Connecting With Baby

Here are some things I have been doing or plan to do to connect with Lily before she's born:

• Reading: I have been reading some of my favorite stories to Lily on a regular basis.  From the special edition Winnie the Pooh books that my dad brought home when we were little that I dug out of my baby box to a fairy tale book that I picked up at a local consignment shop, I love to read to her before I fall asleep. (Cortney said that her baby room was Winnie the Pooh when she was a little babe!  Yay!)
• Singing: I have been singing my favorite songs to Lily.  I sing to her at work and in the car.
• Talking: A coworker of mine said that him and his wife talked to their son, Kento, all of the time while he was in the womb.  They described to him what they were doing.  After 26 weeks, babies have more developed hearing and can recognize the voices of the people who have been around them the most.
• Meditation: Taking a few moments to tune out the rest of the world and just put the minds eye in the womb to sit with Lily.  I often wonder what her days are like, what she feels, and if she's happy.
• Pausing: When I feel her kick or move, I pause to say hello.
• Altar: I created a baby altar as a place to connect with Lily.  I continue to add to the altar, including the friendship stone that Kali brought back from Canada for Lily.
• Prayer: In the mornings, I light a candle as a prayer for health, safety, and/or love for baby Lily on her altar.
• Memory Book: I picked up a Winnie the Pooh memory book for Lily in which to begin recording notes.
• Time capsule: Gather some items and put them into a container to be opened at a later time.  I plan to do this, and here are some of my ideas of what to put into it: pictures of preggers mom, family, and friends, letters from family, pregnancy diary, tape measure with belly size marks, money with year printed on it, picture of the place we live when she's born, list of popular songs, and list of predictions for what our life will be like or the world will be like when we open it.
• The Places You'll Go: Not something to complete before birth, but a really neat concept that can be applied to various ideas.  I heard on the radio last month about a dad who spent 13 years collecting messages from his daughter's favorite teachers in a copy of Dr. Seuss' Oh the Places You'll Go to give to her for graduation. 
• Letters: My friend Norma said that she writes a letter to her daughter every year and she collects letters from various people in her family.  They tell Shaadi about what was going on that year.
• Nesting: A great way to connect with Lily has just been getting ready for her to make her debut.  Thinking about what we needed was scary at first, but all of this helps me visualize our life together and holding her in my arms.

Add notes to a jar about good things that have happened during pregnancy.
Put those notes in a scrapbook, memory book, or frame when baby is born.

Original note jar idea from pintrest.com: "Start the year with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that happen. Then, on New Year's Eve, empty it and see what awesome stuff happened that year."

Lily has a huge extended family, and they have connected with her by:

• Talking to her,
• Talking to her in funny voices (Cortney!),
• Spoiling her with goodies,
• Offering second hand baby items,
• Offering to come help with baby after birth,
• Researching baby stuff and sending me links,
• Feeding mama and baby, 
• Sending their love, and 
• Dropping everything to be there for us when we needed support.

Lily will certainly know that she is loved.

End of the 2nd Trimester

My 2nd trimester is coming to a close this week.  I cannot believe that it's already been 29 weeks.  It was six months ago, at 6 weeks, that I had my first sonogram.  Here is a summary of some of the amazing things I've learned about birth so far:

Getting ready for birth:

• Instinctively eating all of these foods with fat, protein, salt, and other specific nutrients was super awesome for baby!
• A prenatal vitamin and fish oil are two daily must-haves.  I was resistant to supplements at first, but found a good whole food supplement I was okay with taking.
• Water is essential, because our bodies need it to make more blood for the baby.  And, dehydration can cause preterm labor.
• Regular light/moderate exercise, even if just walking, can make for an easier birth.
• Kegels, pelvic tilts, squats, and tailor sitting are all daily exercises that can get your body in shape in the right places for birth.
• There are two teas that are super awesome for pregnancy: nettle and red raspberry leaf.
• Coconut oil and baking soda make an awesome (and messy) natural deodorant.
• Raw honey is a secret acne weapon, and perfect for a natural face treatment.
• Routine sonograms aren't necessary.  I could go for the initial sonogram and then get another one at 20 weeks to see how baby is doing. 
• Chiropractic care during pregnancy will help align the pelvis and make for an easier birth.
• There are many ways to minimize varicose veins during pregnancy.
• It's better to be a single mom than to live with an abusive partner.

