:  friendship, love, support, magick, caring, family, good times, connection, food, wine, home, happiness, purpose, resilience, late nights around the fire, babies, puppies, kittens, fancy dress parties, full moons, board games, etc. 

Two Days To Estimated Due Date

As I fell asleep Saturday night, I realized that, even after telling everyone that it's going to be awhile before Lily is born, I was starting to get gidgity myself.  With the realization that I just don't want to go back to work on Monday, I think that created a preliminary due date in my head.  But, I'm going to go to work this week, because it could be another couple of weeks before she arrives.  Let's not waste our paid time off watching BBC America reruns and sleeping on the couch.  While I feel great and have energy enough to work, I just don't want to deal with some of the elements of work that are really not my job.

I woke up Sunday morning to the smell of bacon.  It's a pregnant dream.  When I came downstairs, my mom was prepping a lasagna, blueberry muffins, and a bacon-cheese quiche for the oven.  We took a walk and then went to the super Whole Foods in Fair Lakes.  We were looking for a better desert selection.  We ended up with a muffin for my mom and a piece of cake for me.

In the afternoon, I went on a play date with Cortney and her friends Mary and Jen.  Mary and Cortney were playing Rummy-O outside while enjoying the day.  I went home, had lasagna for dinner with my mom, and then we watched Once Upon a Time and Revenge before heading up to bed.  It was a very relaxing day. 

I pulled out the breast pump that Salem passed down to me in an effort to try it out.  Using the breast pump is said to naturally stimulate labor.  I didn't know how long I was supposed to work with it.  I ask my midwife Monday morning, who said 15 minutes a day, or 15 minutes every hour, depending on how much you're really trying to start labor.  After that, I continued with my Hypnobabies CD's.  I have been rotating in the maintenance program between the Deepening, Fear Clearing, and Hypnotic Childbirth #1 and #2 tracks these past couple of weeks.  Last night, it was the Deepening track.

Threes Days to Estimated Due Date

39 weeks, 5 days

And, that guesstimate is really iffy.  Who knows when baby Lily is ready to come?  Does baby Lily even know?  I sure don't know.  It could be this weekend, next week, the week after that, or later. I am working until next Friday.  Folks are surprised that I'm still working. I'm actually pretty mobile, even here at the end.  It was referenced several times in classes and materials I read that active pregnant ladies generally feel better and have easier labors.  I'm hoping that's the case for me.  I do certainly feel pretty good.  I've been trying to walk as much as possible, when my energy level, schedule, and the temperature allow.  It hasn't helped that it's been 35 degrees upon waking these past few days.

Thursday, I went to what could be my last chiropractor appointment.  My spine is pretty straight.  I am sure the way I'm sleeping is causing some discrepancies.  I'm not generally uncomfortable, save when I'm sleeping or when she's got her feetsies in my ribs.   It's hard to support the top of my abdomen, so it's aches, this especially because baby is often using my ribs to stretch her legs.  My chiropractor was happy with how aligned my spine was so close to my due date.  Virgos are like the Vulcans of humanity, so I probably have good posture from having a stick up my ass.  It's cool; we know that's how we are, and we don't want to be any different.

My mom and I bought groceries for this weekend.   I was supposed to end up at a baller party for a former coworker that just bought a house, but I decided not to go.  Usually, it would be because I'm tired.  But, today, I don't want to be treated like the walking time-bomb.  I make people nervous.  I now understand the comments one of the pregnant ladies in my new mommies group made.  She said that when she walked into a restaurant, they would ask her if she wanted to sit by the door, acting like she could have the baby any minute.  Maybe that's the intuition of the people around us telling us that they can tell changes are happening.  People will tell me in once breath that I don't really look THAT pregnant, but act as if I'm about to pop.  That's something to note.

I spent yesterday morning putting together Baby Lily Dance Mix:

