My Family and the Organic Preggo

Last weekend, my mom moved to Virginia.  My brother, nephew, and Dad were in tow to help out.  Here we are sitting around a makeshift table that my mom put together.  She took the milk crates she used for storage and placed the wrapped Ikea side table on top, so that we had a place to eat dinner as a family.  This after my dad made a dash to Home Depot to pick up some patio chairs.  We haven't yet bought a dining set.

This makeshift table illustrates one of the dozens of reasons why my mom is so amazing and why it will make such a huge difference to have her with me and Lily.   My mom is one of the most crafty and resourceful people that I know.  She can take junk and turn it into works of art.  She'll take trash and turn it into functional furniture.  And, she won't be deterred by my green, hippie work-arounds for me and Baby Lily.  That is, as long as she still gets to use the microwave.

After we ate, Dad had a list of projects that he wanted to get done.  He wanted to get cleaning supplies to wipe down the walls, fix the front door, fix the back door, and put together as much furniture as he could.   The maids only did a standard cleaning, not a move out cleaning, which is fine with me, because we could use eco cleaners on everything.

My dad would just wipe the walls down with bleach.  However, organic preggo here wouldn't have it.  We had to drive to Whole Foods to buy the eco-friendly, non-toxic, plant-based cleaners. I didn't realize how skeptical my family was about the eco cleaners.  That is, until they talked about how well they cleaned, and how surprised they were at how they smelled like they would actually clean stuff. 

My dad brought up painting a couple of times.  I started by nodding and saying "okay, we'll think about it."  But, the third time it came up, I tried to politely explain that we couldn't paint while I was pregnant or when the baby was young.  That I'd rather just leave the walls as-is.  BabyCenter.com talks about types of paints to avoid while pregnant, and some companies do make a more eco-friendly, no-VOC (volatile organic compound) paint.  But, since I tend to avoid as many chemicals as possible, I'd just rather not paint right now.  I mean, I'm the kinda gal who takes her own liquid soap into the bathroom at work.

I needed to completely adjust my communication style.  My mom asked about hanging up some air fresheners in our closets.  I knew that it wasn't obvious to her just how many chemicals those air fresheners leached into the air.  I thought about it for a moment, and I realized that we were going to have these conversations over and over.  It wasn't a bad thing, but most folks aren't going to realize where green hippies would see danger, and I was nervous about coming off as bitchy.  My response would normally be unintentionally snooty, "I won't use that."  Or, "Not in my room."  It's important to be as least offensive to my mom as possible while politely declining what I see as a toxic option.  It's also important for me to clue her in when I'd prefer a green alternative, or that a green alternative actually exists for whatever option, as she's going to be doing a lot of the shopping for the house.  So, when it comes up, I decided to say, "I prefer a green option.  If there isn't one, then I prefer nothing at all (or the conventional option)."

Dad wanted to get everything done before he left.  He has been so helpful, and he doesn't want to leave us with a mess.  I had to keep reassuring him that we have a huge support group, and lots of people are coming to help out with the move.  Yay family!

Making Babies and The Bulk Herb Store

Awhile back, I wrote about some teas for pregnancy and how I ordered the herbs to make those teas online from a website called the Bulk Herb Store.  I chose this company, because they offered many reasonably-priced organic herbs and the company seemed to be family-run.  And then today, I came across a blog that reviewed a DVD and book set called Making Babies, which was put together by Shoshanna from the Bulk Herb Store.  In her description of Making Babies, her approach to birth seem in line with mine. The more steps I take to incorporate natural and holistic principles into my life, the more connected I feel to companies who carry with them some similar beliefs about life and health.  Now that I think about it, a lot of the choices I make to be a loyal or repeat customer, or even to make the choice to buy from a company in the first place, have to do something with how much I perceive the company's ideals to be like my own.  I am sure to be a repeat customer at the Bulk Herb Store.

Shoshanna talks a little about her pregnancies and Making Babies:

I got my inspiration for the Making Babies series from the pregnancy and birth of my first child. I loved every stage of my pregnancy and birth! I enjoyed learning and researching when I had morning sickness and when I got indigestion. Every time I was faced with another bridge, I would research, study, learn, apply, and rise to new heights of excitement. I knew everything I did, and did not do, would make a difference with me and my growing baby. It is not always easy finding good food to eat, knowing what exercises to do, and asking the right questions to the right people, but I researched it step by step and enjoyed a healthy pregnancy and birth.