During birth:

• Giving birth takes an average of 18 hours for first-time moms, so don't rush to the hospital or birth center when you know it's time.  If you're sleeping, go back to sleep.  If not, keep going on about your day as usual.
• Drugs during labor often only put off pain until later.  Also, mom and baby are often so out of it afterwards that they can have trouble connecting and breastfeeding at first.
• Keep low light in the birth room.
• Hypnosis can be used to have a relaxing and possibly pain-free birth.
• Relaxation is the key to minimizing pain during labor. 
• Laying on your back during birth can create the most work for the body.  Moms should follow their intuition 
• Don't be afraid to touch baby's head as it crowns, and don't be afraid to use a mirror to see the baby's head.
• When the baby is born, immediately place it on the mother's chest.  
• The baby's first glance at the mother will help instinctual bonding.
• Many babies are able to immediately begin to breastfeed.
• Don't wash the baby at birth, and rub the vernix into the skin.

After birth:

• Breastfeeding is awesome!  There are so many disadvantages to formula when compared to breast milk.  Breastfeeding is really magickal.
• Babies can learn a few pieces of sign language to communicate their needs before they can learn to speak.
• We can start potty training newborns using elimination communication.   
• Picking out a cloth diaper is hard work.
• Some people choose to not vaccinate their children.  Others choose to space out vaccines over a graduated schedule.
• Babies depend on us to meet all of their needs.  Since babies' wants and needs are the same at this point, the recommendation is changing from letting a baby cry to teach independence towards keeping baby happy.
• There are many more cosleeping parents that I realized.  Babies and parents find separation hard, and being next to one another at night often feels right. If done properly, this can actually be safer for baby, make feeding easier, and everyone can get more sleep.

It is amazing to enter the third trimester.  I cannot believe how far Lily and I have come.  I love her so much.

Crib Shopping with Dad

Baby shopping is scary.  So scary, my dad had to drive down from Ohio to help get me started.  It's scary, because:

• I am not a gifty person in general.
• There are too many choices!
• What about all of the safety considerations?!
• I won't really know what Lily needs until she is born. 
• Some of the stuff is too cute, but unnecessary.
• Pregnant brain makes thinking hard.
• I have to plan for an apartment that I haven't found yet.
• I am nervous about over-buying.
• I am nervous about buying things that folks will buy or pass along second hand. 
• Then, I'm nervous about losing the receipts!
• Every list of what you might need for baby is different.
• There are many things that can wait until later.
• Space is an issue right now and in our new home.
• I might pick out something now, but find something better later.
• I don't want to spend a lot of money on things that we'll only use for a couple of months or not at all.

SCARY!

Now, some of this seems silly to moms who have been through all of this.  Feel free to get a good giggle.  Dad was doing safety research on cribs and other big ticket items.  He couldn't find much information, besides the fact that dropside cribs were banned in 2011, and that wasn't a concern since those aren't even permitted to be resold. That doesn't mean that someone won't try to resell them on Craiglist or at a garage sale, but at least we knew that we should avoid them if we did see them.  According to the Consumer Produce Safety Commission, "A consumer should not resell, donate or give away a crib that does not meet the new crib standards, such as trying to resell the product through an online auction site or donating to a local thrift store. CPSC recommends disassembling the crib before discarding it."  While that was a relief, that didn't narrow the search down.

Dad and I hit Babies R Us on Saturday.  We made a b-line for the baby sleeping stuff.  I want to try to cosleep, so should we buy a crib, bassinet, or cosleeper?

Bassinet

Bassinet - a sort of cradle that looks really cute and homey.  These ran from around $79 to $199. Most were good for newborns through 15 lbs (around 3 months)

Co sleeper

Co sleeper - a bassinet that can attach to a bed, so that baby sleeps close to you.  The one at Babies R Us was around $159.  Good for newborns through 15 lbs (around 3 months)
 

Graco Lauren Convertible Crib

Cribs - There were lots of choices.  Some were relatively inexpensive ($130 to $199) and others were just through the roof ($399 to $599).  There wasn't much difference between the cribs.  Most of them went against the wall.  After realizing that most bassinets and co sleepers were really just for the first three months, Dad and I opted for just getting a crib.

• How much do we want to spend on a crib?
• High back for against the wall, or accessible from both sides?
• Some cribs covert to toddler beds, day beds, and full size beds.  For $89 and a mattress, that crib could be a  kid's bed when we're ready. 
• Cherry, white, espresso, or natural color?
• Wheels or no wheels? 

Ikea Crib

 For good measure, Dad and I trekked up to Ikea to see what their options were.  I remember there being lots of kids stuff, and I usually buy affordable furniture from Ikea.  But, the only choice was a really cheap-feeling option for $119.  That didn't seem to stand up to the few good models we saw under $200 at Babies R Us.  So, we went back to Babies R Us to make a final decision.  Yes, we could have looked on the internet, but we found it really helped us to be able to touch the cribs, and the Ikea question would have really loomed in my head.  We could really feel for the difference in sturdiness from one crib to another.

We were sure that we were going to go with the Graco bed above.  But, we thought about it, and how I might like to have the crib up next to the bed at times.  So, it might be good to have one that was accessible from both sides.  However, I did really like the idea of the convertible full size bed.  It seemed like for our price range, we couldn't get both with the choices in front of us.  So, we opted for the crib accessible from both sides.