"Coming Home"  by  Diddy - Dirty Money & Skylar Grey
"The Fighter" (feat. Ryan Tedder) by Gym Class Heroes
"Die Young" by Ke$ha
"I Cry" by Flo Rida
"Lights" by Ellie Goulding
"Hard Knock Life"  by Jay-Z
"Goodnight Goodnight "  by Hot Hot Heat
"All of Your Love" by Hello Goodbye
"TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
"We R Who We R" by Ke$ha
"Forget You" by Cee Lo Green
"Price Tag" (feat. B.o.B) by Jessie J
"Dynamite" by Taio Cruz
"Till the World Ends" (The Femme Fatale Remix)
"What the Hell " by Avril Lavigne
"Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" by Katy Perry
"Helena Beat" by Foster the People
"You Make Me Feel..." (feat. Sabi) by Cobra Starship
"Good Feeling by Flo Rida
"I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You " by Black Kids
"Stereo Hearts" (feat. Adam Levine) by Gym Class Heroes
"Moves Like Jagger" by  Maroon 5
"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People
"Rehab" (Remix) by Amy Winehouse
"Blow" (Remix) [feat. B.o.B.] by Ke$ha
"Dance In the Dark" (Monarchy "Stylites" Remix) by Lady GaGa
"Umbrella" (feat. Jay-Z) [Jody den Broeder Lush Club Remix] by Rihanna
"The Sleazy Remix" (feat. Andre 3000) by Ke$ha
"Party Rock Anthem" (Audiobot Remix) [feat. GoonRock & Lauren Bennett] by LMFAO
"Brokenhearted" by Karmin
"Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson

Signs That Baby Is Coming

And, oh no, this baby is not making her debut anytime soon, at least, that's what I thought until today, when the nesting instinct started to kick in..  There have been a few clues that she's on her way, but other missing clues that tell us that she's got some baking time left:

Imminent birth signs I've seen:

1. Baby dropping lower: Lily started dropping down into position a couple of weeks ago, and she's continued to get a little lower.  From what I've read, baby can start to drop in first-time moms a few weeks before birth.  Otherwise, the baby can drop as late as during labor for subsequent pregnancies.
2. Softening of stool: This started three or four weeks ago, not long after I started taking evening primrose oil and an herbal labor prep that the birth center recommends pregnant women start at 34 weeks. According to my midwife, this happens, because the body is making room lower in the body for baby.
3. Increase in vaginal discharge: This started three weeks ago.  According to my midwife, we gotta make it ready for the baby to come out!
4. Stronger/more Braxton-Hicks contractions: There has been more tightening in my abdomen, and some of these contractions have been happening lower, more like menstrual cramps.  Some of the tension has been in my back.

Imminent birth signs to come:

1. Nesting instinct: I am just starting to see this today.  I cleaned my room, and I will not leave anything not put in its place.  This is a sudden burst of energy that causes mom-to-be to clean everything in preparation for the baby, put the crib together, etc.  My mom, who moved down here from Ohio and has been a stay-at-home-preggers-caretaker has done everything, so I don't have much to do.  Next: thank you cards.
2. Bloody show: Some red spotting.  This is an indication that the cervix is starting to dialate, and that labor is imminent in the next couple of days.

Regardless, I am going to wait to see when baby Lily is ready to poke her head out.  The body, and maybe even baby Lily, know when it's time for her to be born.

Labor As An Initiation

People have often asked me if it is weird feeling her move around inside of me.  Not at all.  Movements aren't often felt until after the sixteenth week, so I spent four months waiting to feel kicks and punches, so it's been comforting.  Beyond the moments where she has punched me just a little too hard or jammed her little feetsies into my ribs, every movement just sprouts feelings of love for her and appreciation for the incredible process of growing a child in the womb.  I cannot tell you where in the world my stomach ended up, as there's a baby where that used to be housed.  When I breathe from my diaphragm, it's obvious that I have no idea where that went either.  This little girl that will come into this world with her own spirit started out as just a few cells.  She grew a new brain, new kidneys, a new heart, new lungs, and the code written from the stars into her genes has already started to express her personality.  It hasn't even really started, and yet, it's already been an incredible journey for us both.

In the Bradley student workbook, Jay Hathaway, the Co-Executive Director of the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth, asked why not just give birth?  Why do women go through labor?  Hathaway mused on what labor is:

1. A warning sign that a new human life is about to enter the family, community, and this world.
2. A time of physical preparation within and for the mother's body.  
1. To prepare to give birth.
2. To prepare to become a mother.
3.  A physical preparation for the baby's body for being born, changing from an intrauterine life to an extraunterine life.
4. A period of time to assist the mother to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally) for giving up the status of "pregnant woman" and for accepting the responsibilities of mothering a newborn.
5. A period of time to assist the baby to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally) for the "first day of the rest of his or her life."