I grew up in an Amish community. Talk about making babies–whoa, they make a lot! No, I am not Amish, but I am a blood-bought child of God. Twenty-five years ago my parents were artists living in Memphis, Tennessee. They wanted to raise us five children in the country so we could learn the dying art of homemaking and the skills of country living. Hard work, herbal remedies, nutritional health, home births, and common sense were all part of the lifestyle in the Amish community.

In November 2004, my husband James and I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I wanted to have my baby in the soothing warmth of my own home, so I went to talk to a midwife. I had assisted in two births before I got married, and knew I wanted my children’s births to be better. With good food, the right exercises, and relaxation, the birth of Jeremiah James was WONDERFUL! The midwife that attended had been to over 350 births and said it was the best she had ever attended. Since my firstborn, I never stopped researching the wonderful world of making babies.

I have been asked many questions about healthy foods, recipes, exercises, and herbal remedies from family, friends, and customers at Bulk Herb Store. In November 2009, we got pregnant with our second child. I was so excited about my pregnancy journey. I was going to have another baby! I thought about all the horrible births I had heard about, and wanted to show women across the world how beautiful pregnancy and birth can be, so I started the Making Babies series.

First Time Mommy Group #2

Today was the first time I had a chance to meet up with the pregnant women in my placement group from my first time mommy meetup.  For their last meeting a few weeks ago, the group went to Clay Cafe Studios and painted pottery.  So today, we stopped by to pick up their finished pieces, and then we went to lunch.

Most of the women in our group are due in October.  One of the gals is due in November and one in December. We are about to gain three new members that are also due in October.  Two of the gals are having twins.  One of the women with twins couldn't make it today, because she is now on bed rest and will be in the hospital because of a condition she developed.  All of us are going back to work after our babies are born.

Regardless of our differences, we have so many things in common right now.  We are all feeling different aches and movements.  We are all getting bombarded with information that we have to sort through.  We all need to buy cribs, car seats, and strollers.  We all have questions.   We are all going through similar experiences.  We all have to make our own decisions on what is best for our own family.  We are all going to need play dates.  We all need other women near us who understand what we're going through.  It might not be a place where I can talk about my choices, but I can talk and ask questions about being a new mom, which is also so very important.  For example, we've got a gal in our group who needs to be entertained in the hospital for the next two months with 11 fast pregnant friends who are all too willing to entertain, because it could be any of us.

I live in my natural birth bubble most of the time, and I forget that most women don't view life this way.  Out of the six of us there today, I am the only one delivering with a midwife and not in a hospital.  Most of the other women in the group are nervous or scared of birth.  I am very confident that my body can do what it was designed to do.  My mantra is that I am going to squat, she's gonna pop out, and that is it. Several of them expressed that they didn't care how the baby came out, just as long as he/she was able to get out. Where the last conversation coming out of my birth class was about other members of the class finding a doctor that would work with an alternative vaccine schedule, the mommy group women talked about how many of them had just gotten boosters and to make sure that everyone that came into contact with the baby had been vaccinated.

Just a side note about Clay Cafe Studios, which is a very neat concept. You can make a reservation or just drop in.  You pick out a piece of pottery, paint it, and then within 10 days, the pieces are ready to be picked up.  There were little banks, plates, and all sorts of things to paint.  I love getting folks coffee mugs, and they had mugs there that could be personalized.  And, even martini and margarita glasses, too!  They had set up the back room for a birthday party. And, a dad had taken his daughter in to pick out something to paint for mom's birthday.  How neat!

WANTED: My Birth Story

One of our assignments from Bradley class last weekend was to write our birth story.  The birth story that is the most ideal for us.  For me...

At 10pm, the contractions start.  The excitement kicks in.  This is it!  I tell my mom, since we're just chilling ta home.  I phone Peggy, Cortney, Kali, Corbee, and David to put them on standby.   Cortney, safely back from her vacation, calls work to tell them that she won't be in the next day.  Cortney comes over to spend the night.  My mom, Cortney, and I go to sleep.