We purchased the  Delta Sedona crib.  Ta-da!

Cortney's Green Smoothie

I've been needing to get more vegetables into my daily routine.  Cortney, my birth coach and doula, makes these green smoothies, so she made me one and taught me how to do it.  At first, I was like, "Ewwwwww, get that green thing away from me." But, they are actually really yummy.  It's much better than trying to eat raw kale, for sure.

Today's Smoothie:

• Handful of Kale, Chard, and Spinach (she buys a lettuce mix)
• 1 Apple
• 1 Peach
• Chia seeds (presoaked)
• Flax seeds
• Ice

Yesterday's Smoothie:

• Handful of Kale, Chard, and Spinach
• 1 Apple
• Vanilla

Thanks, Cortney!

Bradley Class #5 - First Stage Labor

This class focused on how our body works during labor, what to expect during vaginal exams, practice contractions, and an overview of what happens during labor.

Early first stage labor brings on excitement and wondering if this is it, but not sure.  Women tend to get anxious.  Might have bloody show, urinate frequently, have a runny nose, or several bowel movements.  Contractions are around 10 minutes apart, peak around 30 seconds, and last for 45 to 60 seconds total.  Keep busy and don't become too excited.  Walking helps to open the inlet of the pelvis. 

First stage labor comes with acceptance and knowing that this is definitely it.   Women try different positions to find what works best.  May be hungry.  May be able to move and talk during contractions, which are becoming stronger and more frequent.  Mom needs support and reassurance, and she shouldn't be separated from her coach from this point on.  Conserving energy is important.

Late first stage labor brings seriousness and a "do not disturb" attitude.  Moms lose modesty, and the clothes start to come off.  May need to lie down and appear to be sleeping.  May no longer be hungry.  Contractions are more intense.  It's hard work.  Relaxation is the key.

Moms and coaches can talk to care providers about how many vaginal exams they do during labor.  Some doctors actually recommend against having vaginal exams routinely and/or if the bag of waters has broken.

What vaginal exams measure:

• Dialation of the cervix (up to 10cm)
• Presentation (i.e. position)
• Effacement of the cervix (i.e. thinning around baby's head, from 0% to 100%)
• Station (i.e. position of the baby's head relative to the ischial spines)

 The dirty about vaginal exams:

• Invasive and uncomfortable
• Can expose vaginal area to bacteria, risk of infection
• Practitioners use fingers to measure dialation
• Two practitioners can get different results
• Can be depressing for mom (i.e. not as far along as hoped, etc.)
• Can lead to false information (guestamations)

Babies should be in a head-down position facing your back (Occiput Anterior).  We talked about various ways to turn a breech baby:

•  Stay in a "cat" position with chest down toward ground for a few minutes a day.
• http://spinningbabies.com
• External version (manually turn baby, typically unsuccessful)

Bradley Class #4 - The Coach's Role

 The loving encouragement from a trained coach can do more for the comfort and relaxation of his wife than any amount of medication. - Dr. Robert A. Bradley

 The Bradley birth method is a partner-coached natural birth method.  This meaning that the birthing mother has a support system around her to help her relax, manage pain, and keep up her strength.  Coaches should be:

• enthusiastic, 
• committed, 
• strong, 
• understanding, and 
• a relaxation expert.

Relaxation is key to the Bradley method.  The premise being that tension creates pain.  Birth coaches and moms are encouraged to practice many relaxation techniques together and spend a significant time relaxing each day.  Coaches are also encouraged to be familiar with where mom expresses tension first.  This because every person does it differently, and if the coach recognizes mom tensing up early, then he/she can help mom relax before a pressure wave.

Our Bradley instructor talked about how dads should work to minimize stress in moms' lives.  If there is a bill that needs to be paid, then dad should pay it.  If there is a chore that needs to be done, then dad should do it.  Keeping mom as calm as possible is so very important.  Stress during pregnancy can cause complications and defects in the baby's development.  I started to cry.  There were so many things that had been missing in the first five months of my pregnancy with Lily.  Thank goodness for Kali and Cortney.  And, milkshakes and grass-fed cheeseburgers.

We went around the room to talk about the strengths that we bring to this birth.  Cortney said that her strength was passion and my strength was confidence.  I said that her strength was commitment and excitement and my strength was that if I put my mind to something, I could do it.

We jotted down ways that coaches can enthusiastically encourage moms.  Cortney wrote down that coaches could check exercises and nutrition off of a list.  I said that coaches could ask questions about what mom is doing.  And, that coaches can research birth, too, and that being excited to share information is a big help.

