Play Date at PB and Jack

This month, my mommy group went to PB and Jack in Fairfax.  It's a great location for toddlers and preschoolers to run around.  They have classes, camps, and an open play area.  You can drop your kids off and get coffee at the snack bar in eyesight of the play area.  Even though most of our babies aren't crawling yet, this place allowed us a space to sit and let our babies roll around on the floor.  Not too many places are suited for popping a squat and letting the squirts roll around.

The older kids are interesting when it comes to babies.  One of the kids kept bringing all of the toys over to us that he thought the babies might play with.  One of the gals asked one of the kids to keep his distance, because he might scare the babies (i.e. don't step on our kids, please), so every 2 minutes after that, he kept coming up to us and asking us if he was still scary.  We moved by the window, and one of the employees made a barricade around us.  That just gave the older kids something to jump on as they were inspecting the babies, lol. 

First Time Mommy Group #2

Today was the first time I had a chance to meet up with the pregnant women in my placement group from my first time mommy meetup.  For their last meeting a few weeks ago, the group went to Clay Cafe Studios and painted pottery.  So today, we stopped by to pick up their finished pieces, and then we went to lunch.

Most of the women in our group are due in October.  One of the gals is due in November and one in December. We are about to gain three new members that are also due in October.  Two of the gals are having twins.  One of the women with twins couldn't make it today, because she is now on bed rest and will be in the hospital because of a condition she developed.  All of us are going back to work after our babies are born.

Regardless of our differences, we have so many things in common right now.  We are all feeling different aches and movements.  We are all getting bombarded with information that we have to sort through.  We all need to buy cribs, car seats, and strollers.  We all have questions.   We are all going through similar experiences.  We all have to make our own decisions on what is best for our own family.  We are all going to need play dates.  We all need other women near us who understand what we're going through.  It might not be a place where I can talk about my choices, but I can talk and ask questions about being a new mom, which is also so very important.  For example, we've got a gal in our group who needs to be entertained in the hospital for the next two months with 11 fast pregnant friends who are all too willing to entertain, because it could be any of us.

I live in my natural birth bubble most of the time, and I forget that most women don't view life this way.  Out of the six of us there today, I am the only one delivering with a midwife and not in a hospital.  Most of the other women in the group are nervous or scared of birth.  I am very confident that my body can do what it was designed to do.  My mantra is that I am going to squat, she's gonna pop out, and that is it. Several of them expressed that they didn't care how the baby came out, just as long as he/she was able to get out. Where the last conversation coming out of my birth class was about other members of the class finding a doctor that would work with an alternative vaccine schedule, the mommy group women talked about how many of them had just gotten boosters and to make sure that everyone that came into contact with the baby had been vaccinated.

Just a side note about Clay Cafe Studios, which is a very neat concept. You can make a reservation or just drop in.  You pick out a piece of pottery, paint it, and then within 10 days, the pieces are ready to be picked up.  There were little banks, plates, and all sorts of things to paint.  I love getting folks coffee mugs, and they had mugs there that could be personalized.  And, even martini and margarita glasses, too!  They had set up the back room for a birthday party. And, a dad had taken his daughter in to pick out something to paint for mom's birthday.  How neat!

Le Leche League Meeting

Le Leche League (LLL) is an international organization that promotes breastfeeding through local gatherings.  LLL was founded in the 1950's.  Le leche is Spanish for the milk, a name chosen so that women could meet without fear of being judged for breastfeeding. "Our Mission is to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother."

When my journey with baby Lily started, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I felt that it would be so instinctive and natural that I wouldn't need to read any books or connect with any support.  In class, we watched Baby-led Breastfeeding, and I could feel the connection to Lily pour out of me.  I could feel how excited I was to breastfeed.  The hormones and instincts were roaring.  I started reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and my attitude changed.  Reading about breastfeeding helped me feel so much more connected to Lily.  I immediately looked for breastfeeding classes and meetings near me.  I started to look for other classes, too, such as baby care, infant massage, infant CPR, etc., because learning more and more about taking care of baby just makes those loving mothering hormones roll out of me.

So, I end up at this breastfeeding meeting in a small nursery.  Seventeen women, six infants, three toddlers, and one preschooler attended the meeting.  Among them were two little ones who were only three weeks old, as well as two pregnant women (one being me!).  One woman was there with her 30 year-old daughter and her children (three generations!).  One woman did not bring her twins who were born 6 weeks early.  One woman did not bring her little one so they could practice bottle feeding at home, so that she could go into surgery next week.  Several of the women have grown children who they breastfed, and there were a couple of mentions of being members of Le Leche League for 20 to 30 or more years.  A couple of the moms are breastfeeding toddlers of two years and older.  All women are welcome at meetings, and there are three times per year that this chapter invites husbands to attend.

The topic of the meeting was to discuss some of the benefits of breastfeeding.  Excerpts were read from an article written by an LLL founder about how the use of language around breastfeeding impacts it's acceptance in society.  Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby, and it's benefits aren't benefits.  They are the status quot.  Instead of looking at benefits of breastfeeding as bonuses, we should look at the disadvantages of formula feeding as handicaps.  For example, we might say that breastfed babies have a better immune system and are sick less, but we should instead say that formula-fed babies have weaker immune systems and are sick more. 

I've mentioned a lot of positive things about breastfeeding that we learned in Bradley class. I learned more new things in conversation at the LLL meeting:

• The hormones released in pregnancy and breastfeeding currently relieve one woman's symptoms of multiple sclerosis.  
• Someone mentioned that not only is a breastfeeding woman at reduced risk for feminine cancers, but a breastfed daughter is also at reduced risk to develop those diseases.
• Breastfeeding women's periods are slower to return.  Several women who exclusively breastfed said that they didn't have a period for a year to 18 months after their little ones were born.

One of the women, in tears, shared her fear that her baby wouldn't eat while she was having surgery next week.  No matter what they did, the little one wouldn't eat from the bottle.  Well, she ate from the bottle just fine at daycare, but when dad, mom, or her aunt fed her at home, she wouldn't take it.  One of the LLL leaders suggested cup feeding the milk to the baby, but the woman said her husband refused to do that.  I didn't catch why.  The women were discussing other trouble shooting options, and one of the leaders opted to connect with her before her surgery.

One interesting note for this mom-to-be: the room was neat and tidy, but by the time the toddlers were done with it, it was a disaster.  LOL!

First Time Mommies Group

 Last night, I went to an introductory meeting for a first-time mommies group.  The group was founded in 2006 when the organizer was 6 months pregnant, new to the area, and feeling alone.  She moved here to help take care of her mother, who was becoming increasingly ill, and this caused a deep depression during her pregnancy. She reached out to others by creating a group and found much-needed support that changed her life.  Support groups like these are wonderful for asking questions, sharing experiences, and being around other people who understand what you're going through.


The large group has more than 1,000 members, and the members are divided into nearly 85 small groups of 12 women or less.  The organizer gets information about new members' due dates, locations, and whether they are staying home or going back to work after the baby is born.  Women are placed in groups with people who are due around the same time.  Then those groups get together to support each other through pregnancy.  When the babies are born, there is already a built in play group.  Wonderful!

I am going to be placed in a group with women going back to work who are due between October and December.  I connected with Mona, who is due in December, and we're going to be in the same group.  She is going back to work after the baby is born, because she's afraid that she will loose the ability to advance in her career.  From the women at the intro meeting, we are the only two going back to work after our babies are born.