This really struck me.  Labor is a period of time to assist the mother to grow and change psychologically (emotionally and mentally).  Long story short, labor is an initiation.  It is a physical, emotional, and mental initiation of the maiden into motherhood.  It is a physical, emotional, and mental initiation of the child from fetus to newborn.  Just as many spiritual traditions guide people through initiations from students to members, labor is a transformation.  It is an experience that no one can fully prepare you for.  You just have to experience it yourself.  There is this club called motherhood, and one way to be initiated into that club is to grow from seed and harvest something the size of a squash out of your who-ha.  And, from what I hear (because I haven't been initiated into motherhood just yet), there is this transformation that could be described as a form of enlightenment.  It's been said to me several times on this journey that after this big ordeal of labor, in the moment new mothers connect with their newborns, they realize that the most important thing is their child and their family.  They refocus their priorities, and suddenly the things that seemed so important don't really matter. 

And, because of all of this, maybe it is a spiritual initiation for some.  For me, I do see this birth as a very spiritual experience.  Like all women, I am a manifestation of the feminine divine, which can be seen as the Maiden, Mother, and Crone, mirroring three phases of a woman's life.  By having a natural birth, I am reenacting an ancient tradition, an ancient initiation of maidens into mothers. 

Mentally Preparing for Birth

37.5 Weeks

I am down to the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy.  I am so very excited to meet little miss Lily Anne.  I cannot wait to spend the first days of her life cuddled up in bed with her as the breeze washes over us and the sunlight greets us. 

Some of the women from my birth class have been sharing their birth stories, which got me a little anxious.  A couple of them planned to have their babies in the same birth center in which I'm going to birth Lily, but they both ended up transferring to the hospital as the result of exhaustion.  I listened to their birth stories, hoping to glean clues about what they could have done differently to have their babies in the birth center.

To get my brain back on the right wavelength, I spent last week browsing my Bradley student manual and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. The hospital was creeping into my visualizations of Lily's birth, so I rewateched Orgasmic Birth to fill my head with images of pleasant, natural births.  I continued listening to my Hypnobabies CD's to bring my awareness back to the fact that what I believe about my birth time is the most likely to manifest.  I had to roll my brain back to visualizing MY birth story as I want it to be, not as I fear it to be.

The Bradley Method says that if you think you're in labor, do five things: eat, drink, nap, shower, and take a walk.  To try to prevent exhaustion in labor, I hope to go to sleep when I think that labor has started.  To try to not pay attention too soon.  It's going to be just another day, but when it's over, there will be a wonderful new Lily in the world.

No-Boil Cheese Lasagna

Oh. My. Goodness. It was the best cheese lasagna I had ever made.  So good, I almost ate it before I took a picture of it to show you.  It's made from whole grains, has lots of omega 3 fatty acids from the grass-fed ricotta cheese, and it's high in fat, protein, and calcium to boot.  Because we accidentally bought these no-boil noodles, it only took 5 minutes to put together.  What?  No-boil noodles?  That's right, my mom read the instructions on how to prepare the noodles and found out that there's such a thing.  Who reads instructions on pasta?  Not this girl.  Thank goodness someone in our house reads instructions.

Lasagna is usually better reheated, because of all of the water in the noodles and the pasta sauce.  However, these no-boil noodles soak up the excess water from the pasta sauce, and it comes out of the oven perfect.  I sort of threw a couple of recipes together.  We kinda used this linked recipe to help with the no-boil noodles and came up with this:

• 9 x 9 dish
• 6 organic, whole-grain no-boil lasagna noodles
• 15 oz organic, grass-fed, whole milk ricotta chese
• 8 oz organic, shredded mozzarella cheese (but, save a little for the top)
• 1/4 grated parmesan cheese (plus some extra for the top)
• 2 organic, free-range, vegetarian-fed eggs
• 1 jar organic tomato basil pasta sauce

Mix the mozerella cheese (saving a little for the top), ricotta cheese, parmesan cheese, and eggs in a bowl.  Place two dry lasagna noodles on the bottom of the 9 x 9 dish, and completely coat the noodles with about 1/4 to 1/3 of the jar of pasta sauce.  Layer on 1/2 of the cheese mix.  Layer with two more dry lasagna noodles, 1/4 to 1/3 of the pasta sauce, then the rest of the cheese mix.  Top the dish off with the last two dry lasagna noodles and 1/4 to 1/3 of the pasta sauce.  Then, sprinkle any mozzarella cheese that you saved, plus some extra parmesan cheese.

Toss in the oven at 350 degrees for an hour (or until the cheese on top starts to brown).