Le Leche League Meeting

Le Leche League (LLL) is an international organization that promotes breastfeeding through local gatherings.  LLL was founded in the 1950's.  Le leche is Spanish for the milk, a name chosen so that women could meet without fear of being judged for breastfeeding. "Our Mission is to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother."

When my journey with baby Lily started, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I felt that it would be so instinctive and natural that I wouldn't need to read any books or connect with any support.  In class, we watched Baby-led Breastfeeding, and I could feel the connection to Lily pour out of me.  I could feel how excited I was to breastfeed.  The hormones and instincts were roaring.  I started reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and my attitude changed.  Reading about breastfeeding helped me feel so much more connected to Lily.  I immediately looked for breastfeeding classes and meetings near me.  I started to look for other classes, too, such as baby care, infant massage, infant CPR, etc., because learning more and more about taking care of baby just makes those loving mothering hormones roll out of me.

So, I end up at this breastfeeding meeting in a small nursery.  Seventeen women, six infants, three toddlers, and one preschooler attended the meeting.  Among them were two little ones who were only three weeks old, as well as two pregnant women (one being me!).  One woman was there with her 30 year-old daughter and her children (three generations!).  One woman did not bring her twins who were born 6 weeks early.  One woman did not bring her little one so they could practice bottle feeding at home, so that she could go into surgery next week.  Several of the women have grown children who they breastfed, and there were a couple of mentions of being members of Le Leche League for 20 to 30 or more years.  A couple of the moms are breastfeeding toddlers of two years and older.  All women are welcome at meetings, and there are three times per year that this chapter invites husbands to attend.

The topic of the meeting was to discuss some of the benefits of breastfeeding.  Excerpts were read from an article written by an LLL founder about how the use of language around breastfeeding impacts it's acceptance in society.  Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, and it's benefits aren't benefits.  They are the status quot.  Instead of looking at benefits of breastfeeding as bonuses, we should look at the disadvantages of formula feeding as handicaps.  For example, we might say that breastfed babies have a better immune system and are sick less, but we should instead say that formula-fed babies have weaker immune systems and are sick more. 

I've mentioned a lot of positive things about breastfeeding that we learned in Bradley class. I learned more new things in conversation at the LLL meeting:

• The hormones released in pregnancy and breastfeeding currently relieve one woman's symptoms of multiple sclerosis.  
• Someone mentioned that not only is a breastfeeding woman at reduced risk for feminine cancers, but a breastfed daughter is also at reduced risk to develop those diseases.
• Breastfeeding women's periods are slower to return.  Several women who exclusively breastfed said that they didn't have a period for a year to 18 months after their little ones were born.

One of the women, in tears, shared her fear that her baby wouldn't eat while she was having surgery next week.  No matter what they did, the little one wouldn't eat from the bottle.  Well, she ate from the bottle just fine at daycare, but when dad, mom, or her aunt fed her at home, she wouldn't take it.  One of the LLL leaders suggested cup feeding the milk to the baby, but the woman said her husband refused to do that.  I didn't catch why.  The women were discussing other trouble shooting options, and one of the leaders opted to connect with her before her surgery.

One interesting note for this mom-to-be: the room was neat and tidy, but by the time the toddlers were done with it, it was a disaster.  LOL!

Feeding the Preggo

Baked Pot

Highlighting some of the foods from this week:

All right, so I don't eat many potatoes, because they are nightshade vegetables and my joints do better without them, and when I read that potatoes were recommended by the Bradley natural birth method (three per week!), I thought to myself "Yeah right."  But, as you can tell by the picture, I've gone to the dark side a few times.  And yes, there's pastured, organic butter, organic cheddar cheese, and organic sour cream slathered all over it.  I've got my major pregnancy food groups in: fat and protein. 

I've been craving them bad lately, and I almost had to bake one while writing this blog post!  Kali keeps telling me that if you microwave the potato for 30 seconds or three minutes (whatever) and then put it in the oven for 30 minutes, that I could have my potato faster.  I tell her to get my potato away from that microwave!  Agh!

Gasp, I know there's a picture of Horizon sour cream, and I stopped buying Horizon ten years ago when the milk tasted as if it wasn't really organic.  There weren't any other organic sour cream options, and since it's now verified organic by an additional third-party organization, I took a chance.  And, it actually taste pretty good!  It doesn't taste like the chemicals the circa 2002 Horizon milk tasted like.  You can tell that a product is certified by another third-party if it lists another certifying company on the back.  Only the USDA certification goes on the front, and their has been some question as to their regulation or standards in recent years.  If there's another organic option, I would opt for that instead.

Chicken and stew in a crockpot.