That starts a chain of phone calls and text messages to alert the birth day support party that they will be getting more information in the morning.

We wake up at about 6am.  The contractions have started to get closer together, but I'm rested and still in good spirits.  As each one comes, I completely relax and don't tense up at all.  This makes them just pressure waves instead of painful.  We put our bags in the car and grab the prepped fruit and other food from the fridge. We take a walk around the neighborhood.

At around 8am, Kali picks up David from the metro and swings by to pick up Corbee.  They head to the townhouse. David is taking pictures and video, but he does not faint.  We are all super excited.  We play some dancing music.  If labor hasn't become serious yet, then we continue to go about our day.  We put a load of laundry in.  We make sure that the house is clean and ready for our return.  We make sure that food is ready for this next week.  Maybe Kali and Corbee run to the store.  I am drinking lots of water and eating some energizing food.  I am doing a lot of standing and rocking, squatting, and using the birth ball to roll around.

When I start to get serious about the contractions, when I'm no longer joking, and I have to concentrate on getting through the pressure waves that are now around 3 minutes apart, we head to the birth center.  This is around 12pm.  I relax in the car, and the limited space does not hinder my progress.  Corbee and my mom follow in my car.  Kali drives us.  Cortney sits behind me in order to help support the waves.  We remember that I cannot sit in the backseat, because I am liable to get morning sickness.

The birth day support party is alerted that we're on our way to the birth center.  Some of them are able to meet us there.  Those who cannot break free will connect with us when we return home or later in the week.

At the birth center, we arrive and there's only a few people there.  We have the run of the place and there is lots of privacy.  We are in the Aspen room, and there is plenty of room for everyone to lounge around in the waiting room, too.  The lights are dim.  It's almost dark.  We put on some relaxing music.  I have the freedom to move around the room.  We put up our glitter posters that remind me to RELAX!, RIDE THE WAVES, BIRTH IS WILD, THIS IS NORMAL, YOU ARE ALMOST THERE, SURRENDER / GIVE IN / LET GO, and that TRANSITION = 30 MINUTES (5 to 6 contractions).

The birth pool is full of water and I am free to get in and out as I please.  I can walk around the hallways of the birth center, if I like.  I am continuing to drink lots of water in between EVERY contraction and Cortney makes sure that I eat more energizing food.  When the pressure comes, I am likely to be imitating sleep.  I use the hypnobabies methods to just relax.  I just feel pressure.  Little to no pain.  Some folks are wondering whether or not I'm even really in labor.

The birth progresses on its own time. The midwives are there to make sure everything is okay, but they do give us a lot of privacy.  Both my body and baby know what to do.

I start to get a little shaky and confused.  I can't get comfortable.  There is a lot of pressure down low.  Even if I get a little worked up, everyone stays calm.  I am probably not going to want many people in the birth room after this point, so they can all hang out in the waiting room.  I try not to snap at people, but I can't help it.  I don't want to be pushy, but I have a hard time communicating what I need.  Everyone understands and just tries to stay out of the way.  We recognize that I've hit transition, and we talk through it.  We keep saying that this is normal.  We're almost there.  This will just take 30 minutes. 

We make it through transition and into 2nd stage labor. I have the strong urge to push. I spend a lot of time in a squatting position as I push.  After about 10 minutes of pushing, Lily's head is visible.  I reach down and touch her head with my hand.  I also use a mirror to see what it looks like.  There's my baby girl!

In 10 more minutes of pushing, maybe around 2pm, she is born!  She is confused and purple.  Her skin all wrinkly.  She is immediately placed on my chest.  Her little arms try to move.  She starts to cry a little, but I help her move towards my breast, so that she can breastfeed.  She gazes up at me fuzzily. We get to lay there for at least an hour to rest, connect, and just be happy.  She can breastfeed as much as she wants.

It wasn't painful at all!  Sure, there was pressure and hard work, but all of that meant that we were closer to meeting Lily!

