TV News Life Lessons

me circa 2006 in the audio booth

I've been working in television news for more than 10 years.  It is neat to have a seat in the middle of everything.  But, with this exciting and dynamic role, there have been many life lessons, some of which are morbid, that have repeated themselves or have affected me permenantly. These are life lessons through which I will react like a crazy person to seemingly simple situations and my daughter will think I'm a nut.  But, it's okay, because she will be safe (hahahahahahaha). 

1. The KKK can show up in your town and a riot can ensue.  In fact, that riot can start marching in the direction of your place of work (a TV station with only a door as security).  Actually, don't get too comfortable, because all hell can break loose at any moment.  

2. That even if there is only 1 stoplight on your 10 minute drive to work from your swanky apartment to your nice job downtown, it can be the one stoplight where everyone gets robbed at gunpoint.

3. Do not ride in the first car or the last car on a subway train.  When (not if) there is an accident, it's the people in the first car or the last car that probably won't walk away from that one.

4. Watch out for buses.  They will run you over if you're not watching.

5. Do not ride on the top of those double decker open top buses.  Some heads literally rolled this one time.  I cannot see one of those things without thinking about it.

6. Keep your eye on every tree that could possibly fall on your house or it could fall on your car.  Check the health of any questionable trees, and prepare for the eventually that they might need to be cut down.

7. In the event of an earthquake, you stand in a doorway.  In the event of a tornado, you do not stay in your car, you get in a ditch or under an underpass.  Your car can become a missile with you in it.

8.You do not pass up someone dying on the street.  In the very least, you call 911. Or, you could be like these people and rescue someone.

9. If you do find yourself jumping onto metro tracks to rescue someone in the path of an oncoming train, watch out for the THIRD rail, which can kill you.

10. Even if you are minding your own business on the sidewalk, on a bus stop bench, or at a street fair with no cars, you are not safe.  You could still get run over. 

11. You do not go walking down the street looking at your cell phone or iPod.  Actually, just don't walk down the street, because getting assaulted while being robbed can ruin your life.

12. If your neighbors are running an in-home daycare, chances are that the police will be showing up there very soon.  House will catch fire, children unattended, death, shooting, stabbing, abuse, whatever.  Just don't trust strangers with your kids.  Don't trust anyone with your kids.

13. Have an escape plan in your head in the event that someone comes to your place of business with a gun.

14. The bridge you're driving on can either be hit by a plane or just fall down at any moment.  So, you need to know how to get out of your car when it's under water.



15. Or better yet, the plane could just fall out of the damn sky and hit your house.  Wait, I thought the house was supposed to land on the Wicked Witch.  I get all of this confused.