On Friday night, Kali stuck a whole, organic, free-range chicken in a crock pot.  She had some organic vegetable broth that she threw in there with potatoes and carrots.  She salt and peppered that baby, because that's the only seasoning this pregnant lady can eat right now.  And, that green stuff is kombu, a seaweed that is a left over habit of mine from macrobiotic days.  Usually, I just pull that kombu out after the nutrients soak into the water of whatever I am cooking.  However, we slow cooked this dish so long that the kombu wasn't even noticeable.  I've been taking leftovers for lunch. 

Whole Grain Artisan Bre

I've been eating whole grain toast and using bread to create sandwiches and instead of buns on burgers.  So, Kali whipped out her cookbooks and whipped me up the bread of my choice.  I picked the first standard whole grain loaf that came up.  The recipe looked something like this one.  It is wonderful.  It is one of the healthy items that she can out-do me on.  Even though I can find a fresh-baked, organic, whole grain loaf at Whole Foods that doesn't have a lot of junk it it, it still comes with some ingredients that bread can do without.  So, since Kali loves to bake, she is overjoyed to have a hungry pregnant lady in the house who will gobble up her tasty creations.

Kali brought home some homemade elderberry jam from a friends' house the other night, and that goes wonderfully with this bread. 

Daily Fruit Bowl

Then, there's this wondrous monstrosity to the right.  It's one orange, a handful of grapes, half of a container of strawberries, and two carrots.  If I never have to eat another damn carrot after Lily is born, then I will be a happy woman.  I wish that I'd remember to buy the bananas, and when I do that, I wish I'd remember to take them to work, and then I wish I'd remember to eat them.  I start chowing on this bowl of fruit once I get to work and keep going throughout the whole day. 

Lily is getting bigger every week, so Kali and I are doing a good job of feeding her. Yay!

First Time Mommies Group

 Last night, I went to an introductory meeting for a first-time mommies group.  The group was founded in 2006 when the organizer was 6 months pregnant, new to the area, and feeling alone.  She moved here to help take care of her mother, who was becoming increasingly ill, and this caused a deep depression during her pregnancy. She reached out to others by creating a group and found much-needed support that changed her life.  Support groups like these are wonderful for asking questions, sharing experiences, and being around other people who understand what you're going through.


The large group has more than 1,000 members, and the members are divided into nearly 85 small groups of 12 women or less.  The organizer gets information about new members' due dates, locations, and whether they are staying home or going back to work after the baby is born.  Women are placed in groups with people who are due around the same time.  Then those groups get together to support each other through pregnancy.  When the babies are born, there is already a built in play group.  Wonderful!

I am going to be placed in a group with women going back to work who are due between October and December.  I connected with Mona, who is due in December, and we're going to be in the same group.  She is going back to work after the baby is born, because she's afraid that she will loose the ability to advance in her career.  From the women at the intro meeting, we are the only two going back to work after our babies are born. 

Love For This Baby

The more my belly grows, the more I feel her move, and the more I prepare for her arrival, the deeper I feel connected with Lily. I held two babies last week, and I cannot wait to hold my baby.  I see pictures and videos of newborn babies and I cannot wait to feel her skin touch my skin.  To gaze into her eyes with mine.  I watch videos, read books, and browse articles about breastfeeding, and I cannot wait to spend that time connecting with this little baby.  Watching her sleep.  Helping her eat.  Letting her do her thing.  I want to smell her.  I want to cuddle her.  I want to fill my world with her.  I want to love her with everything I have in me.  I cannot wait to spend every day of the rest of my life giving her everything she needs to be the best person possible, whoever she grows up to be.

I have been reading the baby book that my mom kept for me when I was little.  She spent several years pouring details about the first moments of my life onto the pages of those book.  The effort that it took to remember to stop and write down a few things is enormous.  It shows just how much she loved me.  That her love for me could have started like my love for Lily.

At my last Bradley class, we watched a short video of a natural birth.  These folks started shooting video when they saw a positive pregnancy test.  We watched her tummy grow from month to month.  Seeing her naked pregnant body made me break down and cry.  To know that there was a little Lily growing inside of her, too.  And, waiting for the image of when she looked the same amount of preggers that I do.  For when she looked like me! And, the emotions were overflowing by the time she was near term and she showed me what I could look like in a couple of months.  Big, beautiful, with baby bursting out the front.  There's a baby in there!  I'm going to look like that soon.  Wait, there's a baby in here, too!

Then, I realize who was shooting the video of this beautiful pregnant woman.  It was her husband.  A husband we would see with her every step of the way.  A husband who was right there with her when she needed help the most. The way her husband looked at her as he was helping to bring their baby into the world.  I don't think that I can watch all of these natural birth videos without breaking down with these loving husbands when I got conned out of my fairy tale. It was a few days before this when I realized that Baby Daddy could have never wanted to be a father. That his want of a child didn't come from a place of love. If daddies love their babies just as much as mommies, no man who really wanted a family and really loved his child would have ever done what he did to us and put Lily through what he put her through before she was even born.