She is not washed when she is born.  Instead, I rub the vernix into her skin.  The umbilical cord is cut only when the last life-giving blood has flowed into her body.  She is not given any shots.  Not even the vitamin K shot.  No lotions or creams are put on the baby.  It's just her and everything Mother Nature gave her.

While she is born, everyone pops some champagne and partakes in Lily's birthday cake.  I have some birthday cake, too!  David is snapping away with the pictures. 

It will be a happy birth day for Lily!

Bradley Class #7 - Labor Rehearsal

We had our labor rehearsal a couple of weeks ago.  Our Bradley birth coach created stations, and we went around the room working through contractions in different positions.  It helped us see what worked for us and what didn't work for us.  I really appreciated the practice, because it instilled a confidence in me. At birth time, we are less likely to panic (leading to tension and pain) because we know what to do.

Our Amazing Support Network

I just want to give a quick shout out to all of the wonderful people who have helped me and Lily over these past couple of months.  Thank you so much for being there for us.  She is going to be a happy, healthy baby, because of you all.

• Kali opened up her home to me and baby Lily when I needed a place to escape to.
• Cortney offered to be my doula and birth coach. She has been the most amazing birth coach.  I get more veggies now, because of her green smoothies!  She's been to so many appointments and birth classes.  She is learning so much, and Lily and I are going to be so well off with her by our side.
• My Mom dropped everything to move down here and help me raise Lily.
• My mom's friend, Michelle, has been so supportive, letting her stay at her house to save money for the move.
• My Dad has driven down from Ohio to Virginia four times in the past three months to visit, help me move, and help me shop.
• My Dad detailed my car a couple of weeks ago, so that I didn't have to worry about it.
• Dad was looking for a place for us to live, and now he's switched to furniture on Craigslist.
• Frank, Cortney, Mary, Nicole, Kali, and my Dad helped me and Lily move from a bad situation into a peaceful one.  Or, should I say that they moved me and I stood around and ate ice cream.
• Michael, Andrew, Frank, Cortney, Kali, Nicole, and my Dad have all been there when I needed bodyguards. 
• Norma, Nicole, Alanna, Kali, Corbee, Mara, Salem, Dave, Elizabeth, Willow, Frank, Cortney, Lauren, my Mom, my Dad, the Women Helping Women gals, and others were there to listen to me tell my story or listen when I was balling my eyes out.
• Kali, Corbee, and Nicole were there to tell me over and over that I'm not crazy.  That I'm normal.
• Elizabeth, Jessy, and Sarah all shared their stories with me.
• David, Norma, Elizabeth, Michelle, Salem, my Dad, and others have supported us by gifting baby stuff.
• Cortney and Nicole are planning Lily's baby shower!
• Nicole, Dave, Kali, Lauren, Will, Frank, Salem, Greg, Norma, Shahab, Cortney, and Mary plan to come help me and my mom move into our new townhouse!
• Salem, Christian, Raynel, Norma, Alanna, and others who have been so kind to share their experiences.
• All of the people who have left encouraging and helpful comments, shared their stories and been supportive on this blog (including Corbee, Elizabeth, Virginia, Vivienne, Christian, Suzanna, Rachel, Sarah, Marienne, and others).  
• To all of the scores of people who have reached out to see if I was okay, to show their love and support, and to see if we needed anything:

THANK YOU!

If I have left anyone out, we love you!  

Natural Teeth Cleaning

What's this?  This isn't toothpaste.  That's right  It's not toothpaste.  This is one of the hardest things I have ever done on this crunchy ride of mine.  I replaced toothpaste with baking soda.  I replaced my Listerine mouthwash with hydrogen peroxide.  It's listed in those hippie green books as natural ways to clean your teeth.  And, you know what?  My teeth are whiter and healthier than they have ever been. My pink gums are back.  My teeth are pearly white.  The coffee stains are gone.  Pregnancy can cause gums to bleed easily, and that completely stopped when I switched over.

It is conventional wisdom that toothpaste must contain fluoride for it to be effective. I was married to this concept, and would not use most of the natural toothpastes for years.  But, crunchy hippies hold that fluoride is nothing more than a waste product of industry and that these people just  get rid of the waste by putting it into our drinking supply and selling it to us in tubes. That fluoride is more likely to be dangerous than helpful and may cause serious health problems.  Blah, blah, blah.  Everything is a conspiracy, they sell us crap we don't need, and it's all going to cause cancer. But seriously.  My teeth don't lie.  I am not going back.

