Don't Need No Sonogram

Last week, baby daddy and I went to our first appointment with our midwife.  They are associated with a natural birth center in the area, and we picked this practice because we felt that a lot of their philosophies about health matched up with ours. The center's primary midwife was accompanied by two of her students.  We sat on a couch in one of the luxurious birth rooms and talked about my medical history and eating habits. The brunt of the conversation surrounded which medical procedures and tests we wanted to opt in or opt out of during our pregnancy.  This included blood, urine, and genetic testing.  I opted out of a lot of the genetic and extraneous tests, because false positives for a range of birth conditions and diseases could stress us out.  Sean and I have already talked about what we would do if our baby was born with a condition or disease, and since we're not going to make the choice to abort our pregnancy, we prefer not to have that stress complicate the situation.

Then, I got onto the birthing bed so that they could do an assessment.  With their hands, one of the midwives found the bottom of my placenta and then used a tape measure to determine the size.  Based on that, she made the determination that I was 12 weeks along (today I am 13 weeks, 4 days).   Then, they brought out the fetal doppler and we listened to the baby's heart beat.  Though we didn't get to go home with any new sonogram pictures, we got to listen to our baby's heart beat.  The sound is reassuring, and I can understand why at-home fetal listening devices would be popular.  But, I'm okay with hearing it once a month.  I know that our baby is doing well.  Incredible the things we can do without all of the fancy technology.

It seemed that the women's center we were previously attending was going to schedule us for a sonogram or ultrasound every visit.  And, it was an option to have these done routinely out of the office while we were attending the birth center.  I asked the midwives if they thought any of the ultrasounds were necessary.  They recommended the 20 week ultrasound, which is also the check up where we'll find out the sex. 

We're thinking that I am growing a little Libra girl, but there is a group of us hoping for a Virgo girl.  I'm a Virgo, and baby daddy is a Libra.  Since my due date is October 16th, we're likely to have a Libra, which means that we'll have to save up lots of money for expensive clothes or expensive cars.  Libras like pretty things.  Virgo Mom here is likely to tell them to get a job, but Libra Dad is likely to pay off their credit cards on the sly.  Despite our jokes about the astrological makeup of our baby, the bump is growing, and we're gonna love this child to pieces no matter who he or she is.

First Sonogram

I know that i just spouted off about hospitals, but there are several things that women who are preggers may want that some midwives just cannot provide.  For us, this is a sonogram and some blood work that we decided we wanted to pursue before really understanding the difference between a hospital birth and a natural birth.  I've read some articles that talked about some concern with over exposure during sonograms and ultrasounds, and Sean mentioned that he read that it was mostly a concern with folks who prolonged their exposure by making videos of the baby in the womb.  As my pregnancy progresses, we're going to find these routines less necessary than the standard schedule, because midwives do have their own less invasive tools for monitoring the fetus.

I didn't think I'd find a need for a sonogram until after our first visit with whichever midwife we chose to go with. We were looking, but not exactly finding the midwife for us. However, I started spotting on and off for the first couple of weeks.  In looking it up in books and online, there were lists of possible explanations for spotting, and some of them were very alarming, like an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage.  I was starting to worry that I might be having a miscarriage. And, despite the desire to divorce ourselves completely from the mainstream approach, I made an appointment with the women's center in one of the area hospitals that my pregnant coworker (she's due at the end of March) recommended, and then two weeks ago, we went in to have our first sonogram.

When the technician was doing the sonogram, we could see the little lima bean that was our baby and a heart rate of 142 beats per minute!  It turned out that everything was just fine, but we weren't as far along as we thought.  My last moon time started December 27th, so that would put me at 8 weeks at this visit, but the size of the little pea pod was only 6 weeks and 1 day, which puts the due date later in October than we thought.  My moon times were always flexible, so it didn't surprise me that I ovulated later than we thought.  But, we saw our little munchkin in the womb, oh what a validating experience!

Then, we had an incident.  The technician, who was very sweet, said that we should come back at our actual 8 week visit to see the nurse that we had been scheduled to see that day.  This to keep the visits on track.  She had first told me to come back in two weeks, but changed her mind, and told the gal doing the schedule to have me come back in a week.  This so that we can just check to make sure the baby was in fact growing, because it was a little odd that my due date was so far off.  That schedule gal gave me an appointment day that was two weeks away.  I said that the technician just told us all that I should come back in a week.  She told me to hold on a moment, a moment in which I thought she was going to ask the technician what she had said.  However, she brought over her supervisor to explain to me that I was to come back in two weeks.  That women, having not looked at my file at all, motioned us over to an empty exam room and told us not to be worried, and to make sure to call and ask for her if there was any spotting, and that she would personally take care of me.  Who are you, and why are you involved in this at all? 

We walked back out to the check out counter, expecting to get some kind of appointment card or receipt for the visit.  I was trying not to get upset.  The supervisor was still standing next to us.  I just wanted to collect my appointment card and get on our way.  But, there was no receipt or appointment card being handed to me.  Instead, the schedule gal was just staring at us as if we were stupid.  But, I'm pissed, because her fetching her supervisor indicated to me that she thought we were causing a problem. I didn't care whether we came back in a week or two weeks.  I was just repeating what the technician told the schedule girl to do, which we were all standing there to hear.  The supervisor walked closer to me to comfort me, seeing that I'm getting upset.  I told the supervisor to stop touching me, that I would be fine, and we just wanted to know if they validated parking.  They, of course, did not validate parking.  So, I left upset and even more convinced that the hospital was not the place for us to give birth.

We've since then decided on a different midwife, and more about that part of the story is to come.  I have to make a call to the women's center to see if we can schedule appointments for ultrasounds, but choose to deliver outside of the hospital.  The benefit of sticking with this women's center is that everything is covered 100% by my insurance with no copay.