What will  make it all better is when I feel her skin on my skin.  It vibrates through every part of my spirit that once I feel her skin touch my skin, everything will be okay.  I love her more than anything.  I am so excited for the day that I get to meet her.

Bradley Class #3 - Pregnancy

In today's Bradly natural birth class, we talked about gestation and anatomy, we addressed some common issues in pregnancy that can make women uncomfortable, and we talked about the coach preparing for birth day.  A local chiropractor also came in to talk about prenatal chiropractic care.  And, we watched a natural birth video.

Some of the common pregnancy problems experienced by members of our class include heartburn, easily bleeding gums, nose bleeds, fatigue, and sleeping problems.  We addressed some ways to alleviate these issues.  For example, the gal with heartburn could identify and avoid the offending food, engage in moderate exercise, eat some acid-neutralizing foods like yogurt or papaya, avoid carbonated drinks (because they exacerbate the situation), or walk after meals.

We spent time talking about coaching challenges.  The Bradley natural birth method is a heavily partner-coached method.  Partners are encouraged to participate in as much of the process as possible, from attending classes and helping with nutrition, to helping with exercises and helping get mom everything she needs on baby's birth day.

What arrangements have you made so that you will be available during the birth time?

Cortney has been talking to Lily to ask her not to be born until after October 11th, because she will be out of town until then.  I will be 40 weeks on October 16th, and first babies are often born around 41 weeks anyway.  Cortney has also told her employer that at any time around then, she will need to drop whatever she is doing and come to the birth center, even if she's training away.

Cortney and I also chatted about having Kali and my mom as backup coaches.  This so that someone is there until Cortney arrives, and so that Cortney can take breaks.

What can you do to conserve energy during labor?

Cortney can sleep when I sleep, keep hydrated, and keep herself fed.  She can make sure to sleep well in the nights before the birth time.

What coaching aids will you need to have with you during labor?

Ideas from class: music, movies, blankets, pillows, lotions, massagers, heat pack, cool pack, birth ball.

Staying Out of the Heat

So, there's this heat advisory.  I've opted out of a couple of events this summer, because I just knew that would be exhausted and I couldn't stand to be outside in 100 degree heat for more than a few minutes.  Let's face it: I have trouble walking from the car to the grocery store when it's 95 degrees.  Even though I thought I was okay, we changed plans tonight from going to a sporting event to making dinner at home because of the heat and the risk that posed this pregnant lady.  This especially since it is still going to be 100 degrees at 7pm.  Lauren, a friend of mine and massage therapist, mentioned that the spa in which she works doesn't have air conditioning right now, and if it was still down this morning, she'd have to cancel two prenatal massage appointments because of the risk the heat would pose to pregnant clients.

When pregnant women are exposed to situations that raise the body temperature too much, especially in early pregnancy, it can put the baby at greater risk for birth defects.  This would include being out in the heat, in a hot car, hot tubs, steaming hot baths saunas, electric blankets, electric heating pads, etc.  From one article about pregnant women being more susceptible to heat exhaustion and dehydration:

"When a pregnant woman is exposed to extreme temperatures and begins exhibiting symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke, she runs the risk of harming her own health and that of her baby.  In the worst case, the mother may experience pre-term labor or even death,” says Dr. Terrie Thomas, Obstetrician/Gynecologist at Woman’s Hospital.

 According to livestrong.com:

If heat cramps go ignored, they may lead to heat exhaustion, a potentially life-threatening condition for both mother and baby. Symptoms are similar to heat stroke: headache, dizziness, and a fast and weak pulse. The skin many times becomes pale and feels cool to the touch. Pregnant women should contact their doctor or midwife if contractions, serious cramps or vomiting are also present.

In the DC Urban Mom forum, there were many stories of women pregnant and/or families coming home from the hospital to no power.  No air conditioning.  A coworker of mine is 37 weeks pregnant and was without power for five days.  My birth coach and doula, Cortney, has a friend who had twins before the storm and came home to a house without power.  I cannot imagine having to finish growing a baby or bringing home a newborn while struggling to keep cool.  My thoughts are with those families in this hot, potentially dangerous time.

Hypnobabies Class #1

Hypnobabies is a birth class that builds on natural birth methodology by using self-hypnosis as the primary pain management tool.  In fact, it replaces words like "pain" and "labor" with "pressure waves" and "birth time" as a mechanism for training the brain to have a positive, easy birth experience.  When I first got pregnant, I started reading birth stories.  Some of them were painless birth stories that sited using self-hypnosis. The two main programs for self-hypnosis through birth are Hypnobirth and Hypnobabies.