Poem for Lily

29 weeks

I wonder what you're doing in there,
If you already want to pull out your hair,
I am sure that I move the moment you get cozy,
I probably bounce around with too much glee,
Oh the company I keep and their funny voices,
I hope I am making some of the right choices,
The weird music I play on the radio,
And those funny guys on the talk show,
I hope you're dancing to it, too.
I hope that none of this makes you sad and blue.

If you hated the cheeseburgers and the steaks,
Why, it would make my heart break,
Because everything I do is for you,
Except continue to wear those damn shoes,
Please don't forsake the milkshake,
As giving them up would make the earth quake,
You probably roll your little eyes,
How funny we are to you, I can only surmise,
I suppose I am being just silly.
Of course you love it all; you are my Lily.

Safe Cosleeping

 Cosleeping, also known as a family bed, is where little ones sleep with parents.  This can be done with a single bed or with a sidecar cribe or cosleeper.  It has generally been considered taboo since statistics linked infant deaths to sharing the family bed.  But, it is still practiced all over the world, many parents have fallen into the family bed because of exhaustion, and it can be better for baby if done correctly and safely.  Many babies aren't happy sleeping alone.  Infants need the constant touch of a loved one to feel safe.  Little ones who sleep with their parents cry less, sleep more, and can be breastfeed more easily.  A lot of people won't admit to themselves that they cosleep, because they wind up sleeping with baby anyway or rocking baby to sleep all night and not getting any sleep themselves.  My mom rocked me to sleep all night for the longest time.

With the rise of attachment parenting, cosleeping is being talked about more and more as a safe option:

It's important to note that infant solitary sleep is a relatively new practice that has evolved in the western world only within the last 100 years. Recently, there have been efforts by various medical and professional organizations to discourage parents from sleeping with their children for fear that it contributes to an increase in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). However, new research demonstrates that co-sleeping, when practiced by informed parents, can be safe and beneficial. In fact, many cultures where parents routinely sleep with their children report some of the lowest SIDS rates. In some of these cultures SIDS is non-existent.

While at the first Le Leche League meeting I attended, one of the other women brought up cosleeping as a benefit to breastfeeding.  Almost all of the women in the room did practice cosleeping.  For us pregnant ladies, one of the LLL leaders started discussing proper practices:

• No blankets on the bed.
• No pillows near baby.
• No impaired parents in the bed (alcohol, drugs, drowsy medications).
• Non-breastfeeding parents shouldn't cosleep in the bed with baby (breastfeeding moms are more in sync with baby).

And, the chapter librarian mentioned that there were two books in the chapter library that women could check out.  I checked one out called Good Nights: The Happy Parents Guide to the Family Bed.  The authors talk about more ways to have a safe family bed:

•  If either parents smoke, stop.
• Recent statistics say babies should sleep on their back.  Never their stomach.
• It may or may not be safer to have the baby sleep next to the mother only, because she'll be more aware of changes in baby.
• Put parents in between baby and siblings, if they also share the bed.
• Sleep on a firm mattress or futon.  Not on a soft mattress, egg crate, water bed, or couch.
• The bigger the bed, the better.  This reduces the risk of crowding.
• Exceptionally obese folks may not want to consider cosleeping, because they may not be as aware of their body's position in relation to baby.  A sidecar position might be a good option instead.
• Don't put your bed against the wall, and if it has to be, make it flush and pack a towel in the crevasse.
• Keeping a bed lower to the ground can minimize falls.  Directly on the floor is best.
• Make sure the headboard is on straight and tight.  Don't want any little hands or heads getting trapped!
• If the headboard has slats, make sure that they are no more than 2 3/8 inches apart.  Again, we don't want little heads to get stuck!
• Few blankets are better than a comforter, but don't cover baby's head.  (This contradicts what the LLL leaders mentioned, so I will ask have to do more looking into the blanket question.)
• Guardrails, available at baby stores, can help baby from falling off, but they aren't necessarily super safe, because babies can get stuck in compromising positions.