Of course, I'm going to employ tools to have a happy and easy birth.  So, I ordered the Hypnobabies home study course.  It suggests that you have two months to go through the course materials and practice.  I didn't realize until I started going through the course that it advises to not do Hypnobabies with another birth class, even Bradley.  The reasoning is that those classes have stories of worst case scenarios and/or talk about managing pain.  The Hypnobabies program is supposed to work more effectively if mom is completely relaxed, expecting no pain, and has 100% confidence in the self-hypnosis tools.  The founder of the Hypnobabies program used to teach the Bradley birth method and much of the same material is supposed to be included.  I almost canceled the Bradley course after reading this, but I decided to go ahead and do both.    Since Baby Daddy won't be my birth coach, I felt that going through the Bradley class in person would connect Cortney and I together in this process.  And, that is so true.  I really do feel like it is already helping us to be a better team on Lily's birth day.  Then, it becomes a situation where I am adding hypnosis tools to the Bradley class, not the other way around.  I am also really thankful for the 12 week Bradley format and getting to check in with folks every week.  It keeps me accountable.

The two main components of the home study course is a workbook and CD's.  Two tracks are supposed to be listened to daily.  One track is a set of daily affirmations that runs 30 minutes.  The other track is one of the self-hypnosis tracks that also runs about 30 minutes.  Only one affirmation track can be listened to while driving.  Everything else is done through invoking a hypnotic state.

The program uses affirmations to change patterns of thinking.  The joyful affirmations CD is focused on creating a positive, healthy, and safe image of birth for a mother.  It is essential that we relax during the birth process.  Fear causes tension in the muscles, and tense muscles don't allow the uterus and rest of the body to function properly, so that causes pain.  A relaxed, calm birth will be less painful to the mother.  Hypnobabies goes one step further to encourage the body to release its own anesthesia into the body.  According to our Bradley instructor and the Hypnobabies workbook, birthing mammals instinctively seek out a dark, isolated, and quiet space in which to birth.  And then, they mimic sleeping while giving birth.  Humans can simulate this state by breathing deeply from our abdomen while making sure to completely relax.

This is starting off to be a great class.  I am working to make Lily's birth the most positive, happy, easy birth day possible.  I won't be disappointed if the plan has to change.  I can only do my best now and when the time comes to meet her.

Protein, Greens, and Orange

Kali, the good friend with whom I am living, has adopted me like her own child and treats the coming of Lily as the coming of one of her own grandchildren.  I am blessed to have such wonderful support so close to home.  When we are both going to be home for dinner, we make a point to create something yummy that is full of protein, fat, and veggies.  It's my job to buy the groceries and Kali's job to whip up something yummy.  Kali is trying to give me simple cooking ideas, so that when I move out, I can make more than just eggs and turkey sandwiches.

This plate is last night's creation: baked chicken, glazed carrots, and spring mix.  Kali humored the crunchy pregnant lady by picking up an organic, pasture-raised, grass-fed, antibiotic-free chicken.  Seasoning it with salt and pepper (still all I can handle as far as seasoning) and rubbing it with olive oil, she stuck two pats of organic, pastured butter under the skin.  Kali was telling me that the butter under the skin makes the meat moist, and that it did.  She sliced and sauteed carrots in butter and the organic, fair trade brown sugar that she picked up (to humor me).  And, then we piled a bunch of salad on our plates.  It was all so very yummy!  We're building us a baby!

Sh*t Chrunchy Mamas Say...

Cortney, my doula and birth coach, shared this video a few weeks ago, and it is hilariously true.

One thing I'm curious about is eating the placenta.  The word on the street is that it's supposed to be packed full of nutrients and very healthy.  The birth center I'm using has brochures about placenta encapsulation.  But, I don't think I'm down for that.  I mean, I don't think I could stomach liver, let alone my own placenta.  A super quick internet search doesn't turn up a lot on the benefits of eating the placenta.  So, what are your thoughts on eating the placenta after birth?  Has anyone who reads this blog done that?  Have you heard of anyone burying the placenta in the yard?

Baby-led Breastfeeding

At our Bradley birth class this past weekend, we watched a video on baby-led breastfeeding.  The premise of this approach to breastfeeding is to calm the baby and let the baby find the breast.  Other mammals breastfeed their babies without having to show them where the breast is and guide them.  The video suggested connecting with the baby, laying the baby on your chest, and then letting the baby work his/her way down to the breast.  The video said that there's no hurry, that "we're on baby time."

According to an article originally posted in Today's Parent, after mom has connected with baby:

If he's hungry and ready to eat, the baby will start squirming around, bobbing his head against you, perhaps looking up at your face and making eye contact. He'll then start twisting to one side or even moving quite vigorously, almost throwing himself sideways. "At this point," Smillie says, "the mother's job is just to keep the baby relaxed and comfortable so he can follow through on his instincts. Support his neck and shoulders with one hand and his hips with the other, and just follow him as he moves. Avoid the temptation to try to make him latch on or even to try to line up his mouth with the nipple."

I am so very excited to try this connecting and letting the baby find the breast.  My roommate was just saying yesterday that the reason she loves babies and children is that they are so smart.  That they know what to do and watching them connect the dots is an amazing experience.  I have been watching my body change, and I will say that these breasts are certainly made for feeding this baby, and she needs to come out and do something with them soon!  They have a purpose!  Connecting with baby Lily is going to be so amazing.  I cannot wait!

Breastfeeding is Awesome

A good portion of our second Bradley birth class centered around the benefits of breastfeeding. Years ago, I thought that I would definitely use formula as a result of various things I had heard about breastfeeding. Back then, I was also really sure that I'd want the drugs and to not remember anything about birth. But, in learning that working with nature, instead of against it, can make birth so much easier, it was a no-brainer that the natural option of breastfeeding would be a better choice. It wasn't until I recently met with a friend who just gave birth did I learn a few amazing benefits to breastfeeding. Many of these were reinforced at yesterday's Bradley class. Benefits include:

• Breast milk is free, so it saves money.
• Breastfeeding moms get better sleep.  Breastmilk needs no preparation (it's ready at all times), and you can sleep and feed.
• Breast milk is always the right temperature.
•  Breastfed babies have less upset tummies.  Breast milk as active cultures and is easier for babies to digest.  
• Colostrum, a thick milk produced the week after baby is born, is "liquid gold" that provides baby with so many nutrients and antibodies for a healthy baby.
• Breastfed babies have less allergies to food and environmental conditions.  They get the right food at the right time that their bodies can handle.
• Breast milk has antibacterial properties. Put it on boo-boos to help heal. Our Bradley instructor said that she even put some in the eye of her little one to combat conjunctivitis in the eye. Good for rashes, cradle cap, etc. A little squirtie-squirt, you know...
• Breast-fed babies statistically spend less time in the doctor's office.  They have less illness and less disease.
• Mom and baby share antibodies.  If baby gets sick, breastfeeding will allow mom to produce antibodies to ward off the disease for the baby.  If mom gets sick, it can give the antibodies to the baby, so that the baby doesn't get it.
• Breastfeeding is a baby pain reliever. It is a security blanket for baby. Our Bradley instructor said that there were times where she nursed her kids through shots in the doctor's office, and that really helped them stay calm. 
• Breast feeding is great for brain development. Statistically, children who were breast fed have higher IQ's. Our Bradley instructor commented that this could also be due to the mom's who choose to breastfeed having higher IQ's, so it's possible that it's genetics and not the milk itself.
• Breastfed babies statistically better teeth. It's harder to get milk out of the breast, so the sucking develops a baby's jaw. Better for bite development. And, more natural sugars in breast milk.
• Breastfed babies have less smelly diapers.
• Moms who breastfeed lessen their risk for cancer (ovarian, breast, etc.), and the longer and more children women breastfeed, the less risk they have. Our Bradley instructor commented that cancer tends to attach itself to general cells, and the more women have children and breastfeed, the more of those general cells have purpose.
• Something that really stuck out for Cortney was our instructor's comment that breast milk is said to combat HIV.

I am so excited to spend quality time with baby Lily while breastfeeding. How exciting!

Bradley Birth Class #2 - Nutrition

My doula and birth coach, Cortney, and I went to our second Bradley birth class.  Today's topics included nutrition and breastfeeding.  The Bradley method focuses Dr. Brewer's recommendations for a healthy pregnancy.  This includes milk products, eggs, protein, greens, whole grains, citrus, fats and oils, yellow and orange fruits and veggies, salt to taste, and lots of water.  Some items reinforced about nutrition:

• Good nutrition can almost eliminate risk of pre-eclampsia. 
• Pre-eclampsia is signified by high blood pressure and protein in the urine during pregnancy.  The only way to stop pre-eclampsia is to deliver the baby, no matter when the condition sets on.  The choice is to deliver the baby or the mother will die, even at 20 weeks, 28 weeks, 37 weeks...whenever.
• Make sure to take in 80 to 100 grams of protein per day.  One doctor (I forget his name) did a few studies and women to hit this number were sure not to have pre-eclampsia.
• Getting enough fat in your diet will make your skin stretchy.  This lessons stretch marks and makes the body more able to stretch for delivery.  Even a little fat goes a long way.  And, there are many fat-soluable vitamins that we absorb better when paired with fat.
• Pay attention to nutrient pairings for best absorption.  Calcium is best absorbed with fat.  So, even if drinking skim milk, that needs to be consumed with maybe some buttered toast to best absorb the calcium in the milk.  Either that or switch to a fattier milk.
• Our Bradley instructor emphasized the importance of buying some foods organic, such as the "dirty dozen" and the "